If I Could Fly
by Arishia-chan
Summary: [AU] After tragedy, the wars are finally over. The Gundam pilots struggle to keep their lives normal, until a fiery-haired girl disrupts everything. Beware - with help from the past, new friends can quickly become new enemies.
1. Enter Kasai

**If I Could Fly**   
  


by: Arishia-chan   
  


This is my first Gundam Wing epic. I know. I know. I should be working on my "Purple Haze Appearing" DBZ fanfic, shouldn't I? Well, about a year ago, while "PHA" was still forming, this GW fic popped into my head. And now it's been completed. 

Please make sure that you read all of this jabbering of mine before continuing. This is an alternate universe fanfic - meaning that things have been changed from the canon series. So don't email me saying "it didn't go that way" because here, it DID. ^_^ 

Also, this is a NON-YAOI fic meaning ALL relationships are male/female and the Wild Wing G-boys are only understanding companions. I also mess around with 'established' relationships (1+2, Z+N, etc) so don't flame me for that either, thanks. Sorry to say all that but I've seen many GOOD Gundam Wing fanfic authors (both yaoi and non-yaoi) get torn down by closed-minded viewers. 

Now, on a lighter note, I'd like to thank my friend, Dantorian, for helping me come up with a very important part of the fic. Can't say exactly what or I'd give it away. ^^ Also thank yous to everyone who's nagged me to actually get something finished! Let's give 'em a round of applause. ::applause:: 

With that out of the way (haha), I must say that I don't own Gundam Wing but I DO own the original characters and concepts created inside this fanfic. Hope you enjoy...   
  


******   
  


**Prologue **   
  


_If I could . . ._

_ . . . take it back . . ._

_say something else . . ._

_. . . think before acting . . ._

_whisper instead of shout . . ._

_. . . and breathe before -_   
  


_- flying can't happen anymore._   
  


*Three Years Ago* 

The explosion was magnificent, if one could dare call it that. The terrorists had vanished into the blackness, leaving behind only death and destruction. Princess Relena had been assassinated, along with Hilde, Noin, and many other friends and relations. The terrorists knew exactly what they were doing. They had known who would be at Princess Relena's dinner party. And they had known when to strike so that the five Gundam pilots would be defenseless. 

The five boys stood alone at the top of the hill surrounding Relena's mansion. Some shed curse words. Some shed tears. Others stood in silence, shedding hatred toward the man known as Zechs Merquise. 

"Ready?" Heero muttered, staring blankly ahead. He raised the detonation device in his steady hand and, not waiting for an answer, pushed the button with his thumb. 

Indeed the explosion was magnificent. A final salute to their lost friends. A final honor to their murdered angels. 

Scarred and broken, they retreated to De Conte, their hideaway in the mountains. Somehow they knew peace would finally reign. The pilots and their Gundams would fade into the night . . . at least for now. Scarred and broken. Gone and forgotten. 

But still strong.   
  


**Chapter 1: Enter Kasai**   
  


_If I could meet you,_

_all my sadness would go away,_

_I'd be happy for once today,_

_and I'd always know what to say_

_if only I could . . ._   
  


*Present Time: After Colony 198* 

Inner city Tokyo, Japan bustled with midday shoppers crowding the streets and sidewalks. Smokey cars rumbled along, adding to the sounds of bicycle chains and scooter brakes. The air was filled with smog and dirt swirling around the people. 

Kasai coughed, stopping for a moment to rub her forehead. She squinted against the bright sun overhead. Japan was so hot! The young girl knelt down to rummage through her bag for her hat. Slipping the cool relief onto her head and flipping two thick braids over her shoulders, Kasai straightened just as she heard a car blaring its horn and the screeching of tires. 

She dodged out of the path of the car, rolling over a few times. 

"Oi! Watch it baka!" the driver yelled out his window and tore away. 

"Jerk off!" she yelled back at him, getting to her feet. "And thanks for the warm welcome!" Grumbling, she hurriedly tried to cram spilled clothes and other items back into her bag before another car came along. 

"Having problems?" 

Kasai jerked her head up, meeting the gaze of a young man blocking the glare of the sun. 

"Gomen nasai!" she sputtered, thinking she was in his way. 

"Oh, not at all," he said with a friendly wink, and bent to help her. 

She shut the bag and stood, flustered. "Uh, arigatou!" 

The young man grinned and picked up her hat, handing it to her. "No problem. Hey, you're not from around here, are you?" 

Kasai sighed. "Is it that obvious? I thought my Japanese was pretty good." 

"It is." He jutted a finger at her suitcase. 

"Oh!" she smiled, setting down the bag. "I just got off the plane actually. I'm sorry! My name's Kasai Summer." 

He accepted her hand. "Nice to meet you, Kasai." She opened her mouth to ask his name but he cut her off with another grin. "You know, you ought to be more careful. The city's tough on newcomers. Ciao!" He turned and slipped deftly into the crowd. 

"Hey!" she called but the young man was too far away to follow. _What the heck? _She watched his long, brown braid vanish into the sea of people. _How weird._ Kasai picked up her suitcase once more and trudged onward to a motel she spied in the distance. More drivers honked at her to get out of the way as she tried to weave a path among the chaos. What a wild place to be transferred to! Here of all places. 

So wrapped up in her scowls was the girl that she did not see the car heading towards her . . . 

*** 

Kasai blinked away the darkness. "Ow, I feel like my head's about to explode," she grimaced as she sat up. "What happened to me? Where am I?" She looked around the elaborately furnished room and then down at the bed she was in. Pushing away the sheets, she carefully swung her feet over the edge and into her own shoes. 

There was a light knock on the door. "Uh, come in," she said. 

A blonde head poked tentatively through the crack. "You're awake. I was hoping you would be." The boy set the tray he was carrying on the dresser and walked over to the bedside. 

"Hello," she said slowly, staring at him. "And you are . . ." 

"Quatre Raberba Winner," the boy said, smiling. 

She studied his face for a moment. "I'm Kasai Summer. From the former Americas. Um, do you know how I got here?" 

Quatre frowned a little. "Duo said he invited you to come here." 

"Duo," she echoed, putting a little weight on her legs to see if she could stand. "But I don't know anyone in Japan." 

"Are you sure?" the boy asked, puzzled. "He's got a long braid . . ." 

"Oh yeah," she nodded. "I only saw him for a moment though before he took off." 

"He said a car almost ran you down." 

"Yeah." Kasai took a few timid steps over to the dresser. "I think cars are attracted to me or something. Where is he now?" 

"Duo? Oh, he'll be back in a minute. He went to get some pain mediation for you." 

A door slammed in the distance. Then shouts of "Honey, I'm home!" made their way to the pair. The blonde boy winced a little as the babbling continued, footsteps stomping up and down stairs. 

"That would be Duo," Quatre informed Kasai with a slight sigh. "I'll go tell him you're awake. Your suitcase is on that chair and there's tea on the tray if you want some." 

"Thank you." 

The boy bowed slightly and left the room. _He seems nice_, thought Kasai. _And something about him _- 

She shook off the weird feeling and poured herself a cup of hot tea, sipping it cautiously. So that guy's name was Duo. She wondered why he hadn't told her his name to begin with. It's not like she knew him anyway. And, better yet, _he_ didn't know _her_. 

Glancing at herself in the mirror, Kasai made a face. She looked horrible. Fishing in her bag, she found a brush and untied the two braids until her deep scarlet hair cascaded halfway down her back. She brushed the tresses and skillfully retied the braids. There. A bit better. 

She moved her suitcase and sat in the chair, sipping her tea. 

*** 

"She has to go." 

"For the hundredth time, Heero, no!" Duo shouted as the Japanese pilot glared at him. "She almost got hit by a car. If you just take a look at her you can see she has no idea where she's going. She needs a place to stay -" 

"She can_not_ stay here," Heero repeated, narrowing his cobalt eyes. 

"Heero," Quatre ventured. "Not even for a little while? Until she heals up, that is?" The blond boy faltered when those cold eyes turned to him. 

"I think Heero's right," came a soft voice from the kitchen entrance. Trowa stepped into the room and leaned against the hall, arms folded loosely. He lowered his voice even more. "We can't take the chance on this girl discovering our Gundams. You know that, Quatre." 

The other boy looked away. "But we can't turn her out into the street." 

"You're damn right we can't!" Duo exploded, ignoring Heero's stare. "She's harmless! Look, if it makes you feel better, I'll look after her. I'll change her water, make sure she's got plenty of food, and a dry place to sleep -" 

"Fine," muttered the Japanese pilot. "I am holding you responsible. But if she gets in my way -" 

"I know, I know. Omae o korosu. We're heard it a thousand times already. 'I will kill you.' Jeez, Heero, maybe you could actually kill someone once in a while instead of just telling them you will. I mean, after a while we stop believing that you'll ever actually kill us." 

"Duo." 

"Shut up?" 

"Hai." 

"Shutting up." 

*** 

Kasai sighed. She wanted to ask more questions, if Duo ever showed up. Maybe she should go find someone else to tell her where she was so she could report in. She was sure the agency's head would be wondering about her not contacting them. 

Setting down her tea, she walked over to the door and cracked it open. People were arguing down the hall, their voices echoing off the walls. Kasai stepped hesitantly out into the hallway. Gods, she hoped they weren't arguing about _her_. 

She swallowed hard. Alone and in a strange house. Not exactly a warm welcome to Japan. 

The shouting dwindled down and, feeling braver, Kasai decided to find this 'Duo' boy herself. 

*** 

"Someone woke up on the wrong side of the world this morning," Duo whistled, scratching the back of his head and watching Heero leave. "Man, what's with him?" 

"Heero's just worried," said Trowa. "He's got good reasons to be." 

"Yeah, but does he have to be worried about _everything_?" 

"When the missions are at stake, he has to be." 

Duo sighed. "I suppose you're right. But the security is so tight here, no one could -" 

Quatre cleared his throat. "Good afternoon, Kasai." 

"Uh, hello." Kasai shifted uncomfortably in the doorway. "I was going to stay in my - my room but I heard people talking so I just thought . . ." 

"That's fine," the blonde smiled warmly. "Duo was just saying we should go get you, weren't you, Duo?" 

"Um, yeah yeah!" he agreed enthusiastically, braid swinging behind him. "Kasai this is Trowa. Trowa, Kasai." 

"Nice to meet you, Trowa." 

"Yeah." He pushed off the wall, striding out of the kitchen. "You too," he uttered as he left. 

"Heh, that's Trowa all right," commented Duo uneasily. "So, you've met Quatre?" 

Kasai shrugged off the tall boy's indifference and nodded. "And I met some guy in the hall. I introduced myself but all he said was 'omae o korosu.' Doesn't that mean -" 

"Oh, look!" Duo interrupted. "Quatre's making supper! Why don't you help him?" He shoved Kasai at Quatre and ran out of the kitchen. 

"Strange boy," muttered Kasai. 

Quatre grinned, stirring something in a large pot. "You get used to it after awhile. We have." 

"We?" 

"Yes," he answered. "The five of us." 

"Five? I've seen only four." 

"There's Chang Wufei too." 

"Oh." She glanced around the kitchen. "So, you live here alone?" 

Quatre nodded. "We all attend the University up in the mountains so we rented this place together." 

"It's nice." 

"Thank you," he said politely. 

"You're welcome." Kasai played with the frayed end of one of her braids for a moment before looking up. "Listen, if they were fighting about me, I'll gladly leave." 

"No, it's not that," insisted Quatre. "We're just not used to. . ." 

"Used to what? Girls?" Kasai laughed. "Don't worry. I don't bite." 

Red colors crept up Quatre's neck and twinged his ears. "No, it's not that." 

Kasai's grey eyes twinkled merrily. "Here, I'll help you with that." She took the spoon from him. "Might as well earn my keep, ne?" 

Quatre grinned a little and went to check the oven. Concentrating on the pot of food, Kasai thought to herself. 

_Everyone is so uptight here. Like they're afraid I'll discover something. Five boys living in a large mansion. Something is definitely not right. _

Out of the corner of her eye, Kasai watched Quatre poke whatever was in the oven. 

_Definitely. _

"Well! That's taken care of!" Duo walked back into the kitchen, stretching his arms over his head. "Mmm. Smells good, Quatre," he commented, sniffing the pot Kasai stirred. 

She nudged him away. "I'm trying to _help_ here," she insisted playfully. 

Duo grabbed her arms, pulling her away from the pot. "Leave the cooking to Quatre. I'll show you around. You can sleep in the room where your stuff is if you want to. We're kinda low on sheets though so if you wanna change 'em, you might want to use your own if you brought any." 

"I have some," she said, thinking of the monogrammed pair. "I can change them before going to bed." 

Giving the blonde boy an apologetic look, she obediently followed the swishing braid out of the kitchen. 

**** 


	2. Stay

I figured I'd go ahead and post the second chapter as well. Here ya go...   
  


*********   
  


**Chapter 2: Stay**   
  


_If I could stay_

_wrapped up in your life_

_take out this imbedded knife,_

_and end my unending strife._

_If only I could . . ._   
  


The clicks rang loudly in the empty hanger as Heero Yuy typed quickly on the keys. Wing Zero loomed silently above him, cobwebs hanging around the Gundam's massive bulk like a death shroud. The other four Gundams were in the same condition. Untouched since three years ago. 

"_No items found_," the message blinked. 

"K'so." Heero was about to turn the machine off but decided against it. There were other things he needed to look up besides the same two words he had typed for three years. 

"File check on Kasai Summer," the pilot muttered, cobalt eyes roaming skillfully over the laptop screen. "Nationality: American. Age: 18," he read. "A dropout from Roalhom High School. Since then has been traveling around Earth with appearances in twenty-one different countries. Occupation: none. Relatives: none. She has no law violations in either space or on Earth. No arrests or traffic tickets. 

"She's spotless." He leaned back in his chair, closing the laptop. "Maybe she really is Kasai Summer. What do you think?" he asked the Gundam above him. "Hai, that is what I thought too." He picked up the laptop, tucking it under his arm. 

"Nothing, Heero?" came Trowa's voice from the shadowed Heavyarms. There was a soft "plop" and the taller boy moved into the light. 

"Nothing." 

"What did Wing Zero tell you?" 

"That the computer is wrong." 

Trowa nodded. "Heavyarms told me the same thing." He turned to leave the hanger. "Dinner is ready." 

"Hai. I'm coming." 

*** 

"You _what_?!" the Chinese pilot spit out. 

"I told you," Duo said, shrugging, but making sure he was a good ways away from Wufei. "I met her in the inner city today. She almost got hit by a car so I brought her here." 

"Let me get this straight," Wufei said slowly. "You brought her here? You _brought_ her _here?_ What were you thinking, _baka_? That she would stay in her little room the whole time? That the Gundams would be safe?" 

"Shh, Wu-man!" Duo hissed. "These walls aren't very thick." 

"Not as thick as your head!" the Chinese pilot threw back at him. 

"Calm down," said Heero flatly. "Duo won't give up his new pet." 

The Deathscythe pilot rounded on him, eyes suddenly blazing. "My pet, huh? Is that what you called her? Kasai's just new to Japan, Heero! I'm only trying to help her! You know that!" 

Heero didn't reply, only stared at him cooly. Duo's violet eyes skimmed over the table at the other pilots and then landed back on Heero. 

"You think she's more than Kasai Summer, don't you?" he said accusingly, jumping to his feet and knocking over his chair. "You probably already looked her files up and checked her out, didn't you, Heero? Didn't you?! My gods! Is everyone a spy for OZ? Must you suspect _everyone_?!" 

"We just need to be careful," said Trowa quietly. "Duo, you can understand that." 

Quatre looked up at the Deathscythe pilot hopefully. _Don't fight._ _Please don't fight._

"Injustice!" Wufei cried. "I want her out of here! No woman is going to mess up our missions!" 

"Why would she mess them up?" Duo asked, slumping dejectedly against the wall. "Did Relena or Hilde ever mess them up? How about Catherine or - or _Sally_, Wu-man?" 

Silence settled over the dining hall as the pilots stared into their plates. 

"Injustice," Wufei whispered again but this time the word held no meaning, if it ever did. 

"They never messed them up, Duo," said Heero, standing. His chair scraped noisily against the wooden floor, startling the others. Long bangs hid his face. "But they did get in the way and that girl will only do the same. Now sit back down and finish eating." Heero glanced at the other pilots. "All of you." 

"Right, Heero." Duo straightened his chair and sat in it. "I'm sorry, guys." 

No one said anything during the rest of the meal. 

*** 

Sun kissed the room, bathing everything in a bright glow. A light breeze fluttered in through the open window and caressed Kasai's face. She sighed, letting the breeze cool her, and then continued folding her clothes. 

"Knock, knock." 

Kasai clenched her eyes shut, took a deep breath. "Come in, Duo." 

"How'd ya know it was me?" the boy grinned, opening the door. His face fell when he saw her open suitcase, eyes darkening. 

"Don't you say anything. I mean it," Kasai said, not looking up. She stuffed the rest of her clothes in the bag and zipped it up. 

"What - what're doing?" 

"I'm leaving." 

"But - but -" 

"Your friends don't want me to stay, Duo, so what's the point?" 

"_I_ want you to stay," he argued, jerking the bag away from her. 

Kasai put her hands on her slim hips. "Why? You don't even know me." 

"And you don't know _me_. We'll get to know each other together! Come on! It'll be fun!" 

"Life isn't all fun and games, Duo." 

"Sure it's not, but we can pretend like it is!" He tossed her bag on the bed. "Go on a walk with me." 

"A what? Duo, I told you, I'm leaving now. I need to leave in time to find a hotel before nightfall." 

The chestnut-haired boy took her hand. "Leave later. Right now, outside's calling you. Come on!" He made a sad face. "Please?" 

"Oh," Kasai muttered. "You are so pathetic." 

"I know!" He laughed as she followed him out the door. 

*** 

"My father and mother died when I was 8," Kasai said, walking alongside Duo. "In a car accident." 

"I'm sorry." 

She shrugged, tugging on one of her dark red braids. "I didn't really know them enough to be heartbroken. They didn't have any other relatives so I got stuck in an orphanage until I turned 13 when I left. I've been on my own ever since." 

"I know what it's like on the streets. Must've been tough not having anybody to take care of you." 

"Not really." She gave a little laugh when he arched an eyebrow. "I'm used to taking care of myself. I guess I'm also lucky there are so many cheap motels." 

Duo tucked his hands behind his head, looking up at the cloudless sky. "You said you came from the former Americas. What brought you here?" 

"Adventure. There are too many neat places just to stay at home, ne?" She stared at her feet padding along the dirt path. "I don't really have a home so traveling's no problem. What about you?" 

Duo grinned. "I'm an orphan too and De Conte's my home for now. I actually come from the former Americas myself." 

"Really? And your friends?" 

"Oh, we're scattered around. Japan, China, Middle East or something like that. You name it and we came from there." 

"How'd you meet?" 

His face darkened a little. "Uh, school. We met in school." 

"Oh." Kasai kicked at a rock absentmindedly. _These guys have so many secrets._ "So what are your plans after college?" 

"I dunno. More college, maybe? Don't really have any plans. Do you?" 

"Maybe." She smiled at him. "I think I'm starting to like Japan." 

"Good! 'Cause I like it too." The boy gave a hearty laugh. "See? I knew we had something in common!" 

*** 

Wufei put his hand against the glass, peering outside. "Duo no baka," he muttered under his breath. "Like a fool, he trusts the girl. Women!" He shook his head. "Enemy or not, they always get in the way." 

"I'll find out if she's an enemy," stated Heero. 

"And what if she is?" Trowa asked from where he leaned against the window. 

"Then I will kill her." 

Wufei smirked. "Duo no baka," he repeated. "We'll have to keep an eye on her." 

Duo and Kasai's laughter drifted up to them. "We don't have to worry about that," said Heero, cobalt eyes fixated on the two. "I don't think she's going anywhere."   
  


****** 


	3. Just Dance

Oh good! I've gotten nice comments so far so I'm glad you guys are hopefully enjoying this. ^_^   
  


Just so you know, I couldn't resist picking on Wufei in this chapter. I love him to death but he's too easy to pick on. hehe****   
  


**Chapter 3: Just Dance**   
  


_If I could have fun,_

_have bouncy, glorious prancing_

_all night long would be dancing_

_leave my worries to fate chancing_

_If only I could . . ._   
  


****"See, Kasai? It's as easy as dodging a car." 

"Which I can't do," she reminded Duo as the pair wove their way through the crowds. "The inner city is a great, wild mesh of people and automobiles. Getting around here is more like navigating through a sand storm. What are we looking for again?" 

"The Easy One. A little jewelry shop. There it is!" The boy grabbed her hand and pulled her through the people until they reached a doorway, cracked and paint peeling. "Wait here." 

Kasai fidgeted outside the little shop. She was lucky to have found someone to talk to here in Tokyo and boy, could Duo talk! She grinned at the thought. The grey-eyed girl liked this Duo Maxwell. After only five days, she knew she'd found a friend in this strange new country. 

A friend . . . both lucky and unfortunate for her. 

"Domo arigatou!" Duo shouted as he came clambering out of the shop. "There! My pride and joy." He spread out his palm. 

"It's beautiful!" Kasai exclaimed, touching the golden cross. 

"Yep, it sure is." He fastened it around his neck; the shiny hues contrasted against his black attire. "I'm just glad to get it back. The chain got broken and this shop was the only one that would fix it for free." 

Kasai beamed at the delight in his violet eyes and pulled out a scrap of paper from her pocket. "Let's see. Quatre wanted us to pick up some potatoes while we were here. And milk." 

Duo shook his head. "The little devil's got you doing his grocery shopping for him now, isn't he? Well I'm not doing it." He crossed his arms, jutting his chin in the air. "I don't shop for nobody but myself. Let's go get some ice cream instead!" 

"I offered," she corrected, tossing her head. "Come on. We can get ice cream afterward." She looped her arm through his and dragged him back into the crowd, him protesting the entire way. 

*** 

Kasai stumbled into the kitchen, hair disheveled. A yawn ripped through her and she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. 

"Morning," she mumbled, plopping down across from Quatre. 

"Good morning!" came a sing-song voice and both she and the blonde groaned. 

"How can he be so energetic this early?" Quatre inquired. "My eyes won't even open yet." 

"What a beautiful day!" Duo exclaimed, waltzing in. "The sun is shining. The birds are chirping. I'm all dressed so let's go!" 

Kasai moaned and laid her head on the counter. "Give me just a few more seconds." 

Duo shook his head and rummaged in the refrigerator for breakfast. "So who all's coming?" 

"Looks like just you, Kasai, Heero, and me," answered Quatre. 

"Heero's going?" Duo let out a bark of laughter. "I thought he hated to dance!" 

Quatre shrugged. "He's going." 

"Imagine that," the other boy mused, sitting beside Kasai. "Why aren't Trowa and Wu-man coming?" 

"Trowa twisted his ankle, remember?" 

"Oohhh," Duo said, slapping a hand against his forehead. "Forgot about that." _That mission last night . . . we barely made it out._

"And Wufei just didn't want to." 

"Party pooper," complained Duo. He swung off his seat to put his glass in the sink. "We need to have more fun! Don't we, Kasai?" 

Kasai groaned again, turning her head over to wrinkle her nose at the chestnut-haired boy. "I don't think Wufei likes me very much." 

"Why do you say that?" frowned Quatre. 

"I haven't even met him yet." 

Duo shot her a meaningful look. "I wouldn't worry about it, Kasai. Wu-man just doesn't like women." 

Kasai raised her head off the counter to nod in understanding. "He's gay." 

Quatre sputtered, spilling milk on himself. Confusion spread across Duo's violet eyes and then he burst out laughing. 

"No, no!" he cried, holding his sides. "I mean he just doesn't like women!" 

Kasai blushed furiously. "Oh. Sorry. I didn't know." Embarrassed, she lay her head back on the counter and then jerked it up again. "Good morning, Heero." 

He ignored her. "Are we ready to go, Quatre?" 

"Yep. All ready." 

"Hey, Heero ole buddy!" Duo hopped over to his side. "I thought you hated dancing!" 

"I do." 

The braid curved as Duo tilted his head to the side. "Then why are you coming _dancing_ with us?" 

"To make sure _you_ don't make a fool of yourself." 

The other boy's violet eyes grew large. "Did I just hear you make a joke? Heero cracked a funny? _Heero_, Mr. 'I will kill you' just cracked a joke?! By the Maker, that's a Kodak moment if ever there was one!" 

"Duo." 

"Shutting up." 

Kasai sighed. The drive to the nightclub would be a long one. 

*** 

"Ahh! Feels good to get away! Doesn't it, Quatre?" Duo nudged the blonde driver who smiled and nodded. 

"Yeah, but do we have to drive half a day just to get there?" complained Kasai. She shifted in her seat behind Duo, trying to get comfortable. They had been driving for nearly three hours already and no matter how she twisted, she couldn't get cozy. 

Heero sat beside her, staring blankly out the window as the trees and other cars zoomed by. Every once and a while he would add a grunt or one-word comment to the conversation but never looked up. 

_What's with him?_ she thought. _Always so silent and reserved. He hasn't said one word to me this whole time. _"So, where are you from, Heero?" she asked, opting to gain some kind of reaction from him. 

"Here," he answered, not taking his eyes off the outside. 

"Oh. What part?" 

"Here." 

_Ok, tough guy. _"Any siblings?" 

"No." 

"What's your favorite color?" 

Steel cobalt eyes met her own grey ones and she forced herself to give him her sweetest smile. He stared at her for a moment before looking back outside. 

"Green." 

*** 

Kasai watched the landscape rush by at alarming speeds and had to look away for a moment to get her mind off the blurring trees. She looked down and saw the frayed end of the long braid belonging to their current driver. Kasai inwardly groaned. When Duo Maxwell got behind the wheel, one had best just hang on and grit their teeth till the ride was over. 

They curved around another sharp turn (Kasai could've sworn they took it on two wheels) and Heero finally snapped, "I'm driving!" Duo pouted but pulled to a screeching halt at the next gas station and the three boys played musical chairs- Heero driving, Duo in the passenger seat, and Quatre back with Kasai. Heero, while still a speeder, at least had enough decency to slow down when needed. 

Kasai watched the landscape zoom by again, a bit slower this time, and wasn't able to stifled a sudden gasp. 

"What's wrong?" asked Quatre worriedly. 

She paled when she saw the three of them staring at her but managed to stutter, "N-nothing in particular. I've j-just never seen, um . . ." She pointed out the window, at the two rusted . . . machines. 

Heero leveled a cool gaze upon her through the rear-view mirror. "They are mobile suits left unclaimed after the wars." 

"Unclaimed and rusted shut," Duo said, twisting around and leaning over the passenger seat. He formed his hands into two guns. "Ya know, with guns and stuff." He made shooting noises and explosions, firing at Kasai with his pointing fingers. 

"Stop it, Duo," Quatre said, frowning. "That's horrible." 

Duo responded with 'shooting' at him too. Then he fell back in his seat, cackling gleefully for the next fifty miles or so. 

*** 

The club took the form of an old, dank, box-like building, black paint peeling and weathered. Kasai didn't like the dark mood of the whole area; it gave an her an uneasy, jittery feeling. She yelped when Duo turned around in his seat and tapped her on the head. 

"Here." 

She blinked at the brown, paper-wrapped package. "What is it?" 

"Just open it." He winked and jumped out the passenger side, another package in hand. "I'm gonna go change!" And he disappeared around the side of the building. The three of them stared at each other for a while - Quatre and Heero also had brown packages. 

Quatre gulped nervously. "I guess we should unwrap them." 

"Um, yeah." Kasai pulled the string that held the gift together and revealed a neatly-folded stack of - 

"Clothes," Heero muttered. Almost like he didn't want to touch the articles, the Japanese pilot picked up by the shoulders a deep emerald shirt with ragged long sleeves. Below that lay, still neatly folded, a pair of green and black snakeskin-patterned pants. What Kasai really wanted to do was burst out laughing but the look on Heero's face quickly snuffed that out. 

_Her_ outfit, on the other hand, consisted of an ebony skirt and a grey tanktop. She held up matching shoes and a clump of jewelry also fell out. 

"What did you get, Quatre?" she asked, leaning to peer over his arm. 

The little Arab was blushing profusely. He managed to stamper a bit before showing them his own Duo-selected outfit. 

"Oh, Quatre! It's so cute!" 

Quatre blushed even more and Heero grunted in comment, staring stoically out the window. Duo came bounding back to the car, waving madly for them to come out. The three walked up to the entrance of the rundown club and stopped just as suddenly. 

Duo Maxwell looked like a demon messenger to those who first glanced at him. His chestnut hair hung glittering down his back only half bound. Around his neck curved a black, cross-studded choker, accenting the sleeveless black dress shirt he wore. The shirt was tucked into tight, black, leather pants with a silver chain looped through the belt holes, ending in a high, black boots. Clip-on earing studs, kohl-rimmed eyes, and several rings completed the look. 

"D-Duo," stammered Kasai, trying hard not to goggle. "You look-" Red crept up her cheeks. 

Duo did a little twist around, braid swinging, and looked down at his own outfit. "I guess I overdid it a bit," he admitted, grinning at them sheepishly from beneath chestnut bangs. 

Heero snorted. "Are we going in?" 

"Oh, right right!" Duo exclaimed, sweeping a hand toward the front door. "But not before you change!" 

Quatre blushed again and ducked his head. Heero only fixed a 'no way in hell' glare on the braided boy. 

Kasai shrugged. "I'll do it. Where can I change?" 

"There's a shed around the corner," Duo said, jutting a thumb in the general direction. 

"Thanks." Kasai grabbed up her package and ran to the lean-to he'd shown her. Changing quickly, she flickered a hand through her rumpled hair and rebraided it once down her back before stepping out. 

That Duo. He'd picked out the perfect clothes for her- the right size and everything. The black, layered skirt tickled her ankles and she tugged on the hem of the sparkly grey tank top. The choker and silver chain at her throat jingled as she walked back to the boys. 

"Quatre!" she cried, clapping her hands. "You look good!" 

"Thank you," he murmured and the compliment seemed to make him relax more. 

Quatre _did_ look good though. His slim chest was bared by a low-collared, light blue, ruffled shirt stuffed into a pair of silvery pants. Light blue glitter shone on his face and Duo had even somehow convinced him to wear two fake diamond studs clipped on his ears. While Duo was dark and alluring, the little Arab possessed an air of mysterious sweetness about him. 

And Heero . . . Heero, in his green tank top and spandex shorts, was just . . . abnormal. 

"Come on, Heero buddy!" Duo whined. "I picked out those clothes just for you! Don't you care how long it took me to find them? I had to shop all day long. My feet were killing me by the time I got done and you don't even care. You're so ungrateful -" 

"Fine." 

Duo's insane grin widened and he put a hand to his ear. "What did you say? Are you *really* gonna -" 

Heero, scowling, grabbed up the articles from the car and stomped off. Seconds later, he reemerged, arms crossed over his chest, and glaring so furiously that Kasai stumbled back a few paces. 

"Much better!" Duo said cheerfully, unfazed. "Now we can go in. Follow me!" He opened the rusty front door and immediately they were bombarded with the booming base of a stereo system turned up way too high. Duo said - shouted, rather - something to a large, burly man standing in their way and they were allowed to fully enter the dance club. 

Kasai tapped Duo on the arm to get his attention. "Come here often?" She could barely hear herself over the blaring music that pounded inside her. 

Duo shook a finger at his ear, indicating he couldn't understand, and laughed. He mouthed "isn't this fun?" and galloped off through the meshing, bouncing, animalistic crowd. Quatre was clinging to her arm, taking his surroundings in wide, blue eyes. Heero had planted himself in a dark corner, away from everyone else, and surveyed the situation grumpily. 

To avoid being trampled on, Kasai skirted around the dance floor, Quatre in tow. She spied an empty table and plopped down beside it and Quatre followed suit. The music wasn't quite as loud over here and she could at least hear herself talk. 

"Ever been to a dance club before?" she asked Quatre, having to put her mouth close to his ear. 

Quatre nodded. "A few times whenever Duo gets in the mood to party. But never anything quite as wild as this. You?" 

"No, never," she confessed. She noticed the blonde fidgeting with the ruffled end of his pale shirt and she nudged him. "So, you wanna dance?" 

Quatre glanced at the dance floor where a new song had started. The crowd moved crazily to the strong, upbeat rhythm; everyone was so happy. He smiled and nodded and the two of them merged with the crowd. 

*** 

Kasai didn't know how long she and Quatre had been bouncing around when she suddenly felt a gloved hand close around her own. She spun to face Duo. A wide grin reached and sparkled intense, violet eyes. He was breathing heavily, silently laughing at her attempts to dance, and he seemed like a lively sprite standing before her . . . holding her hand . . . 

Duo evidently caught her change of expression. "Q-man, mind if I cut in?" 

"No, go ahead," Quatre replied, smiling. "I could use a break." They watched him join Heero at the table and Duo's sudden jerk on her hand startled her. 

"Hey! I _love_ this song! Care to dance? If you don't wanna, that's okay. I just thought maybe -" 

"Sure." 

"Great!" Duo beamed. As his lithe body began to move with the beat, Kasai watched him as if spell-bound and then joined in the feverish dance.   
  


_I wanna sway; I gotta sway_

_today, today, fast and furious_

_Find me in the beat, baby._

_Find me today._   
  


It was easy for Kasai to lose herself in the fast rhythm as she jumped around and did her best to match Duo's skilled moves. Then the song ended and another one took its spot, this time slow and alluring. Duo wiped his sweat-slick brow and held out a hand to her. 

"Duo, I - I don't think - I mean -" 

"Scared?" The challenge lightened those violet depths. 

"Of course not," she lied, the room suddenly too hot. "I just . . . I don't know how," she ended lamely. 

"It's easy," he told her, shrugging. "You just move." 

"Ok . . ." Those two letters had barely left her mouth when Duo clasped her hands and guided them to his shoulders. Kasai gulped, feeling the pressure on her lower back, and then the decreased distance between them. Duo's face was tiny inches away and her forehead burst into fire as his bangs brushed hers. 

"Duo -" she protested. 

"Let the music take you away," he breathed. 

She closed her eyes, the song and Duo's touch overwhelming her.   
  


_Spend all your time waiting _

_for that second chance, _

_For the break that will make it okay._

_There's always some reason _

_to feel not good enough, _

_And it's hard at the end of the day._

_Let me be empty and weightless and maybe _

_I'll find some peace tonight. _   
  


The breeze caressed her face in a flurry of feet and warmth and she clung tighter to Duo.   
  


_In the arms of the Angel..._

_far away from here _

_From this dark, cold hotel room, _

_and the endlessness that you fear. _

_You are pulled from the wreckage _

_of your silent revelry _

_In the arms of the Angel; _

_may you find some comfort here _   
  


_You're in the arms of the Angel; _

_may you find some comfort here. _   
  


She saw light and fire and the rustle of black cloth. Heat everywhere and the wind flew through her hair that felt longer than normal. She felt a whispered breath in her ear, in a voice too deep to be Duo's, _"Dancing is like flying, Kasai, only you are not alone . . ."_

And then the song ended. Kasai found herself pouting and reluctantly pulled away. For once, Duo wasn't grinning madly and his eyes were clouded with something she didn't understand. The air between them grew uncomfortable.   
  


_Say my name, say my name_

_when no one is around you, _

_say 'baby, I love you.'_   
  


Duo gave a little shake and forced a laugh. "I love this song too!" he yelled and broke contact with er. Still wondering what the heck had just happened, Kasai was immersed in another song with the braided boy dancing just beside her. 

*** 

In a dark corner of the club, unnoticed by anyone else, sat two figures. One had his arms crossed over his chest, giving scowls to those who stepped too close. The other was hunched over, unruly blonde hair hiding his pain-filled face. His shaking hands cupped the area above his heart and he drew in a deep, ragged breath. 

As if noticing for the first time that his companion was not well, Heero turned his head to fix a worried gaze upon him. 

"Daijoubu ka?" 

"Y-Yes," Quatre gasped. Just as quickly as this strong pain had seized his chest, it was fading away and briefly he was able to sit up again. "I'm fine now, Heero." He edged closer to the Wing Zero pilot. "What do you know about Kasai?" 

Cobalt eyes didn't leave the dancing girl. "She is an American, that is all I know." 

"For now . . ." Quatre implied. 

"For now," Heero confirmed. "Duo likes her." 

The other boy shrugged. "I like her too. She's nice. But . . ." 

"Hai. Demo." Heero turned his gaze to Quatre. "Any more pain?" 

"No, it's all gone." _But for how long?_ he didn't add and the thought gnawed on his mind.__

Duo came bouncing over to the table. "Why the long faces, guys? It's a party! You need _party_ faces! Like this!" He tried out a face and Quatre had to stifle a laugh at the ridiculous look. 

"An improvement." 

Duo flashed a pink tongue at Heero's comment and turned to look over his shoulder. "Wa~i! A photographer!" The pilot grabbed the arm of the man selling pictures and tugged him to the group. Throwing an arm around Kasai, he pulled her close and then did the same to Quatre. "Smile, everyone!" 

A bright flash and their picture was taken. The photographer handed Duo the photo as it came sliding out and then held out his other hand for payment. Duo stuffed some coins into the hand and then hopped from one foot to the other, waiting for the photo to finish developing. 

Then there was a shout and the three of them swung around to see Heero calmly extracting the roll of film from the poor photographer's camera. 

"Oi! You can't - that's _mine!_" 

Heero ignored the man and, seeing the looks they were getting, murmured, "It's best we left now." 

Pouting, Duo sighed. "It's still early!" 

"Now." 

"Come on, Duo," Quatre agreed, nervously eyeing the security heading their way. The yelling photographer tried to grab the picture from Duo's hands but Duo slapped at them, clutching the photo. 

"We're outta here!" he cried and took off toward the front entrance. Scampering after him, Kasai ran like crazy, Quatre on her heels and Heero just behind him with the film. 

They made it outside and jumped into their car, leaving tire marks on the pavement. 

_*He looked into the rear view mirror. "We have company."*_

Kasai shook her head at the weird whisper in her head and managed a laugh when Duo leaned across the driver's seat to peer at Heero who was driving. 

"What's with you and flashy exists anyway?" 

****** 

_Arishia-chan's notes: I know the whole thing about Wufei not liking women in a very GW cliche, but that's sorta how I saw him in the series. It's not that Wufei HATES women - it's just that he sees them as weaker opponents. That's why he wouldn't fight Noin, because she was weaker than him. I tried to ster Wufei's character away from how he's mostly portrayed in GW fanfiction but kept coming back to that idea and of course the whole 'injustice' thing. Forgive my cliches. ::bows::_

_Also, there was a comment Heero made, about his origins being in Japan. I KNOW he came from Colony 01, but it's a fact that Heero is Japanese. I'm assuming Japan is where his parents or great-great-great parents or something came from. And I'm also assuming Heero knew this. ::shrug::_

_And one more thing. In the dance scenes, I made up the first lyrics, but the second 'song' was from the City of Angels soundtrack while the third song was from Destiny's Child's "Jumpin' Jumpin'." And yes, I do realize GW is a FUTURISTIC anime but oh well._

_Oh, and just so you know, I got the ideas for the dance costumes from that pic of the G-boys playing in a band. ^_^_


	4. Encounter With Wufei

Oops, I made a mistake on a comment about the last chapter. One of the songs was Destiny Child's "Say My Name," not "Jumpin' Jumpin'." Gomen ^_^****   
  


**Chapter 4: Encounter With Wufei**__   
  


_If I could sword play,_

_meet someone's sense of iron justice,_

_meet their life with a curving fist,_

_pacifism no more I'd miss_

_If only I could . . ._   
  


After goodnights were said, Kasai stumbled down the hallway to her room. The kitchen light was on. Trowa sat by the counter, reading that morning's newspaper. He looked up momentarily when she passed by. 

"You're back early." 

She paused long enough to grin and say, "We got a little carried away," and then continued to her room. In the doorway, she stopped. A clanging sound further down twinged her ear and she frowned. 

_What is that?_

Hesitating, she glanced back at the kitchen. Trowa hadn't heard the noise, or else was just ignoring it. Her reddish brows furrowed. Tilting her head to the side, she edged forward and listened for it again. The clanging noise was coming from that light up ahead. As she came nearer, she realized it was a large panel of glass, a huge window in the wall. Kasai cupped her hands together and peeked inside.__

A boy stood inside the padded room the window opened to. Black hair pulled back in a short ponytail framed equally black eyes. The boy held a long, slim katana in his hand which he thrust into the air and hit against a tall pole, making the 'ping ping' sound she'd heard. She watched him perform the art, twisting his arms and legs as he maneuvered the weapon around with great skill. 

Suddenly she felt those black eyes on her. 

"You must be Wufei," she called. 

"I am. And I am also too busy to talk to a woman." 

Grey eyes narrowed. "Is that so? Wielding that stick doesn't look too difficult, so you can't be all that busy." 

Wufei met her gaze again. "Is that a challenge?" He closed his eyes, sneering. "I don't fight women." 

"Are you afraid?" she threw back at him. 

His head snapped up but he calmed his anger with a smirk. "Come on in then and I will accept that challenge." 

Determined, Kasai swung open the door to the right of the window and stepped onto the padded floor. Wufei chose another rapier from off the wall. 

"You hold this end." 

"I know that!" she huffed and took it from him. 

The metal handle was cool in her small hand and not very reassuring. She had a small idea about how skilled this boy was and no idea how nice. 

"Ready?" he asked, putting a few feet between them. 

"Yeah. Don't go easy on me." 

"I am an honorable fighter, woman," Wufei said as they touched swords to begin the fight. "I expect you to be honorable as well." 

"Right. And my name's Kasai." 

Kasai lunged at him experimentally and their rapiers clanged together. 

"Impressive," Wufei said, grinning, their faces close. "But weak." 

He broke their connection, making Kasai stumble back. She regained her balance, coming at him again. With a laugh, Wufei twirled aside. His blade caught underneath Kasai's, flipped it out of her hand and into his. Caught off guard, Kasai went into a tumble, landing on her knees and turning swiftly around just to meet her own rapier at her throat. 

The American girl froze, eyes locked with Wufei's face. 

"You left yourself open," he admonished, holding the cool blade just under her chin. "You're dead by an enemy." 

"But you're not an enemy," she said between gritted teeth. 

"Are you so sure of that?" He took the rapier away and she let her breath out in a rush just to find he was handing it back to her. "Again?" A black eyebrow arched expectantly. 

She stood slowly; her hand closed around the handle. She nodded. 

*** 

Trowa heard Duo just before he entered the kitchen, Quatre and Heero following. He glanced calmly at them over the paper. 

"Kasai's fighting Wufei." 

"W-what?!" Duo sputtered. "_Now?_" 

"But why?" asked a surprised Quatre. 

"They're in the padded room," the tall boy told them. He watched Duo tear down the hallway, Quatre on his heels, and focused his revealed eye on Heero. "Are you going?" 

"I'm going to make sure they don't kill each other. Why didn't you stop them?" 

"And face Wufei's wrath?" A shadow of a smile. "No way." 

Heero joined Duo and Quatre at the window, stopping them from going inside and breaking the fight up. "Let them finish," he said and the three of them surveyed the combat. 

Wufei attacked first this time and Kasai widened her stance to block his rapier. Instead he flipped over her head and landed in a crouch, knocking her feet from under her. She landed roughly, making two of their audience wince, and retaliated just as swiftly. 

Their blades clashed against each other furiously, seeming to draw sparks. Sweat dripped from their foreheads and made the floor slippery. Kasai gained the upper hand, advancing and pushing her opponent to the far end of the room. She grinned in triumph but Wufei locked their rapiers together and shoved her away. 

"Better," he admitted, wiping his brow. "But not good enough." He charged. "One," - thrust - "should," - lunge - "never" - parry - "gloat." In one swift movement, Wufei's sword crashed into Kasai's. Hers flew out of her hand and thudded against the far wall. Wufei raised his arm back and stabbed. 

"My gods," whispered Duo, not believing what he just saw. "He -" 

"Watch," Heero instructed, staring at the scene. 

Kasai looked down at the rapier embedded in her shirt. Her breath came out shallow and jittery. The blade had passed between her arm and side, never touching her skin. 

"You have much to learn," Wufei told her. 

She looked up, a faint snicker appearing on her lips. "You'd be surprised." With a yell, Kasai slid up to the hilt, starling Wufei. She twisted the rapier from his grasp and jerked it out of her shirt. At the same time her elbow connected with the boy's jaw, sending him reeling. A second later, he found himself flat on his back, legs and arms pinned. The air was pushed out of his lungs by Kasai's weight and cold metal pressed up against his throat. 

"Death by an enemy," she breathed in his ear. 

"Go ahead," he managed to get out. His black eyes slid close. 

The weight lifted off of him, the metal retreated, and he could move again. Surprised, he looked up into Kasai's grey eyes. 

"I'm not an enemy," she said softly. She leaned down, offering him her hand. He stared at it for a moment, then put his own hand in hers, and she helped him up. "It was just a lucky punch." 

Wufei shook his head. "You won fairly." 

"Actually _you_ could have finished me off dozens of times." She grinned. "I demand a rematch, this time for real." 

The Chinese boy's gaze softened and he gave a little smile back. "It would be my pleasure to fight you again." 

"Wow!" exclaimed Duo, bounding into the room. "That was awesome! Where'd you learn to do that, Kasai?" 

"The school I went to offered a beginners course so I took it." She shrugged. "Other than that, I was just mimicking what I saw Wufei do." 

Heero's feet padded softly on the floor. "It's time to go to bed. Remember what we have to do in the morning." 

"What's going on in the morning?" asked Kasai. 

"Nothing that concerns you." 

"Exams," Duo cut in hastily to explain. "Our exams are early in the morning. We'll be back before you even wake up." 

"Oh. Ok." Kasai turned to Wufei, giving him the rapier. "Another night then?" 

"Aa. I look forward to it." 

"Well, goodnight, everybody." Hands clasped behind her back, Kasai strolled out of the padded room. 

Duo and Wufei watched her leave and then turned to Heero. 

"I've already informed Trowa of our mission," he said flatly. "It's the easiest we've had in awhile. We'll leave in five hours. I suggest you use that time to rest." 

*** 

In a dark corner of the hall, unseen by the others, a shadowed figure breathed heavily. He gasped for air, a hand clutched at his chest, and the pain too slowly began to fade away. Quatre raised his head; pain-filled eyes surveyed Kasai as she enter her room and shut the door. 

_She's connected to this pain. I know she is._   
  


_******_

Wufei was going easy on her. ^_^ 


	5. Decision to Live

_I meant to get this out sooner. Gomen gomen..._****   
  


**Chapter 5: Decision to Live **   
  


_If I could understand _

_why I feel this burning in me_

_I would not have to flee_

_future, please let me see_

_If only I could . . ._   
  


The five pilots were gathered in the kitchen when Kasai walked in. She flashed them a smile and headed to the refrigerator. 

"The exams go well?" she asked, searching for leftovers. 

"What ex--" began Quatre but Duo's elbow in his side cut him off. 

"Piece of cake," the chestnut-haired boy said, snapping his fingers. "Weren't they, Quatre?" 

"Aa," he mumbled, rubbing his side. 

"Right," Kasai said slowly. By now she'd gotten used to the boys' strange behavior. 

Heero shut his laptop with a click and stood. "You slept in today." 

A reddish eyebrow raised. "The great Heero speaks without being spoken to?" inquired Kasai, grinning. "Actually, I've been up for awhile now. I went into town and picked up a few things I needed." She eyed the computer tucked under his arm. "Could I borrow that?" 

"What for?" 

"Just checking some email. Is that ok?" 

"Yeah." He handed it to her. 

"See you guys later!" She waved a hand and hurried to her room. 

*** 

Kasai bent over the laptop, fingers running over the keys as she typed. Using codes that had been given to her, she confirmed that Heero's computer was secure and untraceable. She held her breath and pressed enter. 

"I'm in," she whispered to herself, stretching before beginning the process. Still in a whisper, "This is Agent 401 trying to contact OFRMS. I repeat: this is Agent 401 trying to contact OFRMS. Come in, Incor." 

"Agent 401," came a voice from the laptop and Kasai sighed in relief. "It's been a long time since you reported." 

"I know, Incor. I haven't been able to find a secure enough line." 

"Is this line secure?" 

"Yes, I believe so. I can't talk long though." 

"What do you have to report?" 

Kasai picked up a few papers laying beside her. "Not much. The only mobile suits I've been able to find are at the abandoned base zero-zero-eight outside Tokyo. I believe they're in good enough shape." 

"Good work, Agent 401. I'll send a team out there immediately. Is that all?" 

"Yes, Incor." She hesitated. "I don't think I'm gonna be able to find any more mobile suits in the surrounding area." 

"Then we'll send you further south. Head there and contact us when you arrive." 

Kasai bowed her head. _I have to transfer already? But . . ._ She should've known she couldn't stay in one place. She should've remembered before letting Duo . . . 

_Letting Duo what?_ she wondered. _Get attached to me? _

_Get myself attached to him is more like it. I should've known . . ._

"Agent 401?" 

"I understand, Incor. Over and out." She closed the laptop with a soft 'click.' 

"I knew there was something more about you." 

Kasai whipped her head around to meet a pair of cold eyes. "What do you want, Heero?" 

The Japanese boy stepped in the room. "I want to know what OFRMS is." 

"It isn't any of your business." 

A glint of steel caught Kasai's eye. "Omae o korosu." 

Fear flashed through her but she forced herself to lay the laptop aside and slide slowly off the bed. Something in his eyes told her that he _could_ shoot her. That he _would_ shoot her at a moment's notice. 

"'I will kill you.' That's what you mean, isn't it? You don't need that, Heero. I'll tell you what you want to know if you put it away." 

"Fine." The gun vanished and he crossed his arms, waiting for her to explain. 

"OFRMS stands for the Organization For Reforming Mobile Suits. It's a company that finds old mobile suits left over from the wars and rebuilds them. I'm one of their Agents. I scout out areas for mobile suits and contact them when I've found some." She shrugged. "I've been working for OFRMS since I was 15." 

"Rebuilding mobile suits? What for? The wars are over." 

"OFRMS rebuilds them for whatever purpose they have in mind. Agents aren't informed of that purpose. But I _have_ been told that the weaponry is never made operational," she added pointedly. 

"I don't buy that." 

"Believe whatever you want, Heero," she snapped. "This doesn't concern you. Besides, I'm sure you heard that I'm leaving soon. Bet you're happy." 

"OFRMS can't be rebuilding old mobile suits for nothing," Heero said, ignoring her sarcasm. "There's more to it than that. I'll find out what one way or another." He uncrossed his arms and left the room. 

Anger having drained, Kasai collapsed onto the bed. An arm covered her grey eyes that she tightly squeezed shut. She'd leave at first light. That was the only thing she could do. 

Her hand tightened into a fist and slammed into the bed. Kasai had transferred hundreds of times. Abandoned everything to move to another location. Left behind temporary homes and broken new friendships. 

So why did this time hurt worse than all the others? 

There was a soft knock at the door and a muffled voice said, "Kasai? It's me. Quatre." 

"Come on in," she said without moving. 

The door creaked open and for a moment, the blonde boy didn't say anything. 

"What is it, Quatre?" 

"Heero said you . . ." He grew silent then cleared his troat. "Is it true?" 

"Yeah." 

"Why didn't you tell us?" 

Kasai sat up with a weary sigh. Blonde locks hid Quatre's face so she wouldn't see how upset he was. 

"Everyone has their secrets, Quatre. This one happened to be mine." 

"Heero will kill you if there's more to it than just fixing mobile suits." 

"I know. He already told me." She stared at him. "Are you worried about me? Quatre?" 

His eyes burned with tears. "Yeah. Heero doesn't bluff." 

"I know," she restated. "But there's _not_ more to it than that. Oh, Quatre! I don't want to leave! But I have to. Please believe me when I say I didn't mean to hurt you or anybody else." 

"I believe you!" he said with such conviction and before she knew it, he'd thrown his arms around her neck. 

_What's this?_ she thought, feeling unfamiliar moisture on her cheeks. _Tears? I haven't shed tears in a long time. Did Quatre do this to me?_

She quickly wiped them away and pulled back from the boy. His blue eyes shined brightly until he lowered his head again. 

"Duo heard what Heero said too, Kasai and - and he grew mad." 

"Mad at me?" 

"Hai," Quatre whispered. "He ran into his room and wouldn't come out. I - I think he's really angry. And hurt to. Maybe . . . maybe you should go talk to him. I know how close you two are. He - he wouldn't listen to me, Kasai." 

She nodded solemnly. "Which way is his room?" 

"Down past the fencing room. Take your first right, then left, and it's on the left." 

Thanking the boy, she touched his cheek and hurried out of the room. Duo mad? That was a new one. She didn't think the happy-go-lucky boy had an angry streak in him. 

She reached the door Quatre had directed her to. It was cracked open, a dim ray of light falling across the hall. Duo knelt on the middle of the floor, cross-legged. Chestnut hair spilled over his bare shoulders and feathered the floor in a wave of color, released from its usual braided constraint. As she watched, his hands glided up to separate the locks, swiftly weaving them together. Then he cursed, ripped the half-braid apart, and cupped his chin in one hand. 

"Duo?" she called hesitantly and his back straightened stiffly. 

"I don't want to talk to you right now," he said in a strained voice. 

"Duo, please just let me -" 

"I said I don't want to talk to you!" 

Kasai took a step back, alarmed at his outburst. Her eyes narrowed and she slipped between the crack, moving silently toward him. She stopped an arm's length behind him, stretched out a hand to touch those tantalizing waves. Silk brushed her fingertips and, feeling bolder, she buried her fingers beneath the color. She ran her hand down the length of silk, her fingertips lightly grazing Duo's skin underneath. She felt him shudder and cried out when he grabbed her wrist and yanked her in front of him. 

"What are you doing?" he hissed. 

"I - I'm sorry," she stuttered, breaking out of her trance. "I - I was just - I mean . . ." She looked away from his intense violet stare, suddenly feeling very foolish. "I'll go now." She tried to move away but Duo still held her wrist. Confused, she started to speak but he silenced her with his hand over her mouth. 

"I don't want any excuses, Kasai," he said in a low voice more serious than she'd ever heard him speak before. "But I want the truth. Do you work for OZ?" 

Her frightened grey eyes widened and she shook her head. 

"Is OFRMS using the suits for military purposes?" 

Kasai shook her head again. Why was everyone so uptight about her job at OFRMS? 

"While I have you silent," he continued. "I want you to know something: I'm not just a goofy guy with a braid and a continuous grin. You can go now, if you wish. I won't stop you." He released her mouth and wrist but something compelled Kasai not to go. All her life she'd been running and for once she wanted to stay . . . 

"Duo . . ." the word came out pained. 

"Just go, Kasai." 

She bowed her head. "No." 

Violet eyes narrowed. "Ok then. Don't." He turned away, still cross-legged. She watched from behind him as he tried to braid the chestnut locks again. The strands kept slipping away and knotting and he let out another curse. 

"Here. Let me help." Kasai crawled closer and put her hands on his hair. 

He elbowed her away, frowning. "I can braid my own damn hair, Kasai." 

"Would you just shut up and let me do it?" 

His mouth closed with a snap and, with an angry look, he swung back around. 

She gathered the chestnut silk together, trying to ignore how soft it was. She tried to ignore the warmth of the boy inches away and focus on braiding. The muscles of Duo's back rippled and bunched when her fingers accidentally came in contact and his breathing became irregular. She finished the long braid and used his tie to end it in a curl of hair. Instead of moving away, she let her fingers brush against his back. Thoughts raced through her mind. A million warnings going off all at once. And yet . . . 

And yet her fingers flattened against his searing hot skin, her palm roaming over his smooth shoulder, trailing back up his spine. She leaned forward just a bit, pressing her lips to his toned shoulder. 

"Kasai . . ." he whispered. "What . . ." 

His voice shocked her into reality of what she was doing. She gasped and jumped to her feet, running out the door before Duo could say a word. 

*** 

_You're such a fool, Kasai! What were you thinking? That you can forget what just happened back there? That you can tell yourself you didn't feel anything. That - that _*he* _didn't feel something?_

She let out a frustrated sound, entering her bedroom. She quickly changed into her nightgown, the cotton fabric coming to rest at her thighs. She let down her deep red hair, it spilling across her shoulders, and stared at her reflection in the mirror. 

_I can't go on like this! I just can't! I've - I've got to take control of my life._

She spied Heero's laptop laying on the bed. Taking a deep breath, she pressed the power button. The computer hummed to life, casting a green light over the room. 

"This is Agent 401," she stated. "Contacting OFRMS. Come in, OFRMS." 

"Agent 401. Two reports in one day?" 

"Incor, I haven't contacted you to report another mobile suit location." 

"Then what is it, Agent 401? Have you been discovered?" 

"It's not that." She closed her eyes, ensuring herself that this was the right decision. "I'm transmitting my resignation statement." 

"Resignation?" 

"Yes, Incor. I do not wish to continue serving OFRMS." 

The voice didn't answer at first, then, "Are you sure?" 

"Yes." 

"Very well. OFRMS confirms your resignation." The voice paused. "Do you wish to know -" 

"Yes, Incor." 

"OFRMS rebuilds the mobile suits to sell them to collectors around the world as well as in the colonies. The armory is never made functional and the collectors only display them. That is all I can tell you." 

"Thank you," she whispered. _So I didn't help bad guys after all._

"If that is all, you will not be able to contact us again. Your code has now been erased successfully. Go in peace, Kasai Summer." 

"Go in peace, Incor. Over and out." She shut the laptop with a click. There. Her life was her own now. Her name engraved on the corner of her sheet caught her eye and she traced the word with a finger. 

"You quit?" Duo said from the doorway. 

"Yeah." Shyness washed over her; embarrassment tainting her ears with crimson. She folded her arms protectively around herself, sitting in a chair by the dresser. "Duo, I -" 

His sudden presence behind startled her. "You did a good job." 

"W-what?" 

"With the braid." 

"Oh." 

Silence settled over the both of them. Uncomfortable and tense. Kasai stared at her fists clenched in the folds of the nightgown, and she found herself nervously wishing the cloth was ankle length. 

A slight pressure settled on her hair. 

"Duo?" 

"Just . . . don't speak," he said in her ear. 

Kasai blinked but nodded slowly. Duo's hands touched her hair, soft and caressing through the strands. She shivered when she felt velvety fingertips skim her back and explore the tender inside of her arm leaving scalding heat in their wake. Her eyes drifted close, entranced by the feel of skin against skin. When she opened them, Duo had knelt in front of her. 

"I - I -" she stammered, fear bubbling up inside her. A soft thumb ran beneath her eye, wiping tears she didn't even know were there. Duo's hands settled on her legs as he leaned forward, tilting his head up. 

Gentle lips met her own hesitantly, searching. Warmth spread through Kasai's body, not believing what was happening and yet meeting his next kiss halfway. Duo caressed her thighs, pressing against her; his tongue ran over her bottom lip. 

Frightened, Kasai put a hand on his chest and pushed him away. "Duo, I - I can't -" Flushing, she put her hands over her face. "I'm sorry, Duo, but -" Hot tears flowed freely down her cheeks. 

_These boys make me soft. I knew it._

Duo gently removed her hands. "Was it something I did?" 

"No, no. It's me. I - I just never . . . Please understand," she pleaded weakly. 

"I do, Kasai." He flashed a grin, trying to make her feel better. "Come on," he said, taking her hand and standing. "Let's get you into bed." 

She nodded and let him tuck the covers around her like a child. He sat on the edge, wiping her tear-stained face again. 

"I'm so confused, Duo," she mumbled. 

"Same here, Kasai, same here." He moved the reddish locks and bent to kiss her forehead. "I want to be with you." 

"I . . . I want to be with you too. That's - that's why I quit OFRMS." 

He squeezed her hand and stood. "We'll talk more in the morning." 

"Duo?" 

"Yeah?" he said, pausing. 

"Would . . ." She blushed again. "Would you stay with me?" 

A wide grin spread across his face and he shed his shoes and slipped beneath the covers. Kasai snuggled against him, wrapped in his embrace, and never once regretted her decision. 

*** 

_Don't worry. Thing's are about to heat up - not THAT way! ::grin::_


	6. I . . . am . . .

**Chapter 6: I . . . Am . . .**   
  


_If I could be strong,_

_to you I would stand up_

_and drink heavily from memory's cup,_

_take my wings and fly up and up_

_If only I could . . ._   
  


Kasai squinted against the bright sunlight, smiling as it warmed her face. An arm encircled her waist loosely and she squirmed out of its grasp to face the owner. Duo murmured in his sleep, snoring softly. She bent and kissed him lightly on the cheek before slipping out of bed. 

_Oh, Duo. This feels so right being with you._

She let her gown fall to the floor as she stepped into the bathroom adjoining her bedroom. The facets squeaked loudly against her hand and the hot water brought welcomed relief. Kasai relished the soothing feel of the droplets falling on her uplifted face, enjoying her shower. 

*** 

Heero opened the bedroom door when no one answered his knock. His cobalt eyes widened a little in surprise when he spied Duo's sleeping form in Kasai's bed. _Duo no baka._ Sharp ears picked up the sound of running water and a half ajar door came into view. 

Maybe now he could get the answers he wanted, answers that might help him find _them_. 

Without another thought, he walked into the bathroom. 

*** 

Kasai turned off the water and reached out a hand for her towel. She dried her face, her wet hair slick against her shoulders. She wrapped the towel around herself, stepped out of the shower, and was met with the end of a gun barrel. 

"Heero!" 

"I want to talk to you," he said flatly. 

Kasai clutched the towel around her slim form tighter, feeling her anger rise along with her fear. "Can't it wait?" 

"No. Tell me what OFRMS wants with mobile suits." 

"Heero!" she cried desperately. "OFRMS only rebuilds them and then sells them to collectors! Why won't you believe me?" She remembered something Duo had said. "And it doesn't have anything to do with OZ." 

"How do you know about the OZ Organization?" 

"Duo asked me if OFRMS was connected with them. Is - is it OZ that you're afraid of?" 

"Afraid? I am not afraid of anyone." 

"Yeah right," she scoffed, feeling giddy with the gun still trained on her. "All you guys are so afraid that I'll find out about whatever it is you're hiding. And I know you're hiding something, Heero! I know you are!" She grabbed the barrel of the gun, shoving it away. "I'm tired of your empty threats so stop pointing that gun at me and get out." 

"Kasai -" 

"Get out!" she screamed at him. "Take your gun and your secrets and leave me alone!" 

Startled, Heero stood frozen until Duo's wakening yawn made its way through the door. He regarded her for a moment and then backed out of the bathroom. 

Kasai gasped for breath, suddenly not able to get enough air. A sharp pain unlike anything she'd ever felt before speared her chest. She doubled over, clasping her hands over her heart, and fell to the floor. 

*** 

Quatre thudded against the wall, breathing heavily. The pain . . . The pain was so agonizingly great this time. W-why . . ? Why was this happening? Why did his heart hurt so much? 

A thought struck him. 

_Kasai_. 

*** 

She got to her feet, light-headed and dizzy. That incredible knife in her heart had faded to a dull ache enough for her to grab her clothes and slip them on. A chill crept up her spine, beckoning her to shiver violently. The bed was empty of Duo's form and she yanked the thin sheet off it and pulled it around herself. 

No one was in the hall either. Nor the kitchen. 

_I need help . . . Where is everyone? Something's wrong . . . with me . . . And - and with Quatre . . ._

Her grey eyes widened. _Quatre? How - how do I know that? _

_***_

"Duo!" cried Quatre as the Deathscythe pilot walked past him in the hall. "Where's Kasai? Have you seen her?" 

Duo gave the blonde boy a funny look. "She _was_ in the shower but she wasn't in there a minute ago. I figured she went to get breakfast. Why, Quatre? What's wrong?" 

"Everything." Quatre gasped, crumpling against the other boy. Duo stared into his ashen face. A chill ran down his spine. _Something is very wrong here!_

"What's going on?!" Duo yelled, supporting the teen. 

"Pain," mumbled Quatre. "Kasai's in . . . pain . . ." 

"A-are you sure?" 

Quatre sagged wearily against him, only able to nod as another wave hit him. 

"We have to find her!" Duo shook the poor boy. "Dammit! WE HAVE TO FIND HER!!!!" 

***__

Thunder rumbled outside, shaking De Conte like a living animal. Kasai flung open the front door; fierce wind blew sheets of rain against her, her loose hair flailing about her face. 

_My heart hurts so much . . ._

The rain would help. The rain washed everything away. 

Then she was running outside, away from the mansion, away from everything. Mud sloshed up between her bare toes and the edges of the blanket became soiled and heavy. Red softness flattened against her head, soaked with sweet rainwater. 

The ground kept sloping downward beneath her feet. Her legs threatened to give away and pitch her into the mud. She couldn't stop running through the trees; tears mixed with rain on her face. 

_So much pain._

She clutched at her chest; her feet slipped in a puddle. There was a sense of falling and welcomed blackness overtook her. 

*** 

The bike zoomed along the road, sloshing through standing rainwater. The heavy clouds still wept above the rider and wet, platinum-blonde hair fell against the back of his soaked jacket. A black biker helmet concealed his face. Darkness would be falling soon and he hoped to return home before then. He sped onward, up toward the hills where his cabin lay alone in the midst of sheltering trees. 

The shadow of a shape loomed on the side of the road a good ways ahead. A ghostly form with blood spilling behind. He road closer, making out the shape to be a young girl; the blood was her unbound hair. 

Slowing, he pulled up behind her and as he stopped, she crumbled to the ground. He caught her before she fell, the white sheet around her drenched body swirling about like a shroud. Her grey eyes stared blankly ahead and her forehead radiated a feverish heat. 

Sweeping her thin self into his arms, the man place her carefully on the bike and hurried further into the mountains. 

*** 

Candlelight flickered under her eyelids and spots danced across her vision. Slowly, unsure they could stand greater light, two grey eyes slid open and hurriedly shut again. Flashes of pain beat against her forehead, behind her eyes. 

Silk rested under her and around her. The girl tentatively moved a few muscles, moaning when the tiny movement brought more stabs of pain. 

"Here, drink," some unseen, muddled voice said and a cool liquid splashed over her chapped lips. She drank deeply, not caring that it wasn't water. Immediately the soreness in her limbs melted away to a dull throbbing and her eyes ventured to open again. 

She lay in a large, canopied bed covered in silken white sheets that kissed her bare skin. Her hair was matted around her in ripples and she dared to raise up. Pain met her halfway but she forced herself off the pillow and into a sitting position, grasping a sheet around her nakedness. 

A man sat in a chair beside the bed, long legs crossed. Hair so blonde it was almost white framed stunning aqua eyes and fell neatly to his waist. 

"Where . . ." the word came out scraped and hollow. She cleared her throat and tried again. "Where am I?" 

The man's mouth turned up in a smile. "My home," said the voice she'd heard earlier. A voice gruff and yet pure at the same time. "You had quite a rough time for awhile with fever and have been unconscious for nearly a week now. I am glad you are finally awake." 

"But . . . where are my clothes? I . . . had . . . clothes on . . . didn't I?" 

"You were dressed in rags when I found you." 

"Rags?" she asked uncertainly. "But why?" 

His brow furrowed. "You do not know why?" 

"No. I . . ." She faltered, staring down at the bed. "I don't remember anything." 

"Not even your name?" 

"No. Oh gods." Her legs drew up and she buried her face against them. "I don't know who I am." She felt a light touch on her bare shoulder and looked up into the man's kind face. 

"Let me get you some of my clothes and we will talk." 

She nodded. A few minutes later she was dressed in a red shirt and white pants, both too big for her. She inhaled their scent: vanilla and aftershave. 

"Thank you," she said softly. 

"I will buy something that fits on my next trip into town." He sat back in the chair with a small cloth and basin of water. "Your cut needs to be cleaned again." 

The girl's hand flew to her forehead, feeling the large gash there. No protest rose to her lips when he dabbed the cool cloth against her forehead. His warm breath fanned her face, lulling her eyes to drift close. "There. It will heal up soon." 

"Thank you," she whispered again. 

"It is the least I can do," he said. He rose and pulled out a ragged white sheet and sat down again. "You were wrapped in this when I found you. It has a word printed on the corner. The Japanese word for 'fire'. Do you know what it means?" 

The girl's thumb traced the five embroidered letters with a sense of hope. "Maybe . . . maybe it's my name. I have this feeling that - that it _is_." Her grey eyes blinked when the man's slender hand reached out to her. 

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Kasai," he said. 

Her breath caught in her throat and for the first time, a quiet smile graced her face. Her own tiny hand shook his. "And you are . . ." 

"Mirialdo. Mirialdo Peacecraft." 


	7. Past and Now Secrets

**Chapter 7: Past and Now Secrets**   
  


_If I could belong somewhere,_

_no secrets, please invade my mind,_

_to him who is oh so kind,_

_I feel blind, let me be blind,_

_If only I could . . ._   
  


She awoke to the smell of something cooking and stretched the sleep from her sore muscles. Suddenly she jerked up, eyes wide and afraid. _Where . . ._ She touched a hand to her head in confusion. _I'm in that man's house . . . Mirialdo Peacecraft. And my name's Kasai._

Last night flooded back to her, how the kind man had insisted she take the bed and he'd sleep downstairs on the couch. He'd taken care of her, treated her wounds, helped her like a saint. Her fingers trailed the edge of the red shirt; he'd also given her his own clothes to wear. 

_He's so kind to me . . . and he doesn't even know who I am. _*I*_ don't even know who I am._

Carefully, she swung her legs over the edge of the bed, grimacing at the new pain of putting weight on her bare feet. She took a few timid steps forward and when her legs held her, she creaked open the door. 

More good-smelling foods assaulted her nose and her stomach rumbled. Outside the door, a wide staircase arched to the downstairs room. A fire crackled in the hearth and she could hear someone moving around out of site beneath the balcony. Grasping the railing for support, she moved down the stairs. When she stepped off the bottom, the same man from last night walked around the corner and stopped when he saw her. 

"Good morning, Kasai," he said warmly. "I did not think you would get out of bed for a few more days." 

Kasai stared down at her bare feet. "I - I feel better now, M-Mr. Peacecraft." 

"Call me Mirialdo, please," he insisted. "Here, may I help you to the table?" 

"Thank you." Shyness washed over her as his arm slid around her waist and eased her into the chair. They ate their meal in silence until Mirialdo spoke. 

"Have you remembered anything of your past?" 

Kasai put down her fork. "I had a dream that - that I could fly." She looked away embarrassed but Mirialdo only waited patiently for her to continue. "I had these silver wings. Like - like two silver flames sprouting out of my back. I flew up into the sky and I felt like I was searching for someone. Then the wings faded away and I was stranded on the ground looking up at that someone who was in the sky. And - and I couldn't reach. Pretty stupid, huh?" 

His aqua eyes closed. "Not at all. Maybe you are remembering someone you knew. I have dreams too. About someone I lost." He opened his eyes and smiled. "If you are finished with your meal, I would like to show you around my cabin." 

Kasai nodded and followed him around the small house. Besides the bedroom, bathroom, tiny kitchen, and living room, there really wasn't much else. The rooms were decorated sparsely. Not many pictures or paintings hung on the walls, only the necessary furniture. Apparently Mirialdo lived alone. 

"What does that lead to?" Kasai asked suddenly, pointing at a door. 

"Not anywhere important." He lowered his head. "For your own good, I suggest you stay out of that room." 

"Oh." 

Mirialdo took her hand and led her away from the door. "I am leaving for town and will be back just after dark. Will you be fine here alone?" He raised a slender eyebrow. 

"Yeah," she insisted. "I feel much better now since I've walked around." 

"Then I leave now without worry." He picked up his jacket and moved to the front door. 

"Mirialdo?" 

He paused. "Yes, Kasai?" 

"I - I want to thank you for everything you've done for me." 

"I did what anyone would have done." 

She shook her head. "You're so kind to me." 

"Well," he smiled and bowed slightly at the waist. "I thank you." He straightened and, with a wave of his hand, disappeared outside. 

Kasai walked to the window and watched him ride away on his bike. 

_He trusts me,_ Kasai thought, standing in front of the door he'd told her not to go into. _And I'll respect that._

Glancing around the cabin, she lay down on the couch to wait for her rescuer to return. 

*** 

When Mirialdo entered his cabin, he found Kasai sitting on the floor, opened photo albums spread out before her. She blushed furiously, scrambling to her feet. 

"I - I -" 

"It's alright." He set down the packages in his arms, bent, and picked up one of the albums. A picture fell out of it and drifted to his feet. Kasai scooped it up and peered at the smiling yellow-haired girl. The albums had been filled with her. 

"Old girlfriend?" 

"No," he said quietly. "She was my sister. She died four years ago." 

"Oh. I'm sorry. Is . . is ok if I ask how?" 

"She was assassinated." 

A chill settled around the room and even the fire couldn't break it. A harsh chill full of bitter sadness. 

Kasai swallowed. "Assassinated? By whom?" 

"Terrorists." That one word seemed to transport Kasai into the past. Screams tore around her. Screams of people being slaughtered. 

"They were a small, unnamed terrorist organization," Mirialdo continued, staring into the flames. "No more than a thorn in the Kingdom's side. I was only one out of a handful who knew about them and I should have done something. But I did not act and they attacked one night during my sister's sixteenth birthday party. She was killed, along with many of her friends. And my friends. I blame myself for not doing anything when I had the chance." 

"But you didn't know they would attack, Mirialdo," Kasai said. She put her cool hand over his warm one and he looked up into her face, eyes sad. "It's not your fault." 

"You are so innocent," he murmured and lifted a hand to stroke her face. "Promise me you will stay that way." 

Kasai felt tears escape and fall on her cheeks. She didn't understand what Mirialdo meant but nodded. "I promise." 

*** 

The days passed quickly, merging together into weeks. Kasai's wounds had long since healed but the emptiness in her mind remained. No matter how hard she tried, she still could not remember anything of who she was nor where she came from. The only thing she dared to be sure of was her name, Kasai. And she held onto that name desperately because it was all she had. 

Mirialdo Peacecraft was constantly at her side in both support and companionship. The platinum-blonde man was as much a mystery to her as she was to herself. But despite of his reluctance to speak of his own past, he slowly became less of a companion, and more of a friend. 

Some nights she'd wake up trembling, plagued by her wingless nightmare, and find him sitting at her side. Or she'd fall asleep by the fire, waiting for him to return from town and he'd carry her to bed. Whatever he did, he did it for her. And the only thing he ever asked in return was for her to never open that one forbidden door. 

Kasai honored his request until one day when Mirialdo was in town, as he often went. She was sipping a cup of cocoa and shifting through some more of his albums when she heard a creaking noise. She jerked her head up, knowing she was alone in the small cabin, and saw the door. It was cracked open and a soft glowing flickered on the floor like candlelight. 

She glanced at the front door, willing Mirialdo to come back and stop her before . . . Without realizing what she was doing, Kasai rose to her feet and came to stand in front of the cracked door. 

_This is wrong, _she told herself.And yet . . . and yet the cool knob met her slender hand and she pushed the door open. Several candles lit the small room, a golden shrine to - 

Kasai stepped hesitantly forward, drawn by the large pictures scattered along the walls and on tables. They were divided into sections, a number at the top of each. 

"01, 02, 03, 04, and 05," she whispered. "Who . . . who are these boys?" 

The glint of a panel on the wall caught her eye. Wondering what it was, she tapped a finger against it. Another door hissed, startling her, and swished open. She stared into the darkness, groped for a light switch, and flipped it. A hand flew up to shield her eyes against the brightness of flourescent lights overhead. She blinked a few times, lowering her hand slowly, and gasped. 

A huge - huge _something_ towered above her. It was white and had the form and look of a person. But it wasn't a person. White metal gleamed across its surface as it stood there, _loomed_ there silent and unmoving. 

Kasai took a step forward and alarms began blaring around her, flashing red warnings. Feeling the panic rise, she froze, unable to move. Just as suddenly as they started, the alarms were silenced. 

"It is a mobile suit." 

Kasai spun around. "Mirialdo! I'm sorry! I - I was just -" 

"Meeting Tallgeese," he cut her off gently. "I knew you would discover this place before long." 

"You - you did?" 

He chuckled softly, coming to stand beside her. "There is a connection somewhere that I just cannot figure out, Kasai. A connection between you and this." He swept a hand at the white suit. 

"I don't understand." 

"I think you will. Come," he said, looping her arm around his. "There is more." 

She nodded numbly. Mirialdo led her around Tallgeese, the ghostly pale thing standing guard above them. 

"Tallgeese is a mobile suit left over from the wars," he told her. "I piloted him myself." 

"But . . ." She hesitated. "Mirialdo, who are those five boys? The ones in the room before this one?" 

"The Gundam pilots. Five young men whom I fought with and against during the wars. Their mobile suits are the Gundams Wing Zero, Deathscythe, Heavyarms, Sandrock, and the Shenlong." 

"Numbers 1 through 5," Kasai muttered. 

"Yes. And Tallgeese was the prototype for their own Gundams. But there is another Gundam that no one still living knows about. No one except me." He pressed another panel. "And now you." 

Kasai stepped through the opening that appeared. 

It was a much smaller mobile suit than the Tallgeese, lithe and painted silver with red-tipped wings fanning out behind. An odd feeling spread over Kasai, a feeling she hadn't felt before. A feeling of belonging to something. 

"He's beautiful," she whispered. 

"_She_ actually," Mirialdo corrected, coming up behind her. "Her name is -" 

"Silverflame." Wide-eyed, Kasai turned and looked at him. "Her name is Silverflame, isn't - isn't it?" 

"How did you . . ." He smiled and nodded. "I see you already have a connection with her. Gundams seem to choose whom they will let pilot them. And she has chosen you, Kasai. Silverflame has never been piloted before." 

"Why hasn't she been piloted?" 

"Silverflame is Gundam Negative 01, meaning she came before the other Gundams, and the Tallgeese." 

"But how can that be? If Tallgeese is the prototype . . ." 

"The engineers who created the Gundams built Silverflame when the colonies first became threatened. But her cockpit was so small, not even their young pilots could fit inside and still have room to move. So she was scrapped, thrown out as space garbage. I found her and rebuilt her with parts from the Tallgeese." 

_Another Gundam? _Kasai thought. "If the wars are over, why have Tallgeese and Silverflame?" 

"My enemies still fight me," Mirialdo said, bowing his head. "They blame me for the terrorist attack and therefore I defend what I must to survive. I have hidden for many years but the time will come when I will defeat them." 

"Who are your enemies?" 

"The five Gundam pilots," he replied softly. 

Kasai turned away, staring up at the Gundam Negative 01. She had this ache deep inside her heart that told her she must join this fight. She had no clue how to pilot a mobile suit or if she had the strength. But Silverflame's wings called out to her. 

"Then, Mirialdo," she said quietly. "They will become my enemies as well." 


	8. Crossing Obstacles, Training Begins

**Chapter 8: Crossing Obstacles, Training Begins**   
  


_If I could do this,_

_and be possessed by that greater than I_

_gain balance and rise high,_

_forever you would be my sky,_

_If only I could . . ._   
  


"I do not want to involve you, Kasai." Mirialdo folded his arms, leaning against the wall. "You are a civilian." 

"But I want to help!" she protested. "I want to pilot Silverflame!" 

"You cannot possibly understand what responsibility comes with piloting a Gundam. Those five young men went through long, extensive training to be able to handle the system." 

"I can handle it!" Her hands balled into fists. "Right now I have no past, Mirialdo, and nothing to hold onto. But becoming a Gundam pilot may just be what I need! I can survive the necessary training. I know I can!" 

His hand on her head silenced her and his eyes were filled with so many emotions. "It will be hard for you." 

She nodded, determined. "And I accept every risk." 

"Alright then," he concluded, sighing. "I will train you." 

Her mouth turned up in a grin. "What's first?" 

"First?" inquired Mirialdo, straightening his shoulders. "Self endurance." 

"E-endurance? How do I learn that?" 

Not wanting to push this on her, but seeing no other way, he answered, "For the next two months you will do nothing but make your body get into shape. Run, swim, pull your own weight around and more. Rain, shine, sleet, or snow, you will stay outside sunup to sundown. Is that clear?" 

For a moment, Mirialdo thought the girl would back down but she put on a grim face, squared her shoulders. "Clear as day." 

*** 

The next morning, Kasai stepped outside and into a cold, numbing shower. 

_It *would* happen to rain today._

She set off down a path at a steady jog and gradually built speed until she was running. After only ten minutes, her thighs were burning; her arms hurt; her body begged her to stop. 

_I'm not quitting already. No way. I can do this! I can!_

She increased her pace. 

*** 

The weeks, months, wore on and seeing Kasai became a rare occurrence. She left early in the mornings, and came back in at night exhausted. Mirialdo watched her often from the window as she swam laps in the lake or sprinted around the cabin. Her reddish hair had grown long and she kept the nuisance back in a dangling braid wrapped in a ribbon. 

But whatever doubts of Mirialdo's had long since disappeared. In the appearing winter, he spent his time writing in his journal and recording the process of Kasai's training. 

_The first day went hard for her, _he wrote one evening. _But since then she has never ceased to amaze me with her stamina. Her persistence in achieving this goal has brought out a spark in her eyes I had not seen before. She does this for me, she says, but I know she does this for herself. Her memory loss troubles her constantly and I find I do not have the power to ease her pain. I do not have power in anything anymore._

_Kasai reminds me of my sister in so many ways. That determination and stubbornness I have grown fond of. And perhaps more than that. But I cannot forget what I am doing to her. I will take away her innocence and make her a soldier in a world that does not need soldiers anymore and yet perhaps fill a space in her heart that was empty before. And a space in my heart. But how can I be so selfish?_

He put down his pen, gazing out the window. Her slender form came into view, sweat slick and grimy. Her eyes were glazed from fatigueand cried weariness. 

"Kasai," he breathed softly. "Was it by chance that I met you? I do not believe it is. I am sorry for doing this to you. Maybe one day you will forgive me." 

He rapped his knuckle on the pane, attracting Kasai's attention. Breathing heavily, she came over to the window which he raised. 

"W-what is it?" 

"I want you to take a day off." 

"A day off? Mirialdo, I can't afford to do that." 

"After the day off," he continued. "I am going to show you the next level." 

"Next level?" 

"Yes." He smiled at her, resting his chin on steepled fingers. "The High Rise." 

*******

"Meet your new goal," Mirialdo announced with a sweep of his arm. Kasai's gaze traveled up. And up and up and up . . . 

"_This_ is my new goal?" She eyed the mismatch of beams and swings. "It looks like something out of the circus." 

He chuckled. "Actually, most of what you see came from the circus. And from several gymnasiums. This is the High Rise. Until you reach your goal, you will eat, sleep, and breathe in this room." 

"What is my goal?" 

"To get to the very top." 

Her mouth gaped open. "The _top_? But that's impossible!" 

"Perhaps. Though I want you to reach as far as you can." Walking over to a long beam not more than two feet above the ground, he continued. "The course begins at this point. When you are able to reach the top, you will be ready to step inside Silverflame's cockpit." The man clasped his hands behind him and strode to the door. "There is food and water by the wall, a pallet for sleeping also." He tapped a panel. "Call me when you are ready." 

"Uh, right." Kasai stepped over to the begin of the course, not noticing when Mirialdo slipped out of the large room. Uncertainly she placed one shoe on the short beam and climbed up. Her arms waved madly but she made it to the end where a pair of parallel bars stood. She eyed them, jumped for the nearest one, and missed. "Oof!" she let out as she landed on the thick matt. "That didn't work." Rubbing her behind, the girl got to her feet, and proceeded to start all over. 

*** 

Mirialdo watched her struggle with the first obstacle, falling off and getting back on, unable to hold her weight enough to swing herself up on the parallel bars. He chuckled when she lost her temper and started kicking at the bars and only injured her foot in the process. This course would teach her many things, he was sure. 

"Good luck, Kasai," he murmured. 

*** 

Sweat beaded on her forehead, trickling down the side of her brow and tickling her cheek as the shiny sparkle made its slow way to her jaw. The sparkle dripped and splashed loudly onto the plastic mat far below her dangling feet. A month. She had been encased in this "High Rise" room for a whole freakin' month and she had almost had enough. Mirialdo only appeared long enough to bring her food and water, never saying a word. 

_"But that's impossible!"_

Yes, it was impossible. She realized that now more than ever. What was Mirialdo trying to make her understand? That she wouldn't be able to pilot Silverflame? That - that she wasn't worthy? 

Splat. Another droplet fell onto the blue pond below. Kasai swung her feet back and forward, until the momentum was great enough to let her ankles reach the next bar. Groaning and with blood rushing to her head, she stretched out and hooked the backs of her knees onto the bar and then let go of the other. 

Now hanging upside down, she had a rather nice view of the sweaty mats below. The backs of her knees were growing slippery on the smooth, warm bar. But she was stuck now. _Damn. Not again._

It took only a few more seconds and her legs gave out. This was by far her greatest fall yet and she felt her ankle give out beneath her upon impact. Tearing another strip of cloth from her outfit, she bound her ankle like Mirialdo had shown her before. Then she straightened enough to be able to reach the lowest bar and climbed upon it again. 

The bars were easy to use without her weak ankle but the long beams caused her to stumble when she had to put weight on her foot. So she straddled the beam and scooted across instead, reaching the next set of parallel bars, the ones she had fallen off before. 

Splat. Sweat collected and dripped off her chin. She was stuck once more. 

This time landing in a less hurtful position, Kasai sprawled out on the mat, breathing in heavily. She heard Mirialdo enter the room and walk over to touch her shoulder. 

"I have seen enough," he said softly. 

She rolled over to stare up at him. "But -" 

"Let's go home." 

He smiled warmly and so she nodded, grasping his hand for support. She had failed miserably and yet . . . and yet Mirialdo didn't seem to care. Tomorrow she'd continue with her training outside as she did before and prove to herself that she was worthy. 

*** 

_Yes, I do realize that this is getting cliche-ish. Oooh! I SIXTH Gundam Pilot! ::hears the groans of g-boy fans:: So sorry. I tried to avoid it, but it couldn't be helped. However, if you think this entire fic will be full of cliches . . . weeellll . . . Heh, think again._


	9. Party of a Lifetime

**Chapter 9: Party of a Lifetime**   
  


_If I could wear a mask,_

_blackness curving from my face_

_a sense of hiding I could taste,_

_mysterious to plead my case_

_If only I could . . ._   
  


*Two Months Later* 

Kasai stepped out of the shower with a sigh, drying her hair with a towel. She stared into the full-length mirror at her reflection. Her eyes still looked . . . empty . . . but at least she could feel a sense of pride in herself for the first time since she woke up in the dense fog of her barren memory. 

Throwing on a robe, she walked downstairs. Mirialdo was reading by the fireplace and stood when she entered. 

"How would you like to go to a party?" he asked, smiling mischievously. 

"A party?" she echoed, searching the cabinets for something to eat. "When?" 

"Tonight." He caught her about the waist, pulling her to him. Startled, she stared up into his sparkling eyes and found things there she didn't understand. "It is a masque, actually." 

"But - but I don't have anything to wear!" 

His smile broadened. "When I was invited to the masque, I went into town and bought you this." He released her and, from the closet, produced a large box. He set it on the table. "I hope it fits." 

Kasai lifted off the top of the box and sucked in a sharp breath. "It - it's gorgeous!" she exclaimed, lightly touching the black fabric. 

"You had best hurry," Mirialdo said. "The masque begins soon." 

She nodded, clutching the box to her chest. "I'll be right down." She raced upstairs. 

Moments later, she again stood in front of the mirror in the bedroom. The gown fit perfectly, exposing her slim shoulders, caressing her wrists, hugging her waist, and draping across the floor like black silk. Out of the box she fetched dangling earrings and matching black shoes and hurried out of the room. 

"Hey, Mirialdo," she laughed, coming out onto the balcony. "The dress _did _fit after . . . all . . ." She faltered, suddenly speechless. 

Mirialdo was poised at the bottom of the stairs, white gloved hands tucked behind his back. His platinum-blonde hair was neatly swept back over his black tuxedo jacket that flared down to his calves. A sheer ruffle graced his neck and ended at his trim waistline. Kasai felt immensely shy under his adorning gaze and lowered her lashes as she came to stand before him. 

When she placed her trembling hand in his own strong one, he bent and pressed his warm lips to her skin. "You look beautiful," he whispered. 

"T-thank you," she stammered. "I just didn't know what to do with this mess." She indicated her long hair that swished and tickled her calves. "It's grown out long, ne? I guess I could put it into a ponytail or -" 

Mirialdo's hands on her hair silenced her. "I believe I can do something. Come sit." 

Swallowing hard, she nodded and sat sideways on the high-backed chair so her hair swung free. She felt his soft fingertips at her temple, sweeping the reddish locks back and gently manipulating them to crown her head. The twist and pull and warmth of his hands soothed her and beckoned her eyes to drift close. She felt him place a few pins in, shivering when light fingers fluttered against her neck and ended her hair in a long, cascading wave. 

A vision came to her, a feeling in her stomach like this was all familiar. Like someone else had touched her hair once too in such a tender way. 

_//"I want to be with you . . . Kasai . . ."//_ Someone had said that . . . someone from her past? 

Mirialdo leaned over and spoke in her ear, "Have I upset you?" 

Her eyes flew open, startled at the moisture clinging to her lashes. "No, I . . ." 

Black shoes clipped on the floor, moving from her lowered gaze. She looked up to see him opening a drawer and revealing a small, velvet case. 

"What's that for?" Kasai quipped as Mirialdo unlocked the case and pulled out a slender handgun. 

"Your protection," he answered softly. "May I?" 

"Uh, yeah," she nodded as he gently moved her hair and opened a concealed pocket in the back of her gown, tucking the weapon inside. Her hair easily disguised any indication that the small bulge was there. "But why?" 

"There is a good chance something might happen at the party tonight. I want you to be prepared. By the way," he said, halting in the doorway. "You will also need this. It is a masque, after all." 

"Perfect." She carefully took the mask from his palm and slipped the string around her head. The black feathers fanned out from her cheekbones and silver jewels surrounded her eyes. Mirialdo touched her cheek and then slipped his own plain white mask on. 

"Shall we go to the ball, Cinderella? If that is how the ancient fable goes." 

She laughed, tossing her head. "As long as I don't have to be home by midnight." Mirialdo chuckled with her as they walked out to a sporty black car. He helped her in and climbed into the driver's seat himself. 

Kasai clutched her hands in her lap to still their jitteriness. 

She knew this would be a night to remember. 

*** 

"Mission accepted," Heero muttered, closing the laptop with a soft 'click.' He looked at his fellow pilots. "We leave in two hours." 

They nodded, silent. Heaviness filled their hearts and glistened their eyes. 

"Heero," Quatre said quietly. "Must we?" 

"We don't have a choice in this mission," was the weary reply. 

"After four years . . ." Wufei muttered. "We have finally been reduced to this. Injustice." But the word was half-heartedly spoken. 

"Not reduced," Trowa said from the shadows. "The situation demands it." 

Quatre heaved a despondent sigh. "I wish it didn't." 

"Listen to us!" Duo blurted with a reckless laugh and they jumped. "Injustice? No choice? We get to fight in our Gundams again! We should be ecstatic!" 

"We swore never to use them again -" 

"Unless we had to!" the American interrupted, swinging his arms around. "And since we have to use them now, we might as well enjoy it!" He leapt over the furniture and dashed out the room, calling over his shoulder, "I don't know about you guys, but I'm gonna fire up Deathscythe and tell 'em the good news!" 

Wufei watched the boy's braid vanish in the direction of where their Gundams were hidden. He stood; a small smile appeared on his lips. "I am on my way, Nataku," he uttered and took off after Duo. 

Trowa looked back at Heero and Quatre, then shrugged. "It will be nice to fight with Heavyarms again." And he too left. 

"Well," said Quatre, his liquid eyes shining. "On to Sandrock?" 

Heero nodded, bringing a smile to the blonde boy's face. "We can't live in the past anymore, Quatre. Wing Zero agrees." He stood. "We had better make sure the weapon systems are operational." 

Quatre hesitated. "Will we have to use them? Heero?" 

"OZ will be there, Quatre. Of course we will." 

*** 

The sleek vehicle pulled to a stop and a luxurious-looking man stepped out, walked around to the passenger side, and opened the door. Any onlookers around would've stopped and whispered behind their hands, "Who is that young woman?" 

Kasai didn't mind the stares and the look in Mirialdo's eyes was enough to brush away all her worries. He bowed slightly, offered an arm, and they proceeded up the grand stairs. Grey eyes wide, she took in everything around her, feeling like a wallflower among roses. Unconsciously, she griped Mirialdo's arm tighter and suddenly she felt his breath in her ear. 

"See this as part of your training, if you wish," he said in a low voice. "Many people here are retirees from the wars, great soldiers, great enemies, in their time. Their backgrounds are discarded when in this dance hall and they go under false names as part of their little game. I do the same. You may want to as well. It is your choice." He smiled when she relaxed a little and inclined his head toward a couple talking at the other end of the room. "That man is Treize Kushrenada, former member of the Organization of the Zodiac, also known as OZ." 

"OZ?" echoed Kasai, eyed fixated on Treize. "I - I have heard of it before." 

Mirialdo turned a startled gaze to her. "You remember something, Kasai?" 

"I . . . no . . ." she whispered. "Just . . . a feeling I got." Her eyes blinked and she offered a grin. "Let's enjoy ourselves, ne? Tell me about that couple." 

He searched her face for a moment. "Treize will introduce himself as Mr. TC. The woman with him is Lady Une, also a lady with a past. Her loyalty to Treize caused her to have a split personality which she has fortunately overcome." 

"Which half won? The good half or the bad half?" 

He smiled a little. "I would rather say the better half won." 

"That's good." 

"Here they come. Remember, you do not have to give them any information about yourself if you wish." 

"Uh-huh," Kasai muttered nervously. 

"Zechs Merquise," a pleased voice chimed. "You have graced us with your presence after all." 

Mirialdo straightened at Kasai's side, laying a hand over hers. "Grace, TC? I merely felt that I should accept your invitation for once." 

Kasai studied the groomed man standing before her. Carefully styled hair swept over his ears and his manner reminded her somewhat of Mirialdo. Two beautiful men whose surroundings did them no justice. She felt the gaze of a god when Treize's sparkling eyes fell on her. 

"Zechs, you have forgotten to introduce me to the exquisite young thing on your arm." He smiled pleasantly and kissed the top of her hand. "My name is Mr. TC, my dear. Might I have your name?" 

"Negative," Kasai said, never missing a beat. "You may call me Miss Negative." 

"Well then, Miss Negative. How did you manage to drag this rogue here? It has been years since Zechs Merquise decided to join us at one of our little get-togethers." 

Kasai caught onto the rhythm of the OZ official's manner of conversation and replied smoothly, "You're being rude, Mr. TC, for not introducing me to beautiful woman on _your_ arm." 

Treize laughed good-naturedly. "I am, aren't I? This is Lady." 

Lady Une elbowed him. "TC takes advantage of my kindness. It is nice to meet you, Miss Negative." 

"And you," Kasai said. 

"Are you and dear Zechs -" 

Mirialdo cleared his throat, stepping in. "I believe dinner is being served." 

"That it is," Treize agreed. "Will you sit with us, Zechs? Miss Negative?" 

"Sounds delightful," Kasai accepted. The OZ official bowed and he and Lady moved further in the enormous hall. 

Mirialdo turned to Kasai, arching an elegant eyebrow. "Negative?" 

She shrugged then returned the questioning look. "Zechs Merquise? I didn't want to lie to them and I didn't, ne?" 

"No you didn't," he said, his voice suddenly turning soft. His aqua eyes twinkled as he threaded his fingers through hers and they found their table. 

*** 

If someone with a trained eye stared at the horizon that night, they might have spotted five dark shapes silently moving among the trees. They might have pondered what those five shapes were. Until moonlight shimmered across metal. 

And then a soldier might have recognized those shapes for what they were: mobile suits . . . 

And not just any mobile suits . . . Gundams . . . 

*** 

Dinner conversation, even with the pretty words, lacked detail at table 14. Once Treize realized Kasai had no intention of releasing information about herself, laughter took over the four of them. It was a merry swirl of wine and fine dining and Kasai found that the OZ official was a gentlemen in his own right and his Lady no less a lady. 

When the music started up and richly-dressed guests wandered onto the dance floor, Treize stood, excusing himself and Lady Une to mingle with the others. 

"Are you enjoying yourself?" Mirialdo asked, taking a sip from his glass. 

"Oh immensely!" Kasai gushed. "Everyone is so nice to me and I'm having a wonderful time." 

She almost glowed with excitement and brought a smile to Mirialdo's face. He watched the dancers glide across the floor then turned back to the young woman beside him. 

"Care to dance?" 

"Pardon?" 

His chair scraped against the floor as he stood and offered her his hand. "Would you like to dance with me?" 

"I - I don't know how," she stuttered. 

"It is easy." Against her protest, Mirialdo grasped her hand and pulled her out of the seat and onto the dance floor. 

"Mirialdo," she argued. "I told you, I don't -" 

"Then I will show you," he cut her off gently. She gulped as he guided her hand to his shoulder, placed a gloved hand lightly on her waist, and cupped her other hand in his. The corner of his mouth turned up. "We have to get closer." She found herself pressed up against him. "Dancing is like flying, Kasai. Only you're not alone." 

And then her feet were moving as he swept her among the sea of people and into the fast-paced tempo. She clutched him, breathless at the motion. The music filled her ears and seemed to pound to the same rhythm of her heart. Her midnight skirts swirled around her legs and his legs; their hair danced on the wind. 

For a brief flash, that strange feeling Kasai had felt before settled over her again. That feeling of deja vu, like she'd been dancing before . . . once upon a time . . . 

_//"Dancing is like flying, Kasai, only you're not alone."//_

Then the music gradually slowed and the feeling drifted away as before. Her eyes slid close and she leaned against the man who had done so much for her, feeling so content. Mirialdo curled their hands between them. 

"Kasai," he said softly, his voice dropping to almost a whisper. "I believe you are ready." 

Her eyes sprung open. Staring up at him, her mouth gaped then closed when she didn't know what to say. "F-for what?" she finally got out. 

"To pilot Silverflame." 

Her grey eyes widened. "You - you mean -" 

"You have worked hard for this, Kasai, and I will start teaching you to pilot her if you wish." 

"But - but I didn't reach the top of the High Rise!" 

"No matter," he said, shaking his head. "I told you that you had to be able to reach the top, not actually accomplish it, didn't I?" 

"I suppose you did." Laughing, she hugged him tightly. "Tomorrow?" 

"Tomorrow," he promised. 

She rested her head against his chest. _ I'm going to be a Gundam pilot . . . I'm gonna be a Gundam pilot!_   
  


*** 

_I heard once that OZ stood for "Organization of the Zodiac," which makes sense. ::shrug::_


	10. How the Night Ended

First of all, I really must say how very sorry I am that it took so long for me to get the next chapter out. As some of you already know, my computer crashed and I lost everything. I was lucky enough that this fic was saved because I had sent it to a friend online and my mailbox had a copy. Whew. I finally got my new computer in a few days ago, uploaded this story into it, edited this chapter, and then sent it out. The others most definitely won't take very long to get out. Again, gomen, but there wasn't anything I could do.   
  
  
  


**Chapter 10: How the Night Ended**   
  


_If I could tell_

_who you are, who are you?!_

_Help me understand this vital clue,_

_make the sky forever cloudless blue,_

_If only I could . . ._   
  


Mirialdo felt a rumbling in the soles of his feet, the tiniest vibration. Alarmed, he stopped dancing, ignoring the people bumping into him. 

"Mirialdo?" Kasai inquired, fear bumbling up inside her at the expression on his face. "What's wrong?" 

"Did you feel that?" His aqua eyes scanned the perimeter of the hall. 

"Feel what?" Kasai was about to ask but startled gasps spread like wildfire through the crowd and over to the couple. 

"A Gundam!" someone shouted. "The Gundams are here!" 

_The Gundams?_

It was as if one side of the hall just blew in and through the massive hole stepped the metal bulk of a Gundam. A chillness ran up Kasai's spine as Mirialdo grabbed her hand and jerked her out of the increasing hysterical mass of guests. 

"I have to get you out of here!" he yelled over their mixed screams and cries. 

"Why are the Gundams attacking, Mirialdo?! Why a masque party?!" 

He pulled her to him to talk quickly in her ear. "As you know, many of the guests here are former affiliates of OZ and other organizations tied together. And during the wars, OZ was their main enemy." 

"Their main enemy?" Kasai echoed, grasping his arm. "But that means they'll be after Mr. Treize!" 

"And myself," he agreed solemnly. "And you, if they knew you were training to become a Gundam pilot. With such a grand opportunity to rid the world of us, the five boys must have felt it was necessary to use their Gundams suits once again after my sister's death." 

She turned a startled gaze to him. "What does your sister have to do with this?" 

"Many of the pilots had ties with my sister and her friends. When they were murdered, the Gundams decided to put away their suits. But now it seems they have awakened." 

As if by his beckoning, another Gundam, black as death, burst through the other side of the hall, raining shards of glass and molding down upon Kasai and Mirialdo who was trying to shield her. They were blown off their feet and skidded up against the far wall. Most of the other guests had fled, leaving the two of them alone, facing the Gundams. 

Kasai looked down at Mirialdo who had taken most of the blast and then up at the two Gundams destroying everything in sight. Anger boiled deep and hot within her. "I'm not afraid you of," she whispered, managing to get to her feet. 

"No, Kasai." Mirialdo held onto her wrist, shining eyes pleading. "They will kill you." 

She gently removed his hand. "I'm not afraid." She gave a fleeting smile, then began walking toward the nearest Gundam. 

*** 

"Yatta!" screamed Duo at the top of his lungs. "Man, I feel so alive! It's incredible! Ne, Wu-man?" 

"_Wufei._ Yes.." The Chinese boy smirked. "Most of the OZ members managed to escape but they won't show their face in public for a while. Trowa and Heero are getting rid of the few mobile suits outside." 

"While we party in here!" the Deathscythe pilot laughed, and made a few more holes in the wall. "Where's Quatre?" 

"I'm here," said the quiet voice and Sandrock appeared behind them. "It wasn't necessary to use our Gundams after all." 

"No, but it sure was fun! Come on, Quatre! Loosen up! Enjoy being back in the pilot seat again! Jeez, you guys are such party poopers." Duo nudged a still standing block of stone, sending it toppling over. 

Kasai coughed and held up an arm to block the wave of dust. _That idiot will bring this whole place down. _A thought struck her. _Maybe that's what he wants._

Cupping her hands around her mouth, she shouted, "Hey Gundam pilot!" 

Duo started, swinging Deathscythe around to peer at the floor. "Guys, someone's still in here." 

"Yeah, I'm talking to you!" 

The ground rumbled as the Gundam took a few steps toward Kasai. She lost her balance and fell to her knees, the marble cool beneath her. 

"Well, well, well," the pilot above her called. "What do we have here? A civilian?" 

"A woman," added Wufei with contempt. 

"Someone who knows all about you Gundam 05, 02, and 04," she threw back at them. "And I'm not scared of boys playing guns and robbers in the suits called the Shenlong, Deathscythe, and Sandrock!" 

Deathscythe reached with a large hand and curled around Kasai, floor crumbling between its fingers. She gasped more from disbelief than fear as the hand raised her meters above the ground. The hand opened and Kasai was sprawled across the great black palm, her skirts blending in. She pushed herself up to a sitting position. 

"Still not scared!" she yelled. Grimacing, she got to her feet. "You underestimate me, Gundam 02, because I'm a civilian!" 

There was a hissing noise and a panel in the Deathscythe opened. A boy walked out onto the edge, his long braid swinging back and forth. She caught the glint of metal and the boy pointed a gun at her. 

"Scared yet?" Duo grinned. 

Kasai gave a feral smile and then curtsied low till she was almost on her knees. "It is an honor to finally meet a Gundam pilot face to face." 

"I'm sure," he said smoothly. "Mind telling me how you know so much about us, missy?" 

"Actually, I do mind." 

"Hey, I'm only trying to save you the pain." 

"So you'd hurt a civilian?" 

"If I had to." __

"No decency either, huh?"__

_Boy, _thought Duo, eyeing the girl standing so unafraid before him. _Who does she think she is insulting me? I am Death! I should be insulting her! She should be afraid of me! Here that, girly? Be afraid of me!_

"Yo," Duo called back to the Shenlong behind him. "What should we do with her?" 

"Kill her and be done with it," came the Chinese pilot's heated reply. 

"And no kindness," chided Kasai. 

"Don't harm her!" Quatre cried, moving Sandrock up beside the Deathscythe. His cockpit door opened and he climbed out. As his blue eyes fell on Kasai, he froze, mouth falling open. "K- Kasai?" he stammered in disbelief. 

Duo stared at the blonde boy before slowly turning back to her. The look on his face was so overwhelming that Kasai stumbled back on Deathscythe's palm. Then she gave another little laugh and bowed again. When she straightened, the handgun Mirialdo had given her was aimed at the blonde boy's head. 

From the corner of her eye, she spied Mirialdo who was holding his side and staggering toward them. _Don't worry about me, _she silently pleaded with him. _Stay back._

To the Gundams, she said, "I don't know what's going on but I don't plan on hanging around while you decide my fate." 

"You forget," Duo protested. "That _I_ got a gun too!" 

Kasai swung her weapon around to point it at him instead. She stepped backward until her heels met open air. Her toes felt the metal beneath her feet, knees bent ever so slightly. 

"Are you crazy?!" Mirialdo shouted up to her. "You can't make that jump!" 

Ignoring him, Kasai smiled sweetly at Duo. "Yeah, but unlike you, I'm not afraid to shoot." Her finger clenched the trigger and a bullet ricocheted off Deathscythe's forehead. 

"Hey now!" Duo cried out and ducked back inside the cockpit. Kasai fired another shot at Sandrock, sending Quatre reeling back as well. 

"I'm not just a civilian!" she shouted at them. In one simple movement, she stepped off the edge of the massive black hand. Freefall lasted only a few seconds. She landed on her feet but the force made her legs give way and Mirialdo was at her side in a flash, helping her. 

"Did I ever tell you you are the most -" 

"Mirialdo!" she interrupted, laughing. "Have you no faith in me?" 

He sighed, pressing his lips against her forehead in relief. "Are you all right?" 

"Dear one, I fell just as far on the High Rise, remember? If I haven't learned anything else with all that training, it's how to fall and not get hurt much." She winced slightly. "Still hurts though." 

He looked up at the Gundams. "We had best leave." 

"Yeah," she agreed faintly. "Are you hurt bad?" 

"I can walk." They supported each other and hobbled out of the dance hall. Mirialdo's car was remarkably untouched and they climbed inside, leaving tire marks on the pavement. 

*** 

"Duo! _Duo!_" 

"What is it, Trowa?" Duo mumbled, staring blankly into his Gundam's cockpit. 

"We've found Zechs!" 

"I know. I know." His eyes didn't even blink in shock. "And Kasai was with him." 

*** 

"Ah-ha!" cried Kasai, relishing the cold night air fanning her face. "Did you see their faces? Did you?! Mirialdo!" 

"You are insane." But the smile on his face said otherwise. He looked in the rearview mirror. "I believe we have company." 

*** 

Wing Zero took off after the black vehicle, skimming across the tops of the trees. 

"I see you now, Zechs," Heero said flatly. "I see my enemy." 

"Stop, Heero!" came Quatre's voice over the system. 

"I see him." 

"Heero! Kasai's in there with him! You _can't_!" 

Heero brought Wing Zero to an abrupt stop. "Kasai Summer?" 

"We- we think. Listen, we'll explain later. Just don't destroy that car." 

The Japanese pilot griped the controls until his knuckles turned white. "Fine. Back to De Conte." 

*** 

"He's pulling away," Kasai said in disbelief. "He could've easily blown us to -" 

"That was Wing Zero," Mirialdo quietly explained. 

"Oh. We're lucky then." 

"Very." 

Kasai pondered for a minute. Then she grinned, poking him in the arm. "I did good, didn't I? Admit it!" 

"Congratulations, Kasai. You are one of the few people who have survived an encounter with the Gundams." 

She laughed. "Thank you!" 

*** 

"Dammit, Heero!" shouted Shinigami, pounding a fist on the table. "It was Kasai! I know it was!" 

"She had a mask on, Duo," Heero said calmly. "You couldn't possibly have seen her face." 

"Quatre saw her to! And Wufei!" 

"Something about her," said Quatre quietly, eyes filled with unshed tears. "Maybe I just wanted it to be her, but I was so sure." 

"Kasai's been gone for eight months," Trowa related. "And I don't think she is coming back." 

"But I _know_ it was her!" the American insisted, then slumped against the wall. "I . . . I know it was." 

"We botched the mission," Heero criticized them. "Because of you and Quatre." 

Wufei gave a little smirk, crossing his arms. "But now we know Zechs Merquise is still in Japan. We'll find him again. And then . . ." He trailed off, leaving what they already understood unsaid. 

*** 

They flung open the front door; their laughter filling up the empty cabin. After flailing and bumping into walls, they managed to make their way into the bedroom with various bandages, clothes, and filled water basins. 

Cleaning each others' wounds proved to be pain-stakingly slow and soon they had to strip down to underclothing to get to them all. Seeing the tired expression on his face, Kasai offered Mirialdo to share the single bed with her for once, to prevent his cracked ribs from suffering under the hands of a lumpy couch. He consented after her persistence. 

They slipped between different sheet layers out of decency and soon relinquished to their exhaustion.   
  



	11. More Training and Visitors

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Chapter 11: More Training and Visitors

  
  


_If I could see_

  


_and hold my blindness at bay_

  


_beauty fill my eyes, nay_

  


_Why do I have to pay?_

  


_If I could . . ._

  
  


The inside of Silverflame's cockpit smelled like a new car as Kasai eased herself excitedly onto the smooth seat facing outwards. Mirialdo crouched at the opening, tell-tale bandages of last night's adventure peeking through his shirt.

  


"These are the weapon controls," he instructed, showing her which one controlled what. "Which are deactivated for now. And the two cylinders right there control the arms, the two pedals the legs. And this lever the wings."

  


"What does that do?" she inquired, pointing to a small red button located to her far right.

  


"It makes Silverflame self-destruct," Mirialdo answered, growing more serious. "The button gives you five minutes to get out. This hand-held device self-destructs the Gundam automatically."

  


"Oh." _I hope I never have to use them. It's a chicken pilot's way out._ "Is that all I need to know?"

  


"Only how to activate." He showed her the 'start' button. "For now, I do not want you to try to move around. Take it easy until your injuries heal up. Just get the feel of Silverflame's weight on your arms and how the system works. We will work up from there later."

  


"Got it." 

  


Mirialdo nodded, closing the cockpit door behind him. Looking around the area from her new perch, she shifted in her seat, got comfortable, and pressed the 'start' button. Silverflame hummed to life, scanning the person inside it.

  


::Pilot Confirmation::

  


::Name?::

  


"Name's Kasai, Gundam pilot Negative 01."

  


::Identity Confirmation::

  


::System Ready::

  


Kasai grinned. This was gonna be fun.

  


***

  


The sun dipped into the horizon before Kasai came back inside. Mirialdo listened, a smile on his face, while she rambled on about the system and how everything felt in her hands. Her reaction time to some of the battle simulations were extremely low but he assured her she would get better. 

  


Then one by one Kasai began to beat the simulations, staying up late into the nights playing them until her fingers cramped. And no matter how late it was, Mirialdo would always be awake, ready to ask how the day went. Sharing the only bed in the house became a regular occurrence and neither of them thought anything of it.

  


Nearly a month after the party incident, all wounds healed, Kasai took her first step with Silverflame. Indeed it was like a baby's first step, tottering around unbalanced until the other leg followed. Her arms and legs hurt like hell afterward but the experience in itself was enough to drive all the pain away. 

  


Mirialdo climbed inside Tallgeese after that and began actively playing out the battle simulations Kasai had beaten. Their days were filled with mock fights and saber fences, never quitting until she got them right.

  


And then finally, when winter had long since set in, Mirialdo taught her how to fly.

  


Sensations bombarding her at all directions. Wrapped in his arms. Snap and swoop and dive and back up again. His hair falling against her cheek. Their laughter drowning out the roar of Tallgeese's engines. Her stomach and heart ached from laughing, and every time she would twist around to meet the aqua pools of his eyes, they hurt even more from something else. Plummet and flip and slice the clouds. A metal bird alone in the sky.

  


She never wanted her feet to touch the ground again.

  


One afternoon, in the midst of snow-covered winter, there came a visitor to their quaint little cabin. Kasai couldn't tell where the unfamiliar ringing was coming from and once she realized it was the front door, she went to answer it. Unlocking the bolt, she swung open the wooden door.

  


At first she didn't recognize the man. His light beige pants and navy pull-over were so dissimilar from his attire at the masquerade. In one of his ungloved hands rested a small bouquet of deep red roses and the other he ran through a carefully styled mop of golden brown hair.

  


"Mr. Treize!" she stammered, widened the door further.

  


"Miss Negative,' he said smoothly, bending low at the waist. "A pleasure to see you again."

  


"Y- you t-too. You- you're alive!"

  


The man blinked a little, tilting his head slightly to the side. A curving of perfect lips graced that handsome face. "T'would take more than a terrorist attack to banish me from the world."

  


"Ah, yes," she murmured. "Of- of course. Won't you come in?"

  


"Thank you."

  


The young, former general moved into the room. He looked around the cabin appreciatively, then turned back to her. "Do not think me rude, Miss Negative. I fear you will. Though, do you live here with Zechs?"

  


For a second, she considered lying to the man, but she nodded.

  


"That is what I distinguished," he continued, clasping his hands behind his back. "We can discard our masks in here, don't you agree? You may call me by my given name- you spoke it before- and we must be introduced." Bright azure eyes sparkled in the dim light and he reached out a hand to clasp hers. "Treize Khushrenada. And you are . . ?"

  


"Kasai. Just Kasai."

  


"Come now," he said easily, smiling. "Do not tell me you wish to keep your identity a secret from me?"

  


"Not at all," she said hastily. The floor became her certain of attention. "I just don't _know_ who I am, Mr. Treize," she confessed, ears turning red.

  


"I apologize," he said softly. "For my ignorance. I did not know."

  


"No one does," Kasai mumbled, shoulders hunched. She refused to look up at the man, afraid to see both pity and contempt. "Except Mirialdo. The farthest I can remember is the moment I met him a few months ago."

  


Treize studied her face, then crossed the few feet between them and clasped her chin. He forced her gently, but steadily, to meet his powerful gaze. Struggling briefly, she relented and let those azure eyes swallow her. They held only kindness and a hidden kind of melancholy.

  


"Do not be ashamed, Lady Kasai. I suspect Mirialdo gave you a new identity."

  


It wasn't a question but she nodded anyway. How did he . . . Could he really know about her being a Gundam pilot?

  


Treize released her and strode over to the warm fireplace. "Where _is_ Mirialdo?"

  


"He went into town," she said, breathing easier. "He should be back anytime now. Um, would you like something to drink while you wait?"

  


"Coffee, please, if you have it."

  


Kasai hurried off into the kitchen and the clinking of cups floated back to the former leader of OZ. Treize busied himself by looking at the sparse pictures and artwork decorating the cabin. 

  


"Have you been friends with Mirialdo long?" came the girl's voice conversationally.

  


Treize chuckled lightly. "Since we were children. Ah, how much _has_ the old man told you of our pasts?"

  


"Enough," was the serious reply.

  


"Ah." He tapped a slender finger against his smooth chin, hearing the roar of a motorbike, and then the silence outside as it shut off. Footsteps crunched on the gravel, the jingling of keys, and the front door opened. Bright aqua eyes widened slightly when they fell on Treize standing in the middle of the room and darted around him just as quickly.

  


"Kasai?" Mirialdo called loudly, jumbling the grocery bags into a corner and striding past Treize

  


"I'm in the kitchen," the girl answered. "Making coffee for our guest. Want some?"

  


"Please." That seemed to relax Mirialdo. He shed his overcoat and extended a hand toward Treize who shook it without hesitation. Kasai came back, three cups in hand, and motioned for them to sit near the fire. Treize rested in a high-backed chair, sipping the scalding coffee. Kasai curled her legs under her on the sofa while Mirialdo sat somewhat stiffly beside her.

  


Over his cup, Mirialdo said quietly, "I didn't think you would show up, Treize."

  


The other man chuckled. "You found the tracer then?"

  


"Under the ID tag was not exactly the most inconspicious space," the other man commented drily.

  


"I suppose not. Forgive me for doing so, Miri, but when Lady Kasai introduced herself as Negative . . . my curiosity was sparked."

  


Mirialdo snorted but Kasai lay a hand on his knee and smiled at Treize. She was prepared to give the ginger-haired man a reasonable explanation (if not wholly truthful) when Mirialdo stood and set aside his cup.

  


"You will want to see her," he sighed. "The Gundam is this way." 

  


Kasai made a choked sound, at which Treize smiled and followed the tall blonde out of the living room. Kasai trailed behind, wondering why Mirialdo would show the other man Silverflame when he had kept her hidden for years. They passed the pictures of the five Gundam pilots - Treize raised an eyebrow but said nothing - and passed Tallgeese, then entered the hanger that encased the silver and red Gundam. The door hissed open and the three of them stepped inside.

  


"Mmm, yes. May I?" His question was directed at Kasai who glanced uncertainly at Mirialdo, then nodded. The two of them used a small lift to raise up to Silverflame's cockpit and Kasai tapped in the code. She stood aside and let the former general peer inside. After a few 'hmms' and 'ahhs,' he looked down at Mirialdo. "It is a marvel you were able to rebuild her." He added, "And train a pilot."

  


Mirialdo gave a small shrug of his shoulder, resting his cheek on one curled hand and causing spun gold to fray to the side. "I could not tear apart what Kasai so desired."

  


"To be sure," Treize mused, lowering back to the ground with Kasai. "For what purpose can piloting a Gundam serve in these peaceful times?"

  


"To defeat your enemies," answered Kasai when Mirialdo stayed silent.

  


"And after that?" he probed quietly.

  


Kasai pressed her lips into a thin line. "We'll see when the time comes."

  


"Yes." Treize seemed to sigh. "I am afraid I cannot stay as long as I had hoped. You understand, Mirialdo?"

  


"Of course," was the reply.

  


They walked Treize to the front door. The man turned to Kasai and bent to kiss her hand.

  


"Lady Kasai, best of luck," he said softly.

  


She nodded, taking his words on many different levels. Mirialdo grasped Treize's hand once more and then the former general drove off into the night.

  


Shutting the door with a light click, Mirialdo brushed stiffly past Kasai and walked upstairs to the bedroom. She hesitated but followed, puzzled as to what was wrong. She found him standing by the open armoire.

  


"Mirialdo?"

  


The man's frame shuddered briefly and he pushed the doors wider so she could see inside. A dusty uniform hung alone on its wire hangar, faded red with gold edges no longer glittering. A pair of tall boots also lay folded beneath the outfit.

  


"Was this your OZ uniform?" 

  


He nodded. "Treize means well," he murmured at length. "Though it took him this long to realize I was not interested in rejoining his troop. Forgive me for showing him your Gundam, Kasai, but it was the only way I could make him see that Zechs Merquise is dead."

  


"It's okay," she said awkwardly.

  


Mirialdo turned to face her. "I want to tell you what else happened that night my sister was murdered."

  


Her eyes widened and she nodded silently.

  


"It was a night full of sparkle, just as the masque was for us," he began, transporting her near four years into the past. "Everyone was there, even I alongside the pilots. My sister was the guest of honor, of course. It was her sixteenth birthday and temporary peace was called forth to celebrate."

  
  


_"Relena-sama!"_

  


_"Relena-sama! Sugo~i!"_

  


_"You look so pretty in your party dress, Relena-sama!"_

  


_"Thank you, all," Relena smiled, brushing a stray strand of hair from her cheek. "Thank you for coming to my birthday party. Has anyone seen Heero?"_

  


_"I think I saw floating around the punch bowl with those friends of us, Relena-sama."_

  


_"Thank you," she said politely again and excused herself to cross the dance floor._

  


_"Relena."_

  


_She turned and saw her brother walk up to her. Beaming, she hurriedly over to him and clasped his hand. "Brother! I'm so glad you were able to make it!"_

  


_"Your negotiations worked well," Mirialdo said with a small up-turn of lips. "I am surprised you managed to convince the world to put things on hold for your birthday party."_

  


_She waved his comment away with a gloved hand. "Don't flatter me so, brother. This isn't just for my birthday. I see it as a welcomed break from all this dreadful fighting."_

  


_"It is still dangerous, don't you agree?" A worried expression was on his face._

  


_"Brother, lighten up! It's a party! Go find Noin to dance with and stop badgering me."_

  


_He gave a mocking grimace. "Touche. Very well, Relena-sama."_

  


_"Brother!" she flustered at him._

  
  


"Relena always was one for titles," Mirialdo told Kasai, smiling fractionally. "Having the heros of pacifism and myself at her side at the same time went to her head, I think, and let down her guard. It let down all our guards. I don't know how she managed to convince the pilots to leave their precious Gundams behind. It was probably the same power which kept either side from having mobiles suits posted around. Our greatest mistake."

  
  


_"The air is tense," Mirialdo murmured, sipping a glass of wine as he surveyed the crowd. The pilots were on the opposite side of the dancing guests, eyeing him as he did the same. "Those boys sense it as well." _

  


_"Sir!" _

  


_Mirialdo returned the salute of the messenger who rushed to him briskly. "What is it?"_

  


_"OZ scouts near here have spied a group of unidentified mobile suit carriers entering an area fifty-two kilometers to the south. They await your orders, sir."_

  


_"Tell them to return to base," Mirialdo ordered, motioning the messenger away. "I can take care of the matter in the morning."_

  


_"Yessir!"_

  


_The messenger ran off and Mirialdo returned to watching the pilots, who seemed to have received similar information._

  
  


"We were all fools," Mirialdo murmured. "All great, silly fools. And I was the greatest of all. I knew, Kasai, I _knew_ that the unnamed terrorists hated both OZ and the Kingdom. I _knew_ it and yet I let the party continue."

  
  


_"Will you have a dance, brother?" Relena urged, grasping Mirialdo's hand. _

  


_"My pleasure." _

  


_He led her amid the other dancing guests but they had scarcely begun when a tremor rocked the ground. His head snapped around, searching for the pilots out of reflex. They still stood by the punch bowl and the looks on their faces indicated that they'd felt the ground shift as well. _

  


_"Stay here," he told Relena. He heard her calling him back from the middle of the room, and then the whole ceiling seemed to cave in._

  
  


Mirialdo heaved a dry breath and continued shakily. "The Gundam pilots, and myself, came away unscathed, having been by the main walls of the chamber that failed to collapse.

  


"But Relena . . . and the others . . . were not as fortunate." 

  
  


_The chaos spread like roaring flames. "Relena-sama's been assassinated! Relena-sama's dead!"_

  


_"Oh gods," Mirialdo whispered. Upon reflex, his eyes flickered over to where the pilots had been standing but they were gone. The terrorists . . . the terrorists were responsible for this. _

  


_No, _*he* _was responsible._

  


_"Zechs-sama! *_Zechs-sama_*!" his personal aide cried, clutching his own bloodied arm. "Zech-sama! The Gundams are here! We have to go now!"_

  


_Mirialdo blinked slowly, his mind whirling with too much information. His aide tugged on his sleeve, begging him to run._

  


_//Such a coward I have become,// Mirialdo thought vaguely, and then let himself be swept away into the night._

  
  


"I was greatly sought after, to be sure," Mirialdo said in a wiry tone. "Newspapers needed their headlines and world leaders needed to point fingers and I was chosen as the recipient of the blame."

  


"That's so stupid!" Kasai cut in, for the first time interrupting his story. "It's not like you ordered the terrorists to attack. You didn't _know_ that they would kill your sister. You didn't _know_. How could they've blamed you for it?"

  


"As I said, scapegoats are needed in such large matters."

  


"It's still stupid," she argued sullenly. "But what did you do?"

  


Mirialdo lifted and dropped his shoulders in a shrug. "I fled. The death of my world-loved sister caused Treize to drop out of the war, thus ending all future battles. Why rage a war to shun the world away from more warring when one death had already done so? So I resigned and fled and came here. I have been here ever since."

  


"And the Gundams?"

  


"There wasn't a point to the Gundams anymore, if there ever was. They locked their suits away and chose to continue cleaning up loose ends without them." Mirialdo swung the armoire doors shut with a soft click. "I search daily for any sign of that terrorist organization with no name, and I am sure that the Gundam pilots do the same.Because of that night, because of my sin, those five young men hate me, and I return their passion in turn to counter-balance." The man turned toward her, brushing away platinum strands of hair. He clasped her hand and Kasai swallowed the comment she had been about to retort. 

  


As Mirialdo led her away from the armoire, away from his uniform buried within, Kasai's thoughts remained on those five Gundam pilots. Those five boys that had now earned her hatred as well.

  



	12. Mission to Emotion

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Chapter 12: Mission to Emotion

  


_If I could remember,_

  


_lift this emptiness from my head,_

  


_take away harsh things I've said,_

  


_leave me comfort in my bed_

  


_If only I could . . ._

  


The hangar loomed dark before her when Kasai first walked in, stretching out her muscles and yawning violently. She flipped the light switch, shedding opaque dimness over the mobile suit inside.

  


Passing by, she patted the white Tallgeese. "He's not up just yet," she told it and continued on into the adjoining hangar. Silverflame stood waiting at the far end, light filtering in briefly on its silver gundamnium alloy before she closed the door with a soft thud. She swung up inside the cockpit, punching buttons and codes as she seated, and carelessly flipped her thick rope of hair over one shoulder.

  


::Mission 01::

  


Kasai stared at the screen in puzzlement. "What the heck? A- a mission?"

  


Then a different message flickered on the screen and she gasped. "The other Gundam pilots live near here?!" Her eyes quickly read the mission. Her face turned grim and her hand sought out the black mask she had hidden under the seat. 

  


"Alright then." A finger pushed the mask up on her nose. "I understand. Mission 01 . . . accepted."

  


***

  


"It is time to stop hiding once more," the blond man murmured, closing his laptop and straightening. Everything was falling into place. And now . . . now it was up to the pilots to decide the future.

  


***

  


Sneaking into De Conte, Kasai soon discovered, was easier than she had first feared. The only cameras were those on the outside and even then they did not cover all the windows _all_ of the time. She raised an unlocked one, peeked inside, and crawled in. The mansion was silent and dark and the rookie Gundam pilot quickly went to work.

  


***

  


Wufei nonchalantly strolled down the hallway. A morning cup of coffee he held in one hand, the newspaper in the other. It was a lazy morning for the Chinese pilot with nothing to do but work on his dear Nataku . . . and help Quatre console a delusional Maxwell.

  


He shook his head. Ever since their failed mission, the usually flamboyant American had lost his annoying chatter and capering fashion. 

  


Not that that was a bad thing.

  


But having to 'cheer him up,' as the blonde pilot put it, was, well, not Wufei's idea of fairness.

  


Distracted as he was, the paper slipped from his hand, landing on the carpet. Wufei bent to pick it up and stopped. 

  


There was a slight bulge in the carpet where the edge met the wall, a tiny circle like something lay underneath. Wufei glanced down the empty hallway, his trained eye making out more little bumps further down.

  


_What in the-_

  


Popping out a knife, he cut the carpet around the bulge, carefully lifting up the fabric, and pulled out a miniature black box no bigger than a quarter. His black eyes grew large.

  


A bomb. A bomb with enough power to . . .

  


He studied the back of the device and with a slight flick of his knife, disarmed it. Their nice little hideaway had been invaded by an assassin, and the Chinese boy intended to follow the trail right to him.

  


Still crouched, he made his way down the hall, disarming bombs as he went.

  


***

  


Her hands betrayed her nervousness as she hid another box under the carpet. Kasai breathed a sigh of relief, briefly clouding her helmet, when the bomb was in place. Straightening, she moved further down the hallway. She could hear voices up ahead and when she approached the kitchen entryway, she took a deep breath and tumbled silently across the opening. She froze, listening for any sign that they saw her, and continued on.

  


After planting a few more devices, Kasai saw an open doorway to her right. Hesitating, she entered the empty bedroom containing only a large bed and dresser. Her heartbeat seemed loud to her ears, echoing in the room. 

  


A sudden pain speared her chest and she gasped, stumbling forward and colliding with the dresser.

  


***

  


In the kitchen, Quatre doubled over, the cup he had been holding smashing into the floor. Duo ran to his side, a confused look spreading across his face.

  


"Man, you all right?" he asked.

  


Quatre held up a hand, warding the American back. "This pain . . ." His glazed blue eyes met Duo's worried expression and then the Deathscythe pilot's own violet eyes widened.

  


"Is it the same thing you felt when Kasai disappeared?"

  


Quatre nodded then slowly sat back up. "It- it's gone."

  


"What does it mean?" the other boy asked, sliding into a chair beside Quatre.

  


"I . . . I don't know."

  


***

  


Her whole body trembled and Kasai slowly flattened her palms against the cool surface of the dresser and pushed herself up. Grey eyes cracked open and slid across her surroundings. As quickly as the pain came it had left but she found her lungs wouldn't take in any air.

  


Shock overtook her. Mere inches from her helmet was a framed picture. Kasai blinked, hoping it was a dream, but the picture was still there. Slowly she rose off the dresser and in one swift motion, broke the glass of the frame. She jerked out the photo, staring at her own face.

  


It was definitely Kasai, no mistake about that. Her dark scarlet hair was shorter and done in two braids but it was _her_ hair. And the grey eyes were _her_ eyes. And the bright smile on her face . . .

  


A boy had his arm slung around her shoulders, the other raised in a wave, grinning widely with his braid swung in a long arc. The Deathscythe pilot . . . 02 . . .

  


Smiling behind them was 04, pilot of Sandrock. And behind him was 01 . . . She recognized them all from the pictures Mirialdo had shown her and everything he'd said about them swirled in her head. They were in some kind of dance club and seemed so happy . . .

  


But how was this possible? How could she, Kasai, be in a picture with her enemies? It didn't make sense. It didn't make any sense at all. 

  


Feeling sick, she stuffed the photo into her jumpsuit and pushed away from the dresser.

  


click She heard the quiet sound of a gun and straightened, raising her hands.

  


"Who are you?" A soft voice. Too casual to belong to a Gundam pilot. Kasai could see his reflection in the dresser mirror. A tall boy, one thick lock of hair hiding a green eye.

  


"Who are _you_?" she softly repeated his own question.

  


"Trowa," the boy said, apparently not concerned. "Trowa Barton."

  


_So that's 03's name._ _He's so calm._

  


"Why don't you put that gun away, Trowa?"

  


"Why don't you come with me." Somehow, Kasai sensed that wasn't a question and yet she felt no threat from this boy. 

  


She shrugged. "Okay then." He let her go in front of him, the gun staying with her, and they walked out of the bedroom. Kasai said nothing and the pilot called Trowa didn't offer. She halted when they reached the kitchen, the voices she'd heard earlier still inside.

  


"Go ahead," Trowa said.

  


"Make me," she retorted.

  


click And another gun was pointed at her head.

  


"You heard the man," growled a different voice and Kasai turned her head a little to look at the boy, black hair pulled back in a stubby ponytail. Pilot 05 . . . 

  


"And who are you?" she demanded.

  


"My name's Chang Wufei and I have a loaded gun aimed at your head." Cold black eyes showed no patience. 

  


"Fine," she sighed, moving into the kitchen.

  


Gundam pilots 02 and 04 were sitting at the counter and cast puzzled looks at her when she entered.

  


"Uh, Wu-man, Trowa, who's that?" inquired 02, lolling over to peer inside Kasai's helmet. She tottered back from his inquisitive violet eyes, bumping into Wufei's weapon.

  


"I was about to ask the same thing of you," she said, trying not to show how nervous she was.

  


The pilot grinned, grabbed one of her still raised hands and thrust his own into it, shaking violently. "I'm Duo Maxwell. Please to meet you, whomever you are." He peered over her shoulder at the other two, still cheery. "Mind telling me what the hell's going on?"

  


"Kisama," grumbled Wufei, holding up a bag. "Our 'friend' here planned on introducing us to hell."

  


"Ne? No kidding!" The Deathscythe pilot bounded over to look at the small collection of tiny bombs. 

  


Wufei jerked the bag away. "Would you be serious for once?" he snapped, waving his gun at Kasai. "We have a terrorist on our hands!"

  


"I can see that!" Duo pouted. 

  


"We should find out who he is." 

  


Kasai swung her head back around to meet the two soft blue eyes of a young, blonde-headed boy.

  


"W-who are you?" she stuttered, feeling like those blue orbs were searching her very soul and she couldn't resurface.

  


The boy smiled. "Quatre Raberba Winner. And you are?"

  


"Nobody." 

  


She couldn't resurface. 

  


She couldn't breathe!

  


"Enough!" cried Wufei, shoving Kasai further into the kitchen. "Take off that helmet." 

  


She rounded on him but found the barrel in her face again. "No need for that now." They watched as the mysterious terrorist unclasped the large helmet and lifted it up. A long, scarlet rope of hair rolled out and thick lashes curved from apprehensive grey eyes. A black-feathered mask concealed most of the face but there was no doubt about it.

  


"He's a woman!" Wufei shouted angrily. "A woman managed to break through our defenses!"

  


"What defenses?" Kasai threw back at him. "All I saw were a few flimsy cameras!"

  


"K-Kasai . . ." 

  


Quatre whisper threw a deafening silence over the kitchen. 

  


"Is . . . is that really you?"

  


Startled, Kasai stumbled away from the blonde boy. The last time she'd seen the Gundam pilots came back to her now in a rush. The masque party. This same boy calling her name. She fell against Duo and the both of them crashed backward to the floor. Kasai landed on the Deathscythe pilot, their faces inches apart.

  


"Kasai?" Duo asked uncertainly. Hope shadowed his voice, hope she couldn't stand. "Are you really . . . back?"

  


"I don't know what you're talking about!" she insisted, jumping up. 

  


Duo got up after her. "You were at that party, weren't you?"

  


"I-"

  


"_Weren't you?_"

  


The intensity in his voice frightened her. "Stay away from me," she warned.

  


"Kasai," began Quatre, stepped toward her.

  


"Stop saying my name!" she shouted. "Stop it! You don't know me!"

  


"I'm sorry," the blonde said gently. "If you're not Kasai . . . then who are you?"

  


Her back straightened proudly. "I'm Gundam pilot Negative 01." Their disbelieving looks made Kasai narrow her eyes. "I _am_ a Gundam pilot, just like you are."

  


"But that's impossible!" Duo exploded. "Kasai-"

  


"I said stop saying my name!" she screamed, and pulled out a small gun. "Stay back or I'll kill you all!"

  


Wufei snorted, disregarding the weapon. "She's a Gundam pilot all right." Duo and Quatre turned to stare back at him, stunned and the Chinese pilot shrugged with indifference. "'Omae o korosu' suits us too well."

  


Trowa raised a brow and looked at Kasai. He said calmly, "What is the name of your Gundam?"

  


She tried to keep her hands from shaking. They knew who she was. They _knew who she was!! _"I'm not stupid so don't think I am," she said, surprised at how steady it came out. "You'll look me up and come after me." Her finger tightened on the trigger and her eyes sought out an escape. "My name's Kasai but you have no clue who I am!" 

  


Her feet moved, taking her closer to the window at her back. "So . . . so go to hell!" With her yell, she flung the gun at them and sprinted for her only way out. The glass shattered on contact with her body and she tumbled wildly to the ground far below. Lashed with new pain, Kasai turned and hobbled away from De Conte.

  


The four of them watched her disappear in silence. When the others began to wordlessly clean up the shards of glass, Duo still stood by the broken window. 

  


"Whoever you are," he said with such monotonous qualities one might've thought he was Heero. "Whoever you are, I can't go to hell . . . because I'm already there."

  


***

  


Kasai cursed for the umpteenth time, using a tree trunk for support. Her ankle throbbed, forcing her to get back to Silverflame slower than she wanted. Dark clouds were gathering overhead, she saw through the thick branches of the woods, and she shivered as a chill wind swept under her hair. 

  


_No problem,_ she thought wistfully. _I botched the mission but at least I'm still alive._

  


Renewed, she pushed off the trunk, wincing when pain shot up her leg, and was met with two icy cobalt eyes.

  


_Heero Yuy_.

  


It was the faintest tickle in her mind, like some hidden voice was hinting. She recognized the pilot 01 instantly but his actual name . . . 

  


"Hi," she said giddily, trying to remember everything Mirialdo had said about the Wing Zero pilot. The perfect soldier, he was called. And, um- gods, she was so scared of him!

  


Heero - that _was_ his name, the creepy feeling told her - grunted in response and she fidgeted nervously, her ankle painfully protesting the movement. 

  


_He's your enemy!_ she reminded herself. _Either kill him or escape but he can't find Silverflame! Besides, you're a Gundam pilot yourself! Don't let him intimidate you._

  


_Hey, that's right!_

  


Wavering a bit because of her injury, Kasai bowed low. "It is an honor to finally meet one I've heard so much about."

  


Heero's face didn't register any emotion and his voice carried even less when he spoke. "Who do you think I am?"

  


"I know exactly who you are, Gundam pilot 01."

  


Again, the boy didn't flinch or seem surprised. Nothing. "You are wearing a mask," he stated.

  


She snorted. "Many people wear masks," she said pointedly. "And this one happens to be mine. But come, 01, I believe you know more than you're letting on. You've probably been watching me since I left De Conte. You probably have a gun ready to pull out on me right now to either shoot me or force me back to your friends. Well, you'll just have to shoot me." With her good leg, she jumped up and grabbed onto the lowest branch of a nearby tree. She easily swung up into the boughs, grinning down at Heero who stared blankly up at her.

  


"You can't escape in the trees like that," the Japanese pilot informed her.

  


Her grin grew wider as she straightened, balancing on one foot. "I trained for months without the use of my ankle, 01, and this time won't be any different. Again, it's nice to finally meet you but I must be going." With some difficultly, Kasai took off through the tree branches.

  


Heero stood for a moment longer, hands shoved deep into his jacket pockets. Then he turned and calmly walked toward De Conte.

  


*** 

  


The mess was finally cleaned up, chairs righted and bombs disassembled. The four of them hadn't said a word to each other and when Duo suddenly bolted out of the kitchen, no one went after him.

  


It was Quatre who finally broke the awful silence, clearing his troat to get the other two pilots' attention.

  


"We should tell Heero." 

  


Trowa nodded. "That there is another Gundam."

  


"Yes, that too. But I meant that Kasai has returned."

  


Wufei jerked his head up from his coffee. "What was that?"

  


"Can't you feel it, Wufei? Can you both feel it?" The blonde boy's eyes were filled with despair and twinged with hope that they would understand. "She's . . . weeping."

  


"Weeping?" Wufei huffed, slamming his cup against the counter. "That girl . . ."

  


Quatre's sudden tears silenced him. "I _know_ she's Kasai. Her heart's weeping. There's something wrong. Something we're not understanding."

  


"Kasai has lost her memory."

  


The three of them swung around to face the Japanese pilot, startled by Heero's quiet words.

  


"I saw her jump from the window," he continued, leaning against the wall. "And followed her into the woods. She knew I was Gundam 01 and said she had heard a lot about me." He lowered his head, closing his eyes. "She's different but I know it was Kasai."

  


"Where is she now?" inquired Trowa.

  


"I don't know. The Kasai I remember couldn't even survive in the inner city, much less possess the skills she has now."

  


"So she's gone again," whispered Quatre sullenly.

  


"Not quite," Heero said, pulling out a small piece of paper from his pocket. "I found a small cabin up on the mountain, hidden from our view by the surrounding cliff. A motorcycle was parked in front, marked with this tag number." He gave the paper to Quatre who glanced at it and sucked in his breath. 

  


"It's . . ."

  


Wufei snatched the scrap from the blonde's hand, skimmed it, and snickered. "So we have found Zechs Merquise at last."

  


***

  


Quatre rapped lightly on Duo's bedroom door. When he got no answer, he opened it hesitantly.

  


"Duo?" he called out softly and spied the American by the small window. "Heero had some more news, Duo."

  


"I know," was the almost inaudible reply. "I heard." With a yell, Duo slammed his fist against the window pane. "Dammit, Quatre! I should've done something while I could! Now Heero's got it into his one-track mind that she's gotta die, doesn't he? Along with Zechs! Along with everybody!"

  


"I don't understand it either," Quatre sighed, coming up beside him. "But Heero-"

  


"Damn Heero!" Duo spat. "Damn the whole 'gotta kill Zechs' idea for all I care! It's my fault Kasai's in this mess to begin with. If I hadn't pushed her she wouldn't have ran away."

  


Quatre lay a hand on the other boy's trembling shoulder, trying to comfort him. "But see, it wasn't your fault. Duo, something happened that day that we don't know about. Only Kasai knows and she-"

  


"Has amnesia," Duo finished for him drily. "And somehow she got caught up with Zechs and is running around thinking she's a Gundam pilot herself."

  


"And what if she really _is_ a Gundam pilot?" considered Quatre, blue eyes staring at the trees below. 

  


"Then we've got a bigger mess on our hands than before." The American sighed, tugging on his rope of chestnut hair. "So what's the new plan?"

  


"Well, Heero said Kasai headed off in a different direction than Zech's cabin. Which means he's probably living there by himself."

  


Duo nodded in understanding. "And we go in and kick his butt."

  


"You could say that." The blonde pilot smiled and patted Duo's shoulder. "We will find Kasai again, I know we will. She seems to have a way of always crossing paths with us."

  


Duo flashed a lop-sided grin. His sour attitude was gone in a flash, the mask replaced carefully even thought he knew Quatre most of all could see right through it. But the American was the happy one and so he'd be happy. 

  


"She sure does!" he agreed, throwing an arm round Quatre's neck and galloping out of the room.

  


***

  


Her ankle was in better shape than she thought it was at first. Kasai peeled off her flight suit, grimacing when it scraped against her fresh cuts, and hid it and her mask underneath the seat in Silverflame. She tore strips off her shirt, quickly bandaging her ankle. Pushing her scarlet bangs out of her eyes, Kasai finally let her breath out in a rush and slumped wearily in the Gundam's tiny cockpit. 

  


The picture caught her eyes where it had fallen on the floor and she leaned over and picked it up. She ducked out of the cockpit, climbing gingerly to perch on Silverflame's massive shoulder. Beyond the ridge before her lay the other Gundam pilots' hideaway. 

  


"I'm so confused, Silverflame," she whispered, staring down at silent Gundam as her vision blurred. She clutched the photo to her chest; her shoulders heaved but no tears would come. "I don't know what to do, who to turn to, where to go. I- I don't even know who _I_ am!"

  


Blinking, she brushed her thumb over the faces in the picture. "You didn't want me to destroy the other Gundam pilots, did you?" She curled up on the metal surface, hiding her face from everything. "Mission completed."

  



	13. More Than a Name

Chapter 13: More Than a Name__

  


_If I could not weep_

  


_forever banish my cold, dark fears,_

  


_not walk in the rain so no one sees my tears,_

  


_close my eyes and shut my ears._

  


_If only I could . . ._

  


Mirialdo was sitting on the floor by the fire when she finally stumbled in past nightfall. She fell to her knees at his side before he could rise, clutching his slender hands with her own. Fear sliced through her, afraid that he would be angry with her for taking the Gundam and not telling him. Mirialdo was her only friend, the only one who cared for her.

  


"I- I'm sorry," she stammered before he could say anything. "I took Silverflame and went after the Gundams and I should have told you. Please . . . please don't be mad . . ." She faltered when strong arms wrapped around her and pulled her against his chest.

  


"Oh Kasai," he breathed, burying his face in the sweetness of her hair. __

  


Confused, she pulled back, searching his aqua eyes for anything that would help her understand this man. "Mirialdo, I- I don't-"

  


His soft thumb running over her bottom lip silenced her. He leaned forward, his warm breath fanning her face. The touch of his lips upon hers was a brush of fire and, startled, Kasai broke away, pushing back an arms length. Her face was flushed, her cheeks red as she hastily stood and moved backward a few steps. She turned away so she wouldn't have to see his expression.

  


"I should not have done that, Kasai." She heard the swish of cloth as Mirialdo stood and closed the distance behind her. "I am sorry."

  


"No," she protested, suddenly spinning around and slipping her arms around his slim waist. "So many things have happened, Mirialdo." She hid her face in the folds of his shirt, willing away the wet sob that rose in her throat.

  


His hand gently stroked her deep red hair as she told him everything that had occurred since the dance. Sneaking into De Conte. Meeting the other pilots. The pain her chest. The Gundam pilots calling her by name. And finding the photo.__

  


Mirialdo didn't say anything for awhile. Then he tightened his grip on her. "Do you think the pilots know . . ."__

  


Kasai nodded, tugging the battered picture from under her shirt. She raised her head, looking up at him. Her grey eyes sparkled with unshed tears and shone with hope as she brought the photo up where he could see. "There's more to me than just a name, Mirialdo. I know there is."__

  


***

  


The hot gush of water hit her upturned face and ran in rivulets down her sore body. Kasai shut her eyes tightly, focusing on the sensation and trying to drive out all thoughts. But her mind was in a whirl and refused to slow down. 

  


Mirialdo's behavior toward her last night had not helped the situation at all. There was some kind of spark between them, but how bright that spark was she didn't know. And when he had kissed her . . .

  


Did he . . . did he really feel that way about her? _And what if he does, Kasai?_ she asked herself. _Is that so bad? He's been kind and gentle and opened his life to you. So why worry if he does? You feel the same way, don't you?_

  


Her hands balled up into fists. __

  


_Yeah, you do._

  


Kasai turned off the shower, squeezing the water out of her almost ankle-length hair. "I need to get a haircut," she said out loud absentmindedly and shrugged into her exercise clothes. It was dusk outside already and her ankle would complain but she needed to get out and train more. The next time she faced the Gundam pilots, she wouldn't be so easily overpowered.

  


The next time.

  


With a sigh, she sat on the edge of the bed she still shared with Mirialdo and proceeded to brush out tangles from the wet locks. She would grow stronger and maybe next time she could face them in Silverflame, Gundam against Gundam.

  


A loud gunshot made her jump, her brush crashing to the floor. The sudden sound, a sound no one should ever hear, caused her heart to pump wildly and her hands to shake. It had came from downstairs, not outside.

  


Mirialdo . . .

  


She bolted to the door, ignoring her ankle, and wrenched it open. She bounded down the stairs in twos and froze when she rounded the corner. 

  


The Gundam pilots, all five of them, stood in the living room. Their expressions were cluttered with anger and determination but it didn't register in her head that the Gundams had found them. All she saw was Mirialdo, down on one knee, his hand gripping his shoulder, his face laced with pain.

  


"No!" she cried, running to his side. The pilots shouted at her but she didn't hear the actual words. Her enemies had found them at last. _Mirialdo's_ enemies. 

  


Dark wetness spread over the sleeve of his red shirt. Mirialdo was breathing heavily and his eyes told her to stay away. He shoved his face close to hers, mouthing one single word.

  


"Run."

  


Kasai shook her head, feeling the same tears that her eyes never would release clouding her vision. She put her lips up to his ear and whispered furiously, "Running is not an option."

  


"Your mask is now gone, Kasai," stated an emotionless voice and she heard a click as a gun was aimed at her. 

  


Kasai kept her head down, drawing herself up onto her feet to stand in front of Mirialdo. Her fists quivered at her sides with barely controlled anger as she stared at the gun in the hand of his attacker. Then she brought her face up to meet the eyes of her enemy. Heero Yuy.

  


"Shoot me."

  


"What?" A faint splash of surprise flickered across the Japanese pilot's face and was gone.

  


"I said for you to shoot me," Kasai repeated. "I am your enemy. Why are you hesitating?"

  


Wufei stepped up beside Heero, his own gun drawn but hanging lifeless at his side. "Because _you_ are not _our_ enemy."

  


"Yes she is," Heero argued, bringing his gun to point at Kasai. "She works for Zechs."

  


"I work for nobody," Kasai informed him.

  


"Then move aside or I'll go ahead and shoot you too."

  


"I already said for you to shoot me!" she cried, impatient. "So go ahead!"

  


"Fine." His cobalt eyes narrowed and Kasai squeezed her eyes shut, bracing herself. His finger tightened-

  


"No, Heero!" shouted another voice. Kasai's grey eyes cracked open uncertainly and then widened. 02 . . . Duo . . . stood between her and Heero's gun, arms outstretched. He was inches away, chestnut silkiness brushing up against her. 

  


"Stop it, Heero!" he yelled, his voice cracking. "I won't let you!"

  


"Move," the other boy said firmly, holding the gun steady.

  


Duo only widened his stance. "I'm not moving until you put that gun down." He spread his hands, pleading. "Listen, Heero, you're letting this mission get to your head! Kasai's not the enemy. She never was!"

  


"Duo's right," Trowa spoke up softly. "We can continue this mission another time."

  


"No," the Japanese pilot refused. "It ends now."

  


"I can't move," Duo said, violet eyes remorseful. "You know I can't. You know I- I care for her too much."

  


_Care for me?_ Kasai stared at the back of the boy's head. Her chest was hurting, a dull version of what had happened during her first mission. _Why would he care for me? Why would any of them care? Oh gods! What's wrong with me?!_

  


Kasai screamed, her hands clutching both sides of her head. The ground seemed to fall out beneath her and swallow her up. Her head was exploding and yet she could _feel_ someone crying out in pain along with her. Behind the other pilots, Quatre was kneeling on the floor. His own scream melded with the girl's as he doubled over and grasped his head.

  


_I want to remember! _ Kasai cried in her mind. _ I want to remember who I am and why is this happening to me! The pain's so unbearable! Stop fighting! Make it stop! Stop fighting!_

  


"Stop fighting!" Quatre cried. His eyes rolled back and his head lolled to the side as he suddenly lost consciousness.

  


The only sounds in the small cabin were Kasai's gasping breaths, and then Trowa's footsteps over to kneel beside Quatre.

  


"He's okay," he said quietly. "And Kasai . . .?"

  


The girl's shoulders were shaking uncontrollably but when her head jerked up at her name, her eyes were only brimmed with tears. Duo reached to touch her.

  


"Get out," she whispered, choking back a sob. 

  


"But-"

  


"Get out!" she exploded, shoving him away with a hand. "Get out! _Get out_!"

  


From where he still stood, Heero nodded and lowered his gun. "We will continue this later, Zechs." And the front door banged behind him. Wufei seemed to hesitate and followed him out.

  


"I'll carry Quatre," Trowa told whomever was listening and picked the lithe boy up in his arms. "Are you coming?"

  


"Yeah, in a minute." Duo looked back down at Kasai who hadn't moved. "Kasai-"

  


"Why do you keep saying my name?" she asked, staring down at the floor. "Do you know me?"

  


Mirialdo stirred and Duo hastily stood and backed away. He stopped at the door. "You are my friend." And then he walked out of the cabin and into the night.

  


"My friend," she mumbled, blindly crawling to Mirialdo and collapsing into his open arms. "My enemy is my friend?" She craned her neck to look up at him and hastily looked away when she saw his aqua eyes were glassy with tears.

  


"Don't cry, Mirialdo," she whispered. "We shouldn't have to cry . . . to cry . . ." 

  


Sobs welled up in her throat and her salty tears were finally released; Kasai broke down and wept. The Heavens above split open their dark clouds and rained their own chilly sadness upon the world.


	14. Returning Memory, Returning Past

Chapter 14: Returning Memory, Returning Past

  


_If I could be your friend,_

_please shed light on this sorrow,_

_a snatch of golden light I may borrow,_

_and wake up _happy_ tomorrow_

_If only I could . . ._

  


Duo burst wildly into the kitchen, slapping his hat down on the counter. "Where's Heero?" he demanded and spotted the Wing Zero pilot in the shadows. Duo stalked over to him, swung his fist, and socked Heero square in the jaw. Blood spurted from the boy's mouth but he calmly wiped it away with the back of his hand.

  


"That was for Kasai," the American growled.

  


Heero fixed his cool eyes on him. "Kasai Summer doesn't exist anymore."

  


A deadly fire alighted violet embers. "Bastard," he hissed. "How can you be so cruel to her?"

  


"We don't need another Gundam pilot."

  


"It's not about her being a Gundam pilot, Heero," Duo said with barely controlled anger. "She's a person."

  


"She is my enemy."

  


"She's my _friend_."

  


Heero glared at him but said nothing. Wanting to hit the Japanese boy again, Duo let his breath out slowly and walked stiffly to sit at the counter. Heero left the kitchen, his face as hard as stone.

  


"I just don't get him sometimes," Duo exhaled, resting his chin on his arms. He raised a chestnut brow, eyeing Wufei. "_You_ haven't said anything."

  


The Chinese boy's black eyes surveyed him, scattered emotion carefully concealed within their onyx depths. "Too much is being _said_ already and not enough being _done_."

  


For once, the American only nodded and didn't proceed to poke fun at Wufei's answer. "Yeah . . . But-" A soft knock at the front door cut him off. He exchanged a look with the Shenlong pilot, who was mentally noting that all five of them were already back. Trowa was watching over the still unconscious Quatre and Heero had vanished to wherever Heero goes when pissed. So . . . who could be at the door?

  


Wufei silently unlocked his gun, Duo quickly following suit, and stepped out into the doorway. The American moved into the shadows, weapon raised, while Wufei swung open the door. The Shenlong pilot's dark eyes grew even darker and Duo raised an curious eyebrow.

  


"Wu-man," he hissed from behind the door. "Wu-man, who is it?"

  


There was a pause and finally Wufei said flatly, "Kasai."

  


A flash of braid raced by the Chinese boy as Duo almost knocked him over to skid to a halt on the doorstep. Kasai stood huddled with her arms wrapped around her slim form. Her rain-slick hair hung in clumps on her forehead and down her legs, plastered clothes clinging. For a moment, all Duo could do was stare and blink at the American girl, almost daring her to be a dream. Kasai's blank grey eyes didn't seem to really see him.

  


"Tell me . . ." she mumbled. "Tell me who I am."

  


Only when she faltered, swaying on unsteady feet, did Duo snap and catch her against his chest. The girl struggled violently and then was suddenly still and limp in his arms, having fainted.

  


Duo cast a look over the unconscious girl, a pleading look, at Wufei who snorted. But he complied with the silent request and moved aside so Shinigami could carry Kasai to one of the back rooms.

  


The Shenlong pilot looked down at the gun resting against his palm, muttering under his breath, "Heero will not be happy about this."

  


***

  


Grey eyes sprung open, frantically searching their surroundings. Even when something familiar was spotted, relaxation was not an option. The bed, the dresser, one of the bedrooms in De Conte . . .

  


Kasai shot off the bed, her hair falling forward with the sudden motion. Her hand skimmed over embroidery and she stared down at sheets identical to the one Mirialdo had found her wrapped in. Her attire was different than the T-shirt and sweat pants she'd ran through the woods in. She touched the light green fabric, vaguely wondering how the Gundam pilots had managed to find girl clothing.

  


The Gundams!

  


A hand flew along her lower back, feeling the weapon somehow still tucked in the waistband. They hadn't taken the small pistol from her . . . but why?

  


"These boys confuse me," she murmured outloud, starting to get off the bed. "One minute they're trying to kill me and the next-" She trailed off, seeing the slim form in the doorway. In one swift motion, her gun was ready to fire. "You shouldn't sneak up on a Gundam pilot."

  


The boy snorted, moving into the room and shutting the door. His braid swished in little arcs as he closed the distance between them. "I'm a Gundam pilot too, you know," he said, jutting a thumb at himself. "And _you've_ sneaked up on me plenty of times before."

  


"Have _not_," she argued, instinctively backing up until the bedpost was pressed up against her back.

  


02 heaved a dramatic sigh, flopping onto the bed. His hands cupped his cheeks, elbows resting on lanky legs. "You really don't remember, do you, Kasai?"

  


"Like it's any of your business," she snapped harshly and his face crumpled. 

  


"How are you?" he asked softly, gazing up at her and she started. 02 seemed more worried how she was doing than the gun still aimed at his chest. 

  


_I care about her._

  


His violet eyes held too much cluttered emotion and she hastily headed for the bedroom door. The boy made a move to stop her and she pressed the barrel against his shirt. 

  


"I didn't come here to speak to you," she said, deadly quiet. "All I want is-" His sudden movement cut her off as he leaned against the closed door, arms folded loosely.

  


"You're not going to ask me who's clothes you're wearing?" he inquired cooly.

  


Kasai glanced at the clothes that fit her frame so perfectly, but said nothing.

  


"And what about the sheets with your name on them, huh? What about that?"

  


Smouldering grey eyes narrowed. "I came here to find out who I am, not to guess riddles, 02."

  


"Duo," the Deathscythe pilot corrected. "Du~o. My name is _Duo_, not some number. What happened to you, Kasai?"

  


Her face grew hard, eyes cold. "I am not planning on staying here very long. Only until I find out what I need to know. But if you're going to be a bother to me . . ." Her trigger finger tightened.

  


"Hey now!" 02 backed off, holding up his hands. "Oi, you'd think you were Heero, waving that thing around like that!"

  


Kasai seethed, growing even more angry. "Don't you _ever_ compare me to him."

  


"Hai, hai," the boy nodded enthusiastically. "You're free to go. I won't stop you." 

  


Casting a suspicious eye at him but finding he was serious, she turned and slipped into the hallway. The boy did not follow her and she crept toward voices she heard in the distance.

  


Duo watched Kasai round the corner and as soon as the American girl was out of sight, he allowed his mask to fall. His lower lip trembled and he fell against the edge of the bed, sliding till his butt hit the floor. Knees tucked up to his chest, Shinigami hung his head and squeezed his eyes tightly together. 

  


***

  


The voices grew louder as Kasai followed them down the hallway. She stopped in front of a large panel of glass overlooking a padded room. Inside, two of the other Gundam pilots were conversing. 

  


"Duo went to see her," 03 was saying, hands shoved deep in his jean pockets.

  


05 shook his head, cleaning one of the many rapiers that hung on the wall. "Does Heero even know she's here?"

  


"No. I was going to go tell him and then check on Quatre again."

  


05 paused, looking pained. "Any change?"

  


"No," 03 repeated. "Whatever happened between Quatre and Kasai left him exhausted. Will you watch him while I go tell Heero?"

  


"As soon as I finish here," 05 nodded. "Which room?"

  


"The last one on the left."

  


Kasai didn't stay to hear the rest. She hurried past the two pilots and on down the hallway.

  


***

  


"Did she hear everything?"

  


"I think so. She's headed to Quatre's room."

  


"Should we-"

  


"No. She won't hurt him."

  


***

  


Kasai winced at the door creaked on its hinges. A small lamp shed light on the room sparsely furnished with a floppy mattress and chair and small bookcase in the corner. A thin body lay on the bed, covered in a quilt to the chin. Thick lashes feathered over the rounded cheeks; hair so blonde it was almost white surrounded the face. She swallowed, her chest swelling with a sudden intake of breath as the blonde boy stirred in his sleep.

  


_Stop fighting! Stop fighting!_

  


_Get out of my head! Please . . ._

  


Hands came up to clasp her forehead. Sweat beading her forehead, Kasai spun around to flea the room.

  


"D-Duo?" called a weak voice.

  


_Damn that braid_, Kasai thought, hunching her shoulders and turning to face the muddled eyes of the blonde boy, 04.

  


"No," she answered, lowering her hands. "No, it's-"

  


"Kasai?"

  


Her name being spoken by an enemy sent a flash of rage through her. The blonde boy's brows knotted and then he doubled over, cupping the area over his heart. For a second, she watched with horrible fascination and then the same sickening pain slammed into her too and she collapsed halfway across the bed. Their heavy breathing filled the room.

  


"What's - wrong - with me?" Kasai gasped. She felt a light hand on her shoulder and looked up at the blonde boy's sweat-dotted face. Amazingly he was . . . he was . . .

  


"Why are you smiling?" she asked suspiciously as the pain slowly faded away.

  


"Daijoubu ka?"

  


"Of course I'm fine," she snapped, pushing off the bed. "Why does everyone keep asking me that? I'm fine!"

  


His smile turned sad. "I'm glad to see you're okay after what happened . . ."

  


"I told you, I am fine." Kasai stared at the blonde boy laying so weakly among the sheets. "_You_apparently took it worse." _Whatever 'it' is,_ she thought ruefully.

  


"Don't you remember anything?"

  


Taken off guard, she sputtered, "J-just bits and pieces. Why?"

  


"Something happened the night you disappeared. Something like what happened yesterday."

  


Suddenly, her slender hands were gripping his own, her grey eyes now void of indifference. "I knew it, Quatre!" she breathed. "I knew you pilots were connected to my past! You know who I am! Please . . . tell me who I am."

  


The Sandrock pilot shook his head, cringing when her hopeful face fell. "You should ask Duo."

  


"Oh, _him_," she snorted, untangling her fingers from his and standing. "And why is that?"

  


"He was the first one of us to meet you."

  


"Uh-huh."

  


Quatre caught her wrist. "Why must we be enemies? We weren't before."

  


"I don't know about that." She twisted away from him. "You're my enemy because that's the path I've chosen." She cried out when Quatre lurched forward and grabbed the gun from her waistband. He shoved the barrel to his own chest, made her hand close around the trigger.

  


"Kill me then."

  


Kasai stared at him, confused. Her hand shook, but she pulled it away and threw the weapon onto the floor. "It is dishonorable to strike when the enemy is defenseless." She moved away from him, looking at the few books and photos on the bookcase.

  


"Did Zechs teach you that?"

  


"What?"

  


"About honor."

  


"Yeah," she said after a moment, looking back at him. "Mirialdo taught me many things."

  


Quatre raised up on his elbows. "Such as Japanese?"

  


"No . . ." she said, shaking her head. "Why?"

  


"You understood when I asked you how you were earlier." He whispered, "You knew some Japanese before you left."

  


Kasai was silent, staring at nothing. Then she gave a tiny smile that warmed Quatre's heart. "I guess maybe my memory's coming back after all."

  


***

  


A small light blinked in the lower right-hand corner of his laptop but the Japanese boy ignored it. For three years his search had been in vain and he saw no reason why this time would be any different. Scowling, he shut the computer with a click and set it aside.

  


"Kasai is back."

  


Heero glanced up at the tall boy crouched at the entrance to Wing Zero's cockpit. "I know," the pilot of that particular Gundam answered and pulled out the large screen. He touched some points, bring up a few grids.

  


"Zero sensed her body heat when she came within range," Heero explained to the Heavyarms pilot as his quick cobalt eyes scanned the contents. "There is also another 'heat' right here," he added, pointing. "The fading heat of a mobile suit that was just shut down."

  


"Kasai's Gundam?"

  


"No," he told Trowa. "It's too small to be a Gundam."

  


"But it is a mobile suit."

  


"Hai."

  


"I'll go check on Quatre."

  


"Hai."

  


The tall boy disappeared from the cockpit and a moment later, Heero heard the swoosh of the hangar door closing. The Japanese boy looked back at Wing Zero's screen, at the slowly dissipating heat source. He watched it finally vanish and pushed the screen away, standing. He leaned out and reached to grab the rope and swing to the floor.

  


"Nani?"

  


It was a faint beep, so faint only a trained ear such as the perfect soldier's could pick up. Heero let a frown escape from beneath his mask and bent on his knees to tug out the laptop. The beeping grew louder, definitely emitting from the small computer. When he flipped open the cover, the blinking light in the corner caught his attention, blinking in sync with the beeping.

  


Annoyed, he clicked on it just to shut the beeping up.

  


Large letters lit up the screen and those cold eyes widened.

  


_::SEARCH COMPLETE: ONE MATCH FOUND::_

  


***

  


Trowa was not surprised when he entered Quatre's room and found Kasai perched on the edge of his bed. The tall boy raised an eyebrow at the gun laying on the floor but said nothing about it. Disregarding the red-haired girl, he moved to Quatre's side.

  


"Heero called a meeting," he informed the blue-eyed pilot who nodded without question as Trowa pulled back the covers and slipped an arm about his lithe waist. Kasai hesitated but followed them out, wondering a bit nervously if 01 knew she was here yet.

  


01 and 05 were already in the room when they got there and leaned over a small laptop computer shedding a slickly green light over their grim faces.

  


_They could kill you in an instant_, a voice in Kasai's head told her and she inwardly shuddered. Yes, they could. And she could easily pick out the shapes of guns concealed in their clothing. _One shot and you wouldn't be able to even cry out_. The girl cursed herself silently but didn't slip out of the room when she had the chance, instead peering around 03's tall shoulder.

  


01 spoke without looking up. "There is a large warehouse located in block one-five-seven of Quadrant F, abandoned after the Peace Treaty was established. They are meeting there tonight before shifting their course. This is our only chance. We leave in fifteen minutes."

  


"Just enough time to ready our Gundams," 05 finished, black eyes gleaming.

  


Heero nodded. "Among other things."

  


A dead silence fell over the room, thick and heavy with restrained feelings. Kasai studied the four pilots' faces in turn, confused as to what had just happened unspoken between them.

  


"Oi, everybody!" came a cheerful call from the hallway. "I'm going into town if ya . . ." 02 fell silent, stopping suddenly in the doorway as if someone had pushed his 'pause' button. The keys he'd been holding clattered to the floor and rung shrilly. "Na-nani?" And then he too seemed to understand. "How long?"

  


"Fifteen minutes," replied 01 

  


"Fifteen minutes," the American boy echoed and swung his arms up over his head to clasp the back of his neck. "Not much time to say sayonara, eh, Heero ole buddy? Ah, oh well. It's payback time finally."

  


Reality hit Kasai like a run away train. They were talking about the terrorists, the organization that had assassinated Mirialdo's sister. But . . . but . . .sayonara?

  


_Oh gods, _she realized._ These pilots are planning a suicide mission._

  


_***_

  


The cabin seemed empty without Kasai's presence. Mirialdo walked into the hangar, noting that she had taken her mobile suit along with her. Tallgeese looked like a lonely white cloud . . . 

  


Using the rope, he swung up into the cockpit. A light beeped in the lower right-hand corner and the screen flashed when he clicked on it. He scanned the message and lowered his eyes. 

  


"It seems fate is not without a sense of humor. I will once again be fighting on the same side as the Gundams."

  


The roar of Tallgeese's warming engines filled the hangar.

  



	15. Suicide Mission

Chapter 15: Suicide Mission

  
_If I could feel_

_banish this coldness from my soul,_

_stop what some call heartless woe,_

_stop everything without a toll._

_If only I could . . ._

  


Kasai listened as the Gundam pilots made fast, last minute preparations before hurrying down a hallway she hadn't noticed before. There was a doorway at the end that hissed open when a code was keyed in. She might as well have been a ghost for all the attention they were paying to the girl and she slipped through the door behind them. 

  


She gasped, the sudden intake of breath loud in the echoing chamber. These suits were twice as big as Silverflame! Five pairs of eyes were immediately upon her and then four turned away as Heero Yuy uttered, "Leave."

  


Kasai wrenched her gaze from the towering mobile suits to 01. Her brow furrowed. "I want to go too."

  


The boy snorted and effortlessly shimmed up the leg of the Wing Zero. Taking a deep breath, Kasai touched the cool metal with a hand and then followed him up to the cockpit. 01 was sitting on the seat inside, punching different buttons and codes and pulling levers, and shot her an angry look.

  


"This is none of your business."

  


"Of course it is," she snapped back at him. "Those terrorists hurt my friend."

  


"Zechs? It was his own fault."

  


Kasai started to say something then reconsidered. "I'm not getting into a fight with you right now, 01. I'm going with you."

  


"You'll only get in the way."

  


"I didn't go through all that training," she said hotly. "And become a Gundam pilot for nothing."

  


01 fixed his eyes on her. "Do what you want." She scrambled out of the cockpit as it closed and slid down to the ground. Running to a safe distance to avoid being trampled on, the Silverflame pilot watched the other Gundams exit the hidden chamber in a rush of wind and exhaust heat. Then she turned and walked calmly to the door, breaking into a fierce sprint once outside.

  


***

  


_This is for you, Mirialdo._

  


A swift hand flew across the controls.

  


_And I'll fight for your slain sister._

  


Click as the safety harness snapped into place.

  


_And I'll fight for me!_

  


Small feet fell down on the pedals.

  


_My first real battle . . ._

  


A button pressed engaged the flight mode.

  


_I won't fail you, Mirialdo. I won't!_

  


Silverflame took off into the afternoon sky.

  


***

  


The large warehouse looked empty from the outside but once inside, a million excuses to want to blow the thing up would surface any pacifist's mind. Indeed the unnamed terrorist organization, calling themselves just that - UTO - had managed to build a vast empire of mobile suits and followers. The UTO had been silent before the former Queen Relena's assassination and had been silent since . . . except for now.

  


Now they were wanting to finish off the Gundam pilots. Hundreds of men rushed within the harmless-looking warehouse, preparing themselves for tonight. Tonight, the Gundams would be destroyed. Tonight, victory would be theirs. Tonight, they would finish what they started four years ago.

  


Heh, the fools. They had no idea what was waiting for them.

  


***

  


The small Gundam hovered motionless in the air. Sunset light glittered off silver red-tipped wings.

  


Thunk.

  


Kasai rested her forehead against the screen before her, eyes clenched shut. She didn't move, letting the sharp ache she'd given herself fade away. 

  


_Well,_ she thought, twinged with hysterical humor. _*This* is stupid._

  


The girl let out a frustrated noise and slammed a fist into the side of the tiny cockpit, hurting her own knuckles.

  


"Not funny at all," she clicked, musing aloud. "Argh! I'm wasting my time!" Raising up, she eyed the glowing screen. "Where is it?" She gritted her teeth. "Damn it all, Silverflame! Can't you just tap into-"

  


"AAAIIIIILLLLLEEEEE!!!!!! YATTA! THIS IS DUO HERE!"

  


Kasai clapped her hands over her ears and fumbled to turn the comm link's volume down. Even set on low, 02's voice rattled off the metal walls.

  


"I've destroyed the bastards' front line! More are coming and they're tougher than we- hey buddy! Yamero! Stop it! That's- my- arm- you're pulling- ACK! YAMERO! _STOP IT!_ Where the HELL is backup?! I need _BACKUP_!"

  


The boy went into a string of blabbering and Kasai's patience snapped. She jabbed her own comm with her thumb and yelled, "Shut up already and tell me where you are!"

  


There was a 'plop' as Duo's mouth slammed shut. Then she heard his uncertain voice call out.

  


"K-Kasai? Is that you?"

  


"Who else would it be, _baka_?"

  


"Well, I don't know. I thought maybe Heero got hurt somewhere that made his voice rise a few octaves."

  


"Haha," she said sardonically. "If you want help, I need you to give me the location of the warehouse." Kasai could almost see the insistent shaking of the boy's head even before he told her 'no way.' "Come on, Duo!" she found herself whining. "I'm going to help! And if you won't tell me where you are, I'll just drive this thing around and around until I end up there!"

  


"What thing?" Silence as she let the American figure it out for himself. Then he was yelling at her. "Are you CRAZY??! There's NO way I'm letting you anywhere near here in Gundam Negative 01! I looked up some stuff about it, Kasai, and they scrapped him-"

  


"Her," she corrected.

  


"Her! They scrapped her for good reason! It's not equipped to handle battles, Kasai. It never was meant for entering a real fight. That's why she's so small! You can't come here in Negative 01. It's too dangerous! I won't let you!"

  


Kasai sat back in Silverflame's cockpit, hands resting on her thighs. She smiled and flipped a switch, lifting her focused grey eyes on the coordinates that appeared on screen. 

  


"Too late, 02," she said softly. "Back up is on the way." She severed connection before he could say a word and swiftly turned Silverflame around before the boy had a chance to do anything about it.

  


Duo cursed and flopped back onto the seat with an exasperated sigh. Did that girl really think she could be of help in a fight like this? He glanced warily at Deathscythe's calculations and let out a groan. Much more damage and Shinigami wouldn't be of much help aside from blowing himself up. Duo grimaced. As much as he hated to, it all might boil down to self destruction in the end. 

  


The American looked up at Wing Zero standing motionless, having landed in response to Duo's call for help. Heero's blanked face blurred up on Deathscythe's screen and Duo got the feeling that his conversation with Kasai had been heard by the others too.

  


"We don't have time to worry about her, Duo," Heero said without emotion. 

  


Duo blinked, then shrugged. "Worry about who? The only people _I'm_ worrying about are me, myself, and the God of Death."

  


No reply came from the Japanese pilot as cobalt eyes gazed cooly at him. Heero's face winked out and Wing Zero proceeded to slice cleanly through incoming mobile suits.

  


"Oi, Heero!" laughed Duo. "Always coming to my rescue, ne?"

  


The other boy didn't answer. Out of the air appeared two of the others, also responding to the American's call. An explosion burst over his head just before the Shenlong touched ground and Heavyarms quickly followed, pumping mobile suits full of bullets. Duo, still pleased with himself, activated Deathscythe's, er, scythe and brought hell down upon the enemy.

  


***

  


Nothing Mirialdo had done could have prepared Kasai for what she saw through her screens. She remembered his stories about the wars and how the Gundams had completed their missions with calm efficiency. But this . . . this was a massacre.

  


_I've seen suits like these before,_ she suddenly perceived, staring at the grey dots zipping around the other Gundams. _But . . . but . . . I've never-_

  


Shock hit her like a rolling wave. _Yes, I have. I have! I've seen mobile suits like these before, and not just in pictures. My memories . . . are my memories coming back to me?_

  


With renewed confidence, Kasai angled Silverflame to the ground and the fury below. She could see the suits in her head and if she remembered correctly, their weakest point had to be right . . . here . . . Silverflame's red-fringed saber stabbed through the middle of an attacking mobile suit, extracting sparks that lit up the growing night like fireflies. The enemy homed in on this new assailant, sending more mobile suits her way. By the fourth one, her arms and legs were on fire but she only smiled and tightened his grip on the handles.

  


_Destroying the enemy . . . now _this_ feels good. _

  


***

  


The tiny Gundam had appeared amidst them, annihilating enemy suits on its path to the Earth in an unexpected yet graceful manner. Unmistakably, it _was_ indeed another Gundam; a quick scan affirmed that the make of the suit was identical to their own Gundams in almost every way. Except the too-small frame and silver wings arched from its back. The Gundam boys' first instinct was to attack and when the other pilots raced forward, Duo hung back behind them.

  


_Is that Kasai?_

  


Seeing three large Gundams rushing toward her sent Kasai into a near panic. Of course they could destroy her in one blast of a canon or one sweep of a beam saber. Silverflame was made out of the same tough stuff as them but sheer bulk could easily overpower her.

  


Kasai slapped her palm over the comm and said as steadily as she could, "I am pilot Negative 01 of the Gundam Silverflame."

  


At the sound of her voice, the others reared back sharply and came to a halt, eyeing her suspiciously.

  


_Silverflame,_ Duo thought. _So that's what she calls that thing. She shouldn't be here!_

  


"Kasai!" Duo's voice cracked. "I told you not to come!"

  


"Is that really Kasai?" asked Trowa uncertainly.

  


Heero clenched the Wing Zero's controls. _My enemy_.

  


"And I told you that I intend to help out one way or another!" Kasai snapped back at Duo.

  


"That's her alright," muttered Wufei. Louder, he said, "The enemy's front line has been destroyed, Kasai, and they're trying to build up another one while the remaining back up troops try to overpower us by mere crushing force. We are trying to find their base but they are keeping it well hidden. If just one of us could get inside the warehouse, then we could destroy them all."

  


Silverflame stood taller and Kasai amusingly felt the need for a salute. Instead, she laughed, the foreign sound ringing in their ears. "I hear ya. So that's the plan. This is Negative, over and out. Oh, and by the way, Chang Wufei, I demand a rematch soon. Ja!"

  


Her comment startled everyone. Especially Kasai herself who, after saying such a random thing, held a trembling hand to her forehead and wondered where the hell _that_ had come from.

  



	16. Don't Self Destruct!

Chapter 16: Don't Self Destruct!

  


_If I could fight_

_shove my misery on someone_

_kill till my enemies equal none_

_slice my way to the sun_

_If only I could . . ._

  


The area was chaotic in a psychopathic sort of way. UTO's forces had nearly tripled since the horrific day five years ago and the Gundam pilots were clearly on the defensive, now battling only to save their own lives.

  


Kasai suddenly found herself cornered by nearly a dozen mobile suits all at once. The others were nearby, but not close enough to be of any help. The scarlet-haired girl dropped Silverflame's artillery weapon and pulled out the small beam saber Mirialdo had taught her to use. She brandished the saber, gouging any enemies that closed the little distance between her and them. The situation had gone from bad to hopeless and she felt an nagging itch in her sweaty palm.

  


_No, no, no! It's a chicken pilot's way out, remember, Kasai? You can't!_

  


But what choice did she have? 

  


Gulping past the lump in her throat, Kasai reached over to-

  


//_The button gives you five minutes to get out. This hand-held device self-destructs the Gundam automatically.//_

  


-snatch up the cold cylinder. Mirialdo had reactivated this particular suicidal system after she learned how to control Silverflame. He'd done it to show her he trusted her. He'd done it so she'd have the option.

  


_Oh gods, I wish I didn't have the option . . ._

  


Kasai quietly thumbed the device, and then quickly had to lay it in her lap to defend herself against a brave mobile suit. A chicken pilot's way out . . . and now she was taking it.

  


"Sayonara, Mirialdo," she whispered to nobody. "Goodbye Duo. I'm sorry."

  


She raised the device to eye level, blocking the enemy from her sight. She set her jaw and . . . pressed in the button.

  


Nothing happened.

  


Over the comm link came a voice she didn't think she'd ever hear again. A soft, smooth voice that had kept her company for nearly a year. "There is always another choice, love."

  


"Mirialdo!" she cried, falling back in her seat with indescribable relief. The forgotten self destruct mechanism rolled out of her hand and clattered onto the floor. "You're here! But- but how?"

  


The man chuckled, the deep note rumbling around her. "Heero Yuy is not the only one who searched for the Unnamed Terrorist Organization. How are you fairing?"

  


"I've been better," she admitted.

  


"I had hoped you would not follow the pilots here."

  


"You understand, though?" she asked gingerly.

  


"Perfectly," he replied with a slight sigh.

  


Kasai smiled brief, the shock wave from a nearby blast rattling her world. "Ne, Mirialdo, where are you?"

  


"A half mile away." A pause. "A quarter . . ."

  


A moment later she spied the snowy figure of the Tallgeese emerging above the treetops. She heard his harsh battle cry and watched him slice thru the enemy that had brought him so much pain before she snapped out of it and cut down those left disorientated in his fierce wake.

  


"I had not wanted to make you a fighter, Kasai," the former OZ official said softly.

  


"I know."

  


A massive explosion caught Kasai's attention and she witnessed Gundam 02 stumble back. It hooked the sickly green scythe into a tree to keep from tumbling over and regained its footing. Its other shoulder was a smoking entanglement of black alloy. 

  


Kasai pressed her private comm. "Duo! You okay?!"

  


"I'm fine," was the shaky response. "Shinigami isn't defeated _that_ easily. HEEYAH!" Deathscythe swiftly annihilated the suit that had dared to provoke him.

  


Kasai shook her head at him, flipping long bangs from her vision. She debated for a moment, then opened the comm link to every pilot.

  


"Mirialdo is here."

  


_That_ got their attention.

  


"My enemy."

  


". . ."

  


"WOMAN! Do you have ANY idea-"

  


"He dares show his face here?! Of all the low, sneaky, yellow-bellied-"

  


"Would you all just SHUT UP?!" Kasai exclaimed over their outbursts, anger flaring within her. "Mirialdo knows he made a mistake. I've watched him curse himself for it! Isn't that enough?! It's been five years since your lost and still you point fingers like children! You have the opportunity right now to crush the people _really_ responsible for the assassination. Are you going to take it? Or are you going to sit there and throw stones at the past?"

  


"You have no idea-"

  


"Don't I, Wufei?" she spat at the stunned Chinese pilot who lapsed into silence. "What happened was a mistake, a mistake Mirialdo won't let himself be forgiven of until this is all over." Kasai bowed her head and flipped on the visual. Her grey eyes smouldered. "I understand Mirialdo's grief. And I- I understand yours as well." Her grim sigh filled their cockpits. "I may not have my memory fully back but-"

  


A new onslaught of enemy suits cut into her words and the solemn air was broken. Bright fireballs and explosions lit up the freshly darkened air. The possibility of suicide popped up into her head again but she pushed from her mind it albeit a bit frantically. Thanks to Mirialdo, she was still alive. She wouldn't throw that away.

  


With a dark cry, she blasted the suits around her and swerved Silverflame to join the other Gundam pilots in battle. Mirialdo did not follow, preferring to attack the UTO outskirts rather that face those he also hated.

  


Discernible.

  


"Blow up already!" Kasai yelled at a stubborn grey enemy suit whose bulk blocked her viewpoint. White and red sparks scattered in all directions and she squinted against the sudden fireball. Adrenalin rushing, she made quick work of two injured others and let one chase her round the battlegrounds before making him blow up too.

  


"Ano . . . she fights well despite the restrictions of that frail Gundam," brooded Wufei as the girl fought.

  


"She had a good trainer," Heero put in and they all knew that was true.

  


Kasai was getting pushed more and more up in the air, away from the others. She gritted her teeth at a shattering blow. _You stupid baka,_ she howled inside. _I'm going to get you . . ._

  


_Baka?! Since when do _I_ know . . ._

  


She slashed downward with her saber but the mobile suit dodged it and beat upon her again. Red warnings flashed around her.

  
  


::System Malfunction::

  


::Flying capabilities at 25%::

  
  


Kasai cursed under her breath. _I'll get you! _She spun Silverflame onto her back, facing up at the sky. Tugging out her small blaster, she levelled it at the mobile suit and fired. The enemy went up in flames. 

  


Even as she fell to the ground screaming, "Yatta! Yatta!" she laughed because the Japanese words were no longer unfamiliar to her.

  


***

  


Trowa braced himself against another ruthless assault, Heavyarms stumbling back a few yards. "There is a certain strategy to their attacks."

  


"Ne, Trowa?" quipped Duo, straining to get around crowding enemies. "Whaddya mean?"

  


"Well, as I see it, the enemy is attempting to separate us."

  


"Yeah, yeah, divide and conquer. I get it. But . . . so?"

  


"So," concluded Wufei, fixing a scowl on his face. "Once we're separated, they go in for the kill, _baka_. And with the sheer amount of their forces, that may be possible."

  


"It _is_ possible," Trowa corrected quietly. Then a thought gripped him and his insides grew cold. "Where is Quatre?"

  


Duo shrugged. "I haven't seen him in a while. I just figured . . ." The Deathscythe pilot faltered. "You don't suppose . . ."

  


A quick scan confirmed it. Sandrock was down. 

  


_Quatre, where *are* you?_

  


***

  


Kasai raised Silverflame painstakingly up from the scorched ground. All the memories rushing back were confusing her but still she rejoiced. They were coming back! She wanted to cry and laugh at the same time.

  


Then she noticed the Gundam fending over a continuous onslaught of enemy suits by itself. The yellowish alloy was battle-scarred but she still recognized which one it was.

  


Sandrock.

  


_"I believe you, Kasai!"_

  


_"K-Kasai, is that really you?"_

  


_"Why must we be enemies? We weren't before."_

  


Even before her lip quivered, tears ran in steams down her cheeks. Quatre. Dear, kind Quatre. They were tied together, her friend. _Oh, Quatre, the pain. Will it ever end?_

  


"K-Kasai?" came a faint voice from over the comm. "I- I don't . . . You're-"

  


"Gundam Negative 01," she finished for him. "I don't believe you've been introduced. This is Silverflame, Quatre, _my_ Gundam. You didn't believe me before."

  


"I believed you," he said softly. "But where are the others? Are they alright?"

  


"They're fine for now. It's not safe right here, Quatre."

  


"I know. Sandrock's maneuverability systems are down. I can't get out and I won't leave the suit to the enemy."

  


"I understand," she answered quietly. Silence floated between them and then suddenly Kasai felt an intense need to say something. "You make good tea!" she blurted.

  


"You- you remember that?"

  


"Yeah," she said, blushing. "I just got this feeling of, I don't know. They're just shadows, really. Little snips of my past that keep appearing."

  


Quatre was silent for so long, Kasai began to grow worried. When the little blonde spoke again, his face materialized on screen. Blue eyes shimmered starkly against the dark background of Sandrock's cockpit. He seems on the verge of crying. Then his face crinkled. He made a muffled noise and doubled over. Kasai's eyes widened and she felt the sudden pain in her chest. She clasped her hands over her heart, grasping great breaths to get needed air. Quatre's own harsh breathing was loud to her ears and she pushed up with a shaky hand to smash her fist against a wide button. The sounds of nearby fighting blasted through the open cockpit door, winds tugging furiously at her thick braid.

  


"Quatre," she moaned, senses hazy. The world tipped over as Silverflame leaned forward and let Kasai fall the few yards to the ground. She drew herself to her feet, stumbling a little when another searing pain pierced her chest.

  


Sandrock loomed just beside her and the two battered Gundams formed a shield over the girl. A few more steps and Kasai climbed up the massive knee to the panel that hissed open. The enemy kept on shooting above, trying to blister the backs of their Gundams. One shot hit too close by and tossed Kasai, screaming, into Sandrock's cockpit.

  


The warmth of a body was beneath her and she met Quatre's pain-glazed eyes. Amazingly, he was smiling and with a sob she threw her arms around him, burying her face against his small waist. The little Arab stroked her flaming hair, cooing softly until she calmed down enough for her to realize what an awkward position she was in. His breathing was unnervingly shallow in her ear.

  


"Are you hurt? Quatre?" she asked and he shook his head, still smiling kindly. Noting his lie, she rested her head gently on his knees, not wanting to move from his warm presence nor ask him just how badly he was injured.

  


"Why did you come here, Kasai?" His voice was quiet, peaceful, like an angel inquiring why the clouds bore rain. He already knew the answer but the answer needed to be heard all the same.

  


"To help," she said simply. "To make sure we all get out of this alive."

  


Quatre nodded but the small hand on her hair stopped and drifted to her shoulder. The light pressure there made her straighten and look up into his face.

  


"Even Heero?"

  


"01 . . . that will be decided when the situation comes," she answered a bit coldly.

  


A sigh escaped Quatre. "Do you blame Heero for the loss of your memory?"

  


"I know he had something to do with it but I don't know how exactly yet." And that closed the subject.

  


Tilted his head to the side, Quatre listened to the battle outside for a while and for the first time she noticed the trickle of red on the boy's temple.

  


"You're bleeding, Quatre."

  


"Am I?" Her concern brought another smile to the boy's face, his hand though frail on her shoulder. "They need my help out there."

  


"No," she said, getting to her feet. "I'm going to get you to safety first before I rejoin them."

  


He caught her wrist, cupping her hand between his own. His eyes pleaded with her now, pleaded with her to leave the fighting to those who had been engineered to fight. Then his gaze shifted behind her, eyes enlarging into two startled blue orbs.

  


"Z-Zechs!"

  


Kasai jerked her head around and made a choked sound, a sound of relief. "Mirialdo!" He stood in the cockpit entryway, white gloves on his hands, a ruffle at his neck, black boots shining, and long grey cloak billowing out behind him. Her feet ached to move toward the blonde man but she remembered who was seated behind her and just how great of enemies the Gundam pilots and the former OZ official were. "Mirialdo," she repeated, giving him a stern look. "You cannot hurt this boy."

  


Without question, Mirialdo replied, "If that is what you wish. The pilot of Sandrock appears injured enough as is. This area is too dangerous to stay in much longer, Kasai, and I fear our terrorist friends-" he practically spat the word, "-outnumber us forty to one. I want you to take Silverflame and assist the other pilots while I finish here." He glanced across the cockpit at the silent Quatre. "If you trust me, Kasai."

  


"I trust you," the red-haired girl said automatically. And she did. She did with all her heart. Turning back to Quatre, she winced at the tears kissing his round cheeks. _Does it hurt him to see me so familiar with Mirialdo? I'm sure it hurt Duo._

  


_Ah, Duo . . ._

  


Kasai knelt at Quatre's side, thumbing away the dull scarlet line at his temple, and reached over to press her cool cheek against his.

  


"Don't cry," she whispered in his ear. "Mirialdo is an honorable man. You'll see me again after the battle." _Hopefully alive,_ she didn't add. She pulled away, feeling the wet warmth his tears left, gave Mirialdo a fleeting smile, and ducked out of the cramped space. 

  


They heard the girl lift off in her small Gundam and the sounds of battle became more apparent and shattering with the extra metal shield gone. The former OZ official stared at the explosions going off too close by and turned aqua eyes to Quatre when the boy spoke, young voice clearer than before.

  


"I don't care about my own life, Zechs, but Kasai-"

  


"Is inexperienced in battle, yes," the older man spoke smoothly. "She can hold her own though, long enough. She is a strong soul."

  


"Hai," Quatre agreed wanly, softening a little. He raised his head, eyes sliding painfully close. "If you're going to do it, do it now where she doesn't have to see."

  


Silence. Then, "She bid me not to. I sent her away because Silverflame cannot hold your Gundam's weight and its own. My Tallgeese has more than enough strength."

  


Blue eyes flashed surprise, followed quickly by gratitude. The young pilot grasped the controls in weak hands. Seeing he understood, Mirialdo turned on his heel, platinum fraying.

  


"Zechs?"

  


A raised eyebrow and a look.

  


"Thank you."

  


The man inclined his head ever so slightly and his dark shadow was gone.

  


Minutes later, Sandrock clung to Tallgeese's great bulk as the white prototype bore him to safety.

  


_I should have self-detonated,_ the little Arab thought remorsefully. But the message still rang in his head. Kasai's message when she had pressed her cheek to his.

  


Don't, don't self detonate.

  


_I will honor that._


	17. Going After Memories

Chapter 17: Going After Memories

  


_If I could self-destruct_

_and press that button against my thumb,_

_erase myself till I am past numb,_

_I'd start my life to a different drum_

_If only I could . . ._

  


Heero Yuy's nimble fingers flashed across the Wing Zero's controls. The outside battle against the enemy mobile suits had already swiftly dimming and the remaining few were of no concern to him. Cobalt eyes narrowed in concentration; sweat formed beneath his unruly bangs as he searched.

  


"There it is."

  


_Sitting in the kitchen, sipping tea as they usually did on missionless days. The silence was peaceful, for once, until Quatre spoke._

  


_"Heero, since the wars are over, why do we still fight?"_

  


_A simple question and yet Heero had to searched for what to say. He did what he had to do: give a soldier's answer. "We are crushing those who persist to fight, Quatre. When the enemies are gone, *then* there will be no more fighting."_

  


_Quatre seemed to accept that, and the silence filled their heads once again._

  


Wing Zero blasted away in a cloud of grey dust and vanished toward the direction of the large warehouse they had ignored so far.

  


_You will die. You will all die._

  


***

  


No one called Heero back or asked him where he was going. They already knew. The battle seemed to be slowing down, much to their weary relief, and when the last enemy suit screamed, "for UTO!" before exploding, the five of them slumped back in their Gundams. Tallgeese had disappeared during the fury.

  


"Kasai?" came Duo over the comm. "Do you-"

  


"No," was the faint interjection. "I don't know where Mirialdo went. But he told me Quatre is behind those trees over there."

  


"Aa. I see him. Trowa, can you go make sure he's all right?"

  


"Hai."

  


Duo could hear Kasai breathing faintly. "Are you okay?"

  


"I just need some fresh air." Silverflame's cockpit popped open and Kasai's thin frame crawled to steady ground. She wanted to kiss that burn-scorched dirt but a shadow falling over her made her stop.

  


"Is it always like that?" she asked the Chinese boy without looking up.

  


"It depends on how strong the enemy is," Wufei stated, but she shook her head.

  


"No, I mean, do you always have to shut yourself up inside so you can destroy others?."__

  


She felt the boy's onyx eyes on her. "Yes, you do."

  


"I don't want to anymore."

  


"Neither do I."

  


Kasai straightened, wiping the moisture from her lashes and fixing her cool grey eyes on Wufei.

  


"Then don't."

  


Inclining his head, the Chinese boy said, "You . . . remember our duel."

  


"Yeah," she nodded and looked away. "I remember."

  


"Does Maxwell know?"

  


"No."

  


Catching sight of the said American bounding toward them, Wufei added, "It is not my place to meddle, however . . ." He let the word hang in the air and walked back toward the Shenlong, ignoring the loud slap of Maxwell's hand against his bare shoulder as he passed.

  


Duo waved madly and ran to Kasai. He looked like he was about to throw his arms around her and rechecked himself. _She doesn't remember,_ he told himself yet again.__

  


The expression on Duo's face was easy for Kasai to catch. She saw how his hands twitched at his sides, the longing in those violet depths. This whole lost memory thing had hurt him badly and she'd never wanted to hurt him. Never. And yet, she remembered, that's all she seemed to do. Needing to look away, Kasai trailed her eyes to the others: Wufei by Shenlong, Trowa supporting Quatre, and Heero- 

  


She turned sharply around. "Where's 01?"

  


Duo's eyebrows crinkled. "He went inside."

  


"Inside?" she echoed. "Inside where?"

  


The braided boy waved a hand. "Somewhere in that direction. In the warehouse."

  


_I knew it! _her mind screamed. _01, I'm coming after you once and for all!_

  


"Kasai, are you planning something?"

  


She disregardedhis question. "I want you to stay here."

  


"What're you-" Violet eyes widened. "Baka! You're not going in there alone!"

  


She put her hands on his shoulders, holding him back at arms' length. "I have to do this on my own."

  


"But- but- _demo-_" She suddenly took the words away in a breath by hugging him tightly. His arms flailing about a little, Duo let himself sink into the embrace. He felt too needy, too wanting for this comfort, but she tensed with the added pressure of his arms around her. Regretfully, he pulled back, a slow sigh escaping himself. Her hazy grey eyes held confusion and determination and kindness and many others that had no name.

  


She leaned closer, stood on tiptoe, and he thought for an insane moment that she was going to kiss him. Her lips fluttered to his ears and she whispered so low he strained to hear, "Omoidatta."__

  


And then she was running away from him before he could do anything but stare dumbfounded at her fading scarlet braid.

  


Omoidatta. I remember. 

  


With a squeak, Duo stumbled back and hurried to tell the others.

  


***

  
  


_Gomen ne, minna-sama, for the horribly short chapter. I'm terrible at fighting scenes. _

  



	18. Killing the Past

Chapter 18: Killing the Past

  


_If I could kill you,_

_begin a streak of unending luck,_

_give all my pain an inward tuck,_

_instead I'm stuck, instead I'm stuck!_

_If only I could . . ._

  


Last one.

  


Heero sat back on his heels, rechecking his handiwork. The hand-switch lay cool against his palm and his thumb twisted almost impatiently. A gun clicking from behind snapped his head around. Dim light from the hall created the familiar silhouette of Kasai. He straightened slowly, noting her glazed eyes and expressionless face.

  


"This is all your fault," she said in a deadly voice, the weapon not wavering.

  


Cobalt eyes stared at her. "I know."

  


Kasai blinked, her hand faltering slightly. "You . . . you mean you knew this whole time? Why- why didn't you-" Tears stung her eyes fiercely. "Why didn't you say something? Gods, Heero! What did they think? That I had run away? That I had fled into the night just after quitting my job at OFRMS?"

  


Heero drew in a breath, unmoving. "You remember everything now?"

  


"Yeah," she snapped angrily, raising the gun again. "You let Duo think I had abandoned him, didn't you,_01_?" When he didn't answer, she barked a harsh laugh. "That's what I thought." Her finger tightened, fist white knuckled. "I'm going to kill you, Heero Yuy, for what you did to me."

  


"Hai." She watched uncertainly as he closed the distance between them, grasped the handgun with one hand, and pressed the barrel against his own forehead. "I am to blame. Shoot me."

  


Kasai wet her lips. She saw the need for his own death in the boy's eyes. The need to die. The need for her to take her revenge. "Heero," she said quietly. "The night I . . . disappeared . . . more happened than you know."

  


"Iie. I know what happened. Quatre kept having chest pains and refused to let me tell anyone about them. The night you disappeared, and he started having another attack, I suspected you were suffering from the same."

  


Kasai's voice wavered, startled that he had known and startled that he had offered so many words all at once. "I was. I- I became scared and disorientated. It was raining and I . . . lost all comprehension. When I woke, I was in Mirialdo's cabin. I didn't know anything. Not a thing, Heero. I felt like . . . like everything I was had been erased. You know how that feels, Heero?"

  


He nodded, the gun bobbing with the movement. 

  


"I'm tired of it all, Heero, so tired. I want to end it all. I- I _will_ end it all."

  


_So be it_. Heero let his eyes fall close. Kasai looked at his calm face, the resolution written all over it, and let her index finger clench. Her eyes squeezed shut; the shots rang out in the room as she emptied the cartridge.

  


Ears ringing from the loud noise, Kasai cracked grey eyes open to meet Heero's steady cobalt ones. 

  


"I killed you."

  


The boy nodded, once, and took the empty weapon out of her fist even as her legs gave way beneath her. He tensed a little when her head fell against his shoulder. 

  


"The shots will have alerted the enemy," Kasai said, her voice slightly muffled in his shirt.

  


"Hai."

  


"It will be hard to escape now."

  


"Hai."

  


"I'm all out of bullets." She paused. "So are you."

  


"Can you walk?"

  


She slowly raised up, wavering only slightly. "I'm a Gundam pilot."

  


Heero studied her and then searched through his backpack as he spoke. "There is a window down this hall and up a flight of stairs." He pushed a small box into her palm. "Take this. When you jump from the window, press this button and the parachute will break your fall."

  


She looked up, startled, to meet that gaze of steel. "Do you have one too?"

  


"Go now. I'll hold them off long enough." That didn't exactly answer her question.

  


Actually, it had.

  


"No, Heero."

  


"There is no time left to argue. Go." He turned away from her, shaping together some more makeshift explosives that would serve their purpose.

  


She stared at his bent head. _Go, Kasai. Save yourself. Go, Kasai. Leave the boy responsible for your amnesia to die. Save your own wretched life. Go!_

  


"No!" she said loudly, the word echoing in the dim room. Walking to his side, she forcibly pushed him back so she could see his face. Rather, he let her. "Mirialdo once told me that you follow the futures Wing Zero shows you. I didn't tell you before, but Silverflame showed me a future too. She showed both of us getting out of this alive." A toss of her hand and the box rattled to the floor. "I can't get out alone and neither can the great Heero Yuy, without getting caught."

  


A vein in his jaw twitched. "Let's go."

  


Gathering the explosives, they fled from the room, Heero taking one last glance at the bullet holes in the far wall.

  


***

  


Five bombs left. Four bombs left. Three bombs left. They were quickly running out of the miniature explosives. After realizing he couldn't go back the way he came in, Heero grabbed Kasai's hand and dragged her almost blindly through twisting corridors. Those guards Heero couldn't take out with a silent hit to the back of the head, he blew to bits, but that option was slowly being depleted. 

  


"I can't run anymore! Heero!" Kasai wrenched her wrist out of Heero's grasp and slumped against a wall, struggling to catch her breath. "I can't!"

  


He nodded and let her rest a moment while he kept lookout around the corner. "Three straight ahead. Five to the left. Two to the right." He held out his hand, the last bomb nestled in his palm. Cobalt eyes met gray. Kasai fell to her knees and covered her head just as Heero tossed the bomb in the middle of the soldiers. Smoke and debris rushed past them. Heero ducked his head and peered into the dust. "Stay close."

  


He started off around the corner and she stayed on his heels, probably too close because he hissed once for more room to move. Kasai's vision was obscured and she trusted Heero to know where he was going because _she_ sure didn't know. 

  


"Uh, Heero?"

  


"Quiet."

  


"Yeah. That's nice and all but I feel like we're going in circles."

  


"We are almost here," he retorted. "Now, quiet."

  


Kasai lapsed into silence. Her side ached from running so much but Heero's pace only quickened. Up ahead she began to see a light flickering; daylight poured through the open hangar. A wave of relief washed over her and without thinking she burst in front of Heero, sprinting to the hazy glow.

  


She heard Heero curse behind her and turned back to grab his hand when a shot rang out. Her side lip up with hot flame and she tumbled to the cold floor. Heero knocked the gun from the soldier and swiftly finished off him and his comrades who came running at the loud noise. Tucking the weapon in his waistband, Heero knelt beside the still girl. Her side was bathed in bright scarlet. Fluidly, he ripped his shirt and bound the bullet wound tightly to slow the bleeding. 

  


At the soft touch, Kasai's grey eyes slid open. "Heero?" she whispered. "I'm a baka."

  


"Be quiet until we get out of here."

  


She laughed softly. "Hurts like . . . hell." Her face grew pale and her breathing came out in little labored pants. "Tell Duo and- and Mirialdo for me . . . that I . . . I . . ."

  


Heero bent and picked up the lithe body, carrying the unconscious girl the rest of the way.

  


***

  


Daylight. 

  


Instantly, Heero clenched his fist. A wave of explosions burst through the warehouse, consuming everything and everyone in its wake. The Japanese boy quickened his pace, Kasai's head bouncing along his chest roughly, and got as far away as he could before the whole building collapsed in on itself.

  


_It's over. It's finished. It's all over._

  


Heero turned his gaze to the other pilots rushing toward him.

  


_No more. It's over._

  


Heero sank to his knees in the dust, catching himself with an arm to keep from falling on the limp girl.

  


"Heero!" A black-clad figure bent down beside them, violet eyes looking from Kasai to Heero, back to Kasai. "Is she okay?"

  


"Aa."

  


"Heero, she remembers everything now."

  


"Aa."

  


"The others are all okay too."

  


Heero didn't bother replying. Wufei glanced over at him and stooped to pick up the unconscious Kasai while Duo slung an arm around Heero's waist and supported him. Trowa, half carrying a pale Quatre, trailed silently behind. Wufei suddenly made a choked noise and stopped.

  


"Zechs Merquise," he hissed under his breath.

  


The others caught up with the Chinese pilot, staring up at the white Tallgeese standing between them and their Gundams.

  


_Oh, shit._ Duo took a step forward. "What the hell do _you_ want?"

  


The Tallgeese answered by raising a thermal-powered blaster and pointing it at the small group. Chest heaving, Quatre broke away from Trowa and stumbled to the front.

  


"Stop it, Zechs!" the small boy cried. "Kasai's down here too! If you're going to kill us at least let us take her to safety first." His fellow pilots incredulously at him. Then Wufei grunted in acceptance and made a move to carry Kasai out of the way.

  


It was Heero who stepped forward, stopping Wufei, and emitting a squeak from Duo. The Wing pilot moved away from them until he stood beneath the looming Tallgeese.

  


"The enemy is dead, Zechs," he said flatly. "You're not my enemy anymore." Tense silence followed until Quatre broke it with his soft voice.

  


"When there are no more enemies, there are no more battles to be fought."

  


Tallgeese lowered the massive weapon; the cockpit opened and the object of all their past hate stepped out onto the platform. His platinum blonde locks fanned out behind him, flashing aqua eyes flickering briefly over Kasai.

  


"Then I no longer have a reason to fight as well, Gundams." The former OZ official half-turned, laying a gloved hand against the cockpit entrance. "Is she unhurt?"

  


"Only a shallow wound. She's fine," Heero answered.

  


Mirialdo nodded slightly. "Then I take my leave. I'm bringing Kasai's Gundam along with me so that it does not fall into the wrong hands."

  


"Do what you want with it. That thing should never have been rebuilt."

  


A small upturn of lips. "Perhaps, Heero Yuy, perhaps. But then how would this battle have ended, if Silverflame had not been rebuilt?"

  


No answer came from the stoic Japanese pilot. Mirialdo gave them one last look and gracefully entered Tallgeese. A blast from the exhaust and both suits vanished.

  


Finally, the battle was over. Finally, both the dead and the living could rest.

  


***

  


_The scene where Kasai shoots at Heero is similiar to the scene in Endless Waltz where Heero shoots an empty gun at Mariemaria. The line "Hurts like . . . hell" by Kasai is similiar to Heero's infamous line "Dying hurts like hell." Both were used intentionally. ^_^_

  



	19. Bandaged Wounds

Chapter 19: Bandaged Wounds

  


_If I could make peace,_

_there'd be a point to coming east_

_repay my debts in the least_

_calm this crazy, insane beast_

_If only I could . . ._

  


She was warm. Very warm and very comfortable. She didn't want to move. Eyes still shut, she wiggled a little sorely under the heavy blanket pulled snugly up to her chin. Her back touched the folds of someone's shirt and she stiffened.

  


Grey eyes tentavily opened, adjusting to the sunlight struggling behind drawn curtains, and fixed themselves on the sleeping face of Quatre. Part of the warmth was coming from his curled up body and at her back . . . She twisted to try and see who it was, but a flash of pain in her side dissuaded her.

  


"You were shot," a voice near the foot of the bed informed her.

  


Kasai peered over the blanket at Wufei who was propped up in an over-stuffed chair, an open book resting in his lap. Several bandages covered him in various places, tokens from the battle.

  


"Is-" She cleared her throat and tried again. "Is everyone still alive?"

  


Wufei studied her face for a moment. "Aa. You and Quatre were hurt the worse of all of us."

  


Kasai settled back down and turned to the little Arab. A bandage curved underneath his blonde bangs and she could lightly feel several more along his ribs and abdomen.

  


"Is he okay?"

  


"As far as we can tell," Wufei answered. "When we returned to De Conte, he and Duo refused to leave your side. Finally we got Quatre's wounds dressed and he insisted on staying with you. He's been asleep ever since."

  


"Oh?" She gazed fondly at the blonde. "He'll be fine. We'll all be fine."

  


"I suppose." Wufei gave a minute snort. "Duo's hardly been able to sleep himself, the baka." The Chinese boy eased his arms over his bandaged chest. "I tried to tell him all three of you couldn't fit on that bed but of course he ignored me. He's been watching over you ever since and only fell asleep less than an hour ago."

  


"D-Duo?" Kasai tried to turn over but her injured side prevented any major movement. "I- I told him that my amnesia was gone but I didn't get to see his reaction."

  


"Oh, he was shocked, to be sure." His mouth twitched into a tiny smirk. "You've shocked us many times, Kasai."

  


"I'm sorry," she sighed. She snuggled down under the covers, relishing in the feel of friends around her. "Everything's okay now." 

  


"Hn," was Wufei's noncommital response. "At least now I can stop worrying about you."

  


Kasai raised up. "Worried? About me? Ne, Wufei?"

  


"Of course I was, woman!" he said angrily. "You disappeared for nearly a year!"

  


"I'm sorry," she whispered again. "If I'd known . . ." 

  


Wufei's face softened. "You _didn't_ know and we will not blame you for anything."

  


"Thank you, Wufei," she said softly.

  


The door creaked open, shedding more light on the room. Heero stood in the entryway. Cobalt roamed over the four figures and stopped on Kasai. "Zechs phoned again."

  


"Again?" Kasai echoed, voice cracking. "I . . . should tell him I'm alright."

  


"I told him for you."

  


"Oh. Thank you."

  


No answer. The Japanese boy entered the room and leaned against the far wall beside Wufei. There was a rustling of paper and Trowa also walked in with a brown paper bag. He silently passed coffee among the two awake boys before sitting in another empty chair. No one spoke and Kasai allowed the warmth to seep into her again. 

  


Behind her, Duo stretched out long legs, opening a sleepy eye. "Party?" he quipped. "Fun." He breathed out an exaggerated yawn and unconsciously cocooned to Kasai's back. She stiffened momentarily, then relaxed and smiled at this reach out to her. His breathing fell even again and violet was hidden away. Kasai hesitated, then reached and pulled Quatre into her arms. He crinkled his nose and dilated aqua looked up at her.

  


"Kasai," he murmured, managing a smile. 

  


"Hey. Feeling okay?"

  


His eyes fluttered close again. "Aa."

  


Kasai pressed her lips against his forehead and raised her chin so he could rest his head against her chest. She felt Duo's arm snake around her waist tentatively from the other side, wavering when she tensed faintly, and then entwined his slender fingers with hers.

  


She sighed contentedly. These boys weren't her enemy. They never _were_ her enemy. They cared about her. Had always. But what would happen come tomorrow? Mirialdo was still out there and she had to tell him she remembered. That, and more . . .

  


***

  


When Kasai woke again, her back was cold, telling her Duo had been gone for a while. She looked over at Quatre and was surprised to find him watching her.

  


"I woke up just before you did," he said, curling a hand under his cheek. "Duo's eating dinner. He didn't want to leave but I told him I would take watch until he came back. As I understand it, we've been asleep for two days now."

  


Kasai nodded. "And we won the battle."

  


"Yes, we did. Kasai," he said, eyes shining. "Duo told me that you-"

  


"Quatre," she cut him off gently. "The fog covering my mind has lifted."

  


The boy ducked his head, peeking shyly through blonde strands. He lifted his hand and touched a finger to her heart. "It's free . . ."

  


Removing his hand, she pressed it up against his own chest. "Free," she agreed in a whisper. They both smiled at each other knowingly.

  


"You're awake!"

  


Rolling over, the two peered at Duo. The American set down the tray he carried and grinned happily. "I brought you both some dinner, just in case you woke up. How are you feeling?"

  


"A little stiff, but good," said Kasai.

  


Quatre pushed away the covers and sat up slowly. Duo and Kasai protested against him getting up but the little Arab smiled gently and replied that he felt much better. Rising on shaky legs, he said he was going to get dinner in the kitchen. He tossed a meaningful looked at Duo and staggered sleepily out.

  


"Oh, why am I always getting knocked unconscious?" Kasai muttered under her breath musingly. 

  


"Beats me," Duo snickered. "There's a clean shirt beside you."

  


Kasai sat up in the bed, slipping on the large cotton shirt. "You can turn around again."

  


Duo, still grinning, held out a steaming cup of soup and she took it, finding his smile infectious.

  


"Don't baby me," she said humourously, cautiously sipping the hot concoction. "Getting shot doesn't mean I'm helpless."

  


He shrugged and perched on the edge of the bed. 

  


"Ne, Kasai?"

  


"Hm?"

  


"Why did you stand up to me when we attacked the OZ party?"

  


Kasai slowly lowered her cup and stared down at her reflection. "Mirialdo trained me to fight against you. I hadn't even piloted Silverflame by then but it angered me that you would attack a bunch of civilians like that."

  


"Former OZ members," Duo corrected.

  


"But still guests," she argued ruefully. "And they were the only people I knew 'sides Mirialdo. Treize was very kind to me."

  


"T-Treize Khushrenada?!" Duo squeaked.

  


"Not so loud, Duo," she hushed, glancing at the door. "I understand the past conflicts you had with him but the past is past now, Duo. If he can forget it, so can you."

  


Duo moved to complain but snapped his mouth shut. He fidgeted on the rumpled bedspread, not knowing what to do or say. His long, chestnut braid hung thick between lean shoulder blades and Kasai reached out to touch its silkiness. Duo froze, grasping her hand.

  


"Just how much _do_ you remember?" he asked, arching a brow.

  


She frowned and gave a small shrug. "As far as I know, everything."

  


"Everything?" he echoed, swallowing hard. "Then that means you, ah . . ."

  


Kasai slid from beneath the covers, ignoring her complaining side, and scooted over to Duo. She stared up at him from beneath long lashes coyly. Suddenly she tackled him, laughing at his startled yelp and tickled him unmercifully. They fell back onto the bed, chests heaving, and soft giggles filled the room. Duo propped himself upon an elbow, violet eyes glittering. Lithe fingers touched his cheek under the heavy bangs, falling into seriousness.

  


"How could I ever have forgotten you?" she whispered.

  


"Don't ever blame yourself, Kasai," he said quietly. He wanted to take her in his arms and make everything okay again. A year had been stolen from them, a year they could never gain back. Kasai remembered . . . but every movement she made, everything she said spoke of her unsureness with him. Her distrust. He wanted to have what they had started building before _so much_.

  


Duo yawned to break the uncomfortable silence.

  


"Sleepy?" she teased, grateful to him.

  


"A little," he admitted and sat up. "It _is_ nighttime. I'll tuck you in, kay?"

  


She let him gingerly stuff the covers around her and breathed in deeply as he kissed her forehead. She caught the sides of his face and he looked down at her questionably.

  


"Duo, I- I missed you."

  


He flashed her a bright grin, those words meaning so much to him. He folded his arms around her neck. He felt her hands fluttering along his back before tightening almost painfully. Waiting patiently until she relaxed, he was surprised when Kasai pulled back the covers, inviting, asking. Kicking off his shoes, Duo slipped in and gave in to his urge to wrap around her. She shivered at his gentle touch along her side but held still. They sighed collectively. 

  


"Kasai?"

  


"Hm?"

  


"Could we try starting over?"

  


"Duo, I-"

  


"Wakatta," he interrupted, tightening his grip for a moment. "I understand. We'll take it slow and then see, ne?"

  


"Aa."

  


The boy settled and Kasai could almost feel the fatigue seeping into his slim form. 

  


_Sleep well, Duo._

  


***

  
  


_If I could stay with you, _

  


_for once I'd be oh so happy,_

  


_my life like a book gone sappy,_

  


_don't leave me! I *want* to be happy . . . _

  


_If only I could . . ._

  
  


***

  


Kasai lay awake in bed, arms resting under her head as she gazed up at the ceiling. Light snores drummed her ears and she smiled thoughtfully. _He always *did* snore. Dear Duo, you haven't changed a bit. _The corners of her mouth turned down, eyebrows knotted together. _*I'm* the one who's changed. But for the better . . . or the worse?_

  


Groaning, she stretched and turned on her side to face the sleeping boy. His heart-shaped face was finally peaceful since she'd seen him after she lost her memory. How easily he'd forgiven her and yet would he forgive her for leaving again in the morning?

  


A gust of chilly night air ruffled her hair and raised goosebumps on her sky. Kasai frowned and sat up, turned to gaze at the sliver of palm moon hanging through the open window.

  


_I didn't leave that open._

  


Reaching over, she shut the panel of glass and flicked the latch. She sought to lay back down but a darkened shape near the bedside caught her eye.

  


"Who's there?" she demanded, drawing the sheets up and preparing to waken Duo if need be.

  


The figure stepped forward, revealing a placid face and cascading platinum hair. "Only I, Kasai." The man sat on the edge of the bed before she could spring to her feet to embrace him and stopped her hand from waking the pilot. 

  


"Oh, Mirialdo!" she breathed, pulling his hand to kiss lightly. She wanted to greet him but the knowledge she now held within herself burst out first. "You wouldn't believe, Mirialdo! My name is Kasai Summer. My last name is Summer!"

  


"Summer," he echoed, voice soft. His aqua eyes warmed her heart. "It suits you."

  


"Say it again."

  


"You are Kasai Summer," the man said, watching as her eyes closed and a smile beamed on her face. She seemed to taste the words and he felt an ache to taste her lips on his again.

  


But, ah, no . . .

  


"I'm American. It's nice there this time of year, I remember," she told him, eyes still shut tightly. "I've been an orphan since I was eight. When I turned fourteen, I went to work for an agency called OFRMS, and became Agent 401, scouting the Earth for mobile suits left over from the wars. I was sent to Japan about one and a half years ago and ran into Duo Maxwell within minutes of landing." Her smile grew broader and Mirialdo _saw_ it. He saw it all then.

  


"I would've gotten hit by a car, if not for Duo. I woke up in De Conte, in this bed, and spent the next few weeks trying to figure everything out. I was friends with them, the Gundam pilots, great friends. Except for Heero . . . except for Heero . . ." Her grey eyes opened, tears released and spilled down her cheeks. She still smiled. "I remember, Mirialdo. I remember it all."

  


The former OZ official wanted to take her into his arms but settled for wiping her tears away with his thumb. "Did he cause . . ."

  


Kasai immediately shook her head, long locks spilling over her shoulders. "Heero may think he did but no. The pain in my chest, and Quatre's, was unbidden by anyone. It came so I would meet you, and then it came so I would meet them again." A slim hand curled to her heart. "I'm tied to them. When they hurt, I hurt, and so on.

  


She pressed her palm over his own heart; he could feel its warmth through the thin shirt. "And I can feel you hurting too."

  


Mirialdo gave a soft laugh. "Do you now?"

  


"Yes, I do," she said seriously. "And I wish I could take it away."

  


He removed her hand, taking it between his own. "People like me aren't meant for happiness, Kasai. Kind people like you are." He looked over at the Gundam pilot snoozing unawares just a few feet away and his expression grew sad.

  


"Mirialdo!" she choked, grasping his smooth chin so he'd look away, so he'd look at her. "You are one of the kindest people I have ever met. You- you took care of me and taught me things, and saved me in more ways than one."

  


The man only gently pushed her away a distance. It was the only way. The only way he could say goodbye. He shouldn't have come back but . . . but he wanted to hold her in his arms one last time. He _needed_ to.

  


His ears perked up when he heard an almost foreign sound. Kasai's muffled giggles. A blonde eyebrow raised inquisitively, perfect mouth slightly amused. Unable to resist any longer, he looped his arms through hers and pulled her against him.

  


"Oh, Mirialdo," she breathed. "I don't know what to do." 

  


He knew what she meant; Kasai did not. Slender fingers dove into her flaming hair, nose inhaling the sweet aroma, making a silent memory. _Your eyes speak what you do not, love. I already know your decision._

  


Slipping from her grasp, Mirialdo stood. Kasai stared up at her friend, her dear, dear friend.

  


_I do_, she thought. _Do you understand too?_

  


Bowing low, hair spilling across a shoulder, the man took her hand and pressed a kiss on the palm. Kasai watched him cross to the window, pausing for a brief moment. His crystal eyes twinkled in the starlight.

  


"See you in the morning," she said quietly.

  


The aqua orbs slid away and Mirialdo Peacecraft merged into the foggy night, whispering where the beauty could not hear, "No, you will not. Farewell, little flame."


	20. If I Could Fly

Chapter 20: If I Could Fly

  


_If I could fly_

_I'd be a cloud's envy,_

_soar to find voice's key,_

_give you all the joys I see_

_just to hear your song._

  


_If I could fly_

_the ground would never touch my feet,_

_fast my aching heart would beat,_

_in the skies we'd always meet_

_just to see your face._

  


_If I could fly_

_no more this heart would ache,_

_no more these hands would shake,_

_I hell no more could take_

_just to feel you near._

  


_If I could fly_

_I'd shoot for the moon,_

_sleep past time till noon,_

_dance to a bird's tune_

_just to be in your arms._

  


_If I could fly_

_I wouldn't cry,_

_nor heavy sigh,_

_and . . . and I wouldn't need 'goodbye' _

_if only, only I could fly._

  


She was gone before any of the other Gundam pilots awakened. They were all sleeping in today, catching up on well-deserved rest. It took her only an hour to walk the distance to Mirialdo's cabin, which was frightening close to their one-time enemies. Her breath came out in little puffs in the fresh spring air and by the time she reached the wooden porch, her forehead was slick with sweat.

  


"Mirialdo!" she called happily, swinging the front door shut behind her. "I'm back! I'm home! Mirialdo?" She took a few hesitant steps into the living room. It was empty, void of the man's books and albums. Even the dishes in the kitchen were gone. "M-Mirialdo?" she called again, quieter. She walked upstairs to the bedroom they had shared. The four-post bed was still there and the clothes Mirialdo had given her lay neatly folded on the bare mattress. 

  


"No," she whispered, torching the articles. "Where are you, Mirialdo?" She flopped onto the bed and an envelope bounced once, twice. Raising up on her elbows, Kasai stared at the unmarked envelope before grabbing it and dashing downstairs.

  


The hearth was cold but Kasai threw the envelope into the grey ashes anyway, crumpling on her hands and knees, fighting back the sobs that rose. _He hasn't left me! He hasn't!_. Her eyes fixed on the ash-dusted envelope and in a swift movement, she snatched it from the fireplace. Letting out her breath slowly, Kasai opened the envelope and pulled a folded piece of crisp paper. In a long, slightly shaky script, it read:

  


_My dear,_

  


_In time, I hope you will forgive me for what I am doing. I came last night with every intention of bringing you back with me and then I saw for myself just how happy you were. Forgive me, Kasai, for not doing more to help you and forgive me for thinking I could take away your innocence when that was the one thing you never lost. Meeting you brought me from my grief and showed me that I can live again. That I can love again. _

  


_I know you may hate me and feel as though I have abandoned you, but we will meet again, I assure you so. I am traveling west, to the former Americas. Someone I know told me they are nice this time of year. _

  


_You should also know that I have destroyed the Tallgeese. In a world with no use for such a weapon, it is best. And in a world with no use for me . . ._

  


_I will never forget what we shared. I will never forget what we shared, how I watched you learn and grow and live and your smile. Do not ever stop smiling. _

  


_Farewell, love._

  


Kasai refolded the letter and tucked it into her back pocket. _You *did* understand, didn't you?_ She straightened slowly, digging her hands into her pockets and feeling the letter there. _I always loved you, Mirialdo. I always will. And I love Duo too. You understood that as well. _

  


"Ah, Mirialdo," she breathed aloud. "I miss you already, my friend."

  


Wandering aimlessly through the small cabin, she took it all in. She found herself back in his - no, _their _- bedroom. His clothes were also gone but in one drawer she found a plain, red shirt and white sheet. The worn shirt was soft in her hands and against her cheek. She inhaled the mixed aroma of aftershave and vanilla. Mirialdo's scent. Tears dampened the fabric, but she set her jaw and placed the shirt back in the drawer. She didn't touch the white sheet; the embroidered lettering of her name was enough to recognize it. 

  


Leaving the items where they were, Kasai walked back downstairs and to the door Mirialdo had once forbidden her to enter. She twisted the warm knob and pushed it open. The smell of powder and burnt metal assailed her nostrils and Kasai could see daylight through the dusty haze. Nothing was left of the Tallgeese except scorched pieces of white metal. He had done it. He had really done it.

  


A thought gripped her and she edged around the mess to the hidden panel on the opposite wall. Silverflame stood untouched in the center of the hangar. The silver, red-tipped wings glinted in the poor light. Kasai had been afraid Mirialdo destroyed her as well! 

  


Gulping, she ran to the Gundam's leg and crawled up it to the cockpit. She paused at the entrance when she saw a note taped to the small seat.

  


_Kasai,_ it read. _Silverflame is yours. Just remember. -M-_

  


Kasai nodded in response. In a world with no use for such things . . .

  


_Thank you, Mirialdo, for everything._

  


***

  


"Are you sure about this?" Duo inquired again, rubbing the back of his neck. The six of them stood along the ridge above Mirialdo's cabin, silent to hear Kasai's answer.

  


"More sure now than ever," she said firmly.

  


Heero grunted and thumbed the detonation device but the girl's small hand upon his stopped him.

  


"I want to do it."

  


He stared at her for a moment, eyes flashing a sort of comprehension, then gave the cylinder to her. Kasai stared down at the cool metal, her hand shaking. She chewed on her lip and half turned to gave back at the boys.

  


"You do not have to do this," Wufei told her and she gave a fleeting smile.

  


"Yes, I do. This is the only right thing I've ever done that actually felt _right_."

  


Quatre sighed, disheartened. "I wish the day would come when we could do the same."

  


"It will," Trowa assured him. "It will come."

  


And it would. Kasai felt in her heart that it would. But today was _her_ time and so she faced Silverflame nestled in the cabin below. Her unsteady hand raised the device, thumb feeling the round button.

  


A hand suddenly closed around her other one and she gazed up into Duo's violet eyes. He smiled and tightened his grip and she felt him strengthen her. A fierce wind swept up and blew into them. Their clothing ruffled. Scarlet and chestnut-brown braids intertwined in the breeze as if wanting to join it in flight.

  


A whisper alighted in her ear, soft and promising. She whispered back and squeezed Duo's hand just as she clenched her other fists, the one with the cylinder.

  


The explosion was absolutely magnificent and the man standing alone beneath the trees dared call it so. As the others up on the ridge returned to where they came from, the man smiled and headed west into the fading sun, vanishing as quietly as he ever appeared.__

  
  


_But . . . since I met you, I can stay,_

_I can have fun, I can dance with a sword,_

_I can understand, I can be strong,_

_I can belong,_

_I can do this, can take off my mask,_

_I can tell and I can see and relax,_

_I can remember! And I won't weep,_

_I'm your friend and my feelings run deep._

_I can fight, but I don't want to._

_I can self-destruct, but I don't need to._

_I can kill . . . but I have peace!_

_and I can stay with you, ah, such peace . . ._

  


_And I can fly, oh I can fly . . ._

_soaring high, now I fly . . ._

  


*owari*

  


Completely finished, finally, after more than a year. There were many times that I wanted to give up on it but I rarely don't completely something I've already started. I had a lot of problems with this fic, mainly because I fell out of the Gundam Wing fandom near the end of it and I didn't want to finish. I *did* finish it though, ne? And I thought the poem I wrote was a nice touch. 

::yawn:: I could ramble on longer but it's late. Now, if I could just finish my DBZ series, I'd be happy! ~Arishia-chan~

email: olympia12@aol.com

website: http://www.geocities.com/arishia_chan/index.html


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